


Ein Riese, der Fliegen Wollte

by Closet_Cleaner



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Families of Choice, M/M, Titan experiments, Titan!Eren, actually probably less than canon-typical, but also Human!Eren, but that's not going to be for a while, canon has a lot of violence, eventual slash, slow-burn, smut will be made easily skipable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-02-18 05:12:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 63,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2336534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Closet_Cleaner/pseuds/Closet_Cleaner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He needn't have worried. The small one was strong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sees the human many more times since then. It seems as if the herd doesn't venture out without it. He wonders if that one is the pack-leader. It seems logical, but humans are not always creatures of logic. </em>
</p><p><em>He forces back memories of </em>that one, <em>and continues to shadow the herd whenever it ventures out. He makes a habit of waiting in the small grouping of trees near the gate so as not to miss one of their outings. Eventually he learns to distinguish the small one from the others even before it takes to the air, and he feels proud of this accomplishment.</em></p><p>  <em>Months later, only hours after the humans had returned behind their walls, everything changes.</em></p><hr/><p>(In which Eren is not a human that can turn into a Titan, but a Titan that can turn into a human.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Small Passionate Flame

**Author's Note:**

> I've been throwing this idea around for a while, and I wanted to know what y'all thought of it. Should I continue it? I have a lot of it planned out, it just needs to be written.

_He glances up as the small bit of sky visible through the curtain of leaves flashes briefly with a rush of panicked sparrows. Huffing out a breath, he sends a dark look to the abnormal that had startled them, but the drooling ten-meter pays him no heed, instead continuing to violently throw itself into a tree trunk. A growl begins to rise in his throat, ready to broadcast his displeasure only to cut off abruptly when a familiar sound draws his attention._

_The stampede of hooves, the clatter of wooden wagons, and the panicked shouts could signal only one thing._

Humans.

_He wastes no time, sprinting through the forest in the direction of the inevitable battle. Humans rarely left their walls in anything but a large herd, which never failed to attract a horde of Titans. He smirks. It’s been much too long since he's had a good fight._

_As the trees begin to give way to grassy fields, he catches sight of them. They truly were tiny creatures, and yet so clever and willful. He watches with rapt attention as a 12-meter falls, tendons in the feet sliced through with two clean cuts. In almost no time at all, another descends on the titan’s nape with a flash of razor-sharp metal, a burst of steam announcing its victory._

_He turns his gaze from the disintegrating corpse to watch a group of three humans take down a 14-meter in the time it takes gravity to seduce the large body to the ground. An exhilarated rumble bubbles in his chest as he watches the little creatures. They fought like wolves, taking down much larger prey than themselves with only the strength of their pack to protect them against certain death. He could feel the rush of adrenaline well up inside him just watching them._

_A whirring sound draws his attention and his eyes widen as he sees one of the humans hurtling through the air on thin cables, hooks embedded deep in the flesh of a 15-meter. It was the one thing humans did that never failed to take his breath away. That those tiny wingless creatures managed to defy the pull of the earth and_ fly.

 _A small yearning sound escapes him before he can smother it._ _He would give anything to feel that kind of freedom._

_This human doesn't disappoint, either. He watches as the tiny thing spins in a graceful whirl, carving through two titans at once with an unmatched elegance. He wonders briefly if this one had been there on previous excursions, but he can’t be sure. Not for the first time, he wishes that humans were easier to tell apart. Their tiny faces all looked the same from his height. He thinks this one might be a bit smaller than the rest._

_The human's movement however, that was a whole different story. He's never seen a human move like that before. It didn't look like precarious swinging on thin cables. It looked like pure, effortless_ flight.

_As the last Titan falls, and the herd of humans and horses continue uninhibited across the planes, he follows them from a safe distance, hoping to pick off some of the Titans that will inevitably be drawn to them._

_He hopes the small one doesn't get eaten._

* * *

_He needn't have worried. The small one was strong._

_He sees the human many more times since then. It seems as if the herd doesn't venture out without it. He wonders if that one is the pack-leader. It seems logical, but humans are not always creatures of logic._

_He forces back memories of_ that one, _and continues to shadow the herd whenever it ventures out. He makes a habit of waiting in the small grouping of trees near the gate so as not to miss one of their outings. Eventually he learns to distinguish the small one from the others even before it takes to the air, and he feels proud of this accomplishment._

_Months later, only hours after the humans had returned behind their walls, everything changes._


	2. Phönix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humanity receives a grim reminder, and a certain Titan shifter is thrown into the middle of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, you all left such nice things on the prologue I couldn't help myself. *throws next chapter at you and hides behind a bush to watch your reactions* Hope you like it!

He lets out an empty scream as he hits the ground, his lungs too shocked to make any real sound. After the impact, he can't move, can only lay there on the ground, trembling and letting out small whimpers of pain and sensation.

It was an indescribable feeling, being ripped out of his own neck. Aside from the pain of his only weak spot being mutilated, his human body was quite different from his Titan one. It moved differently, it handled differently, it felt sensations differently, and the sensory overload was enough to immobilize him every time.

He looks up to see the Female Titan walking away from his much larger corpse towards the gaping hole scoured into the once-pristine wall. There were two others with her, the Colossal and the Armored, that had torn an entrance in the barrier that the humans had surrounded themselves with. He had tried to stop them, but he was no match for three others like him.

 _"Hyperion-Class",_ the memory darts trough his head like noxious smoke, _"very rare indeed."_

He shakes his head to clear it. He was in no condition to fight in this state, and he won't be able to return to his Titan form for hours, which means he's stuck as a human during a Titan battle. He groans loudly.

He has to get behind the wall. It's his only chance.

Hauling himself from the wad of scalding Titan flesh proves difficult, and he curses at this fragile body's sensitivity to temperature. When he is finished, and his burns have begun to heal, he looks down to take stock of his condition. He's covered in steadily-evaporating Titan blood, and is dressed only in the plain tunic and trousers that he had been forced to wear at _that place_.

He hopes he doesn't stand out too much.

The whirring sound of human flight-machines draws his attention, and he looks up just in time to brace for impact as a quickly-accelerating human slams into him. They tumble for a few feet before coming to rest, and once he orientates himself, he quickly scrambles over to the large human to see if it's okay.

He breathes a sigh of relief as he sees the chest rapidly expanding and contracting and wild brown eyes looking him over. The human immediately begins to stutter out a stream of words and he vaguely recognizes the ones for apology. He stands up shakily, still not used to the way his human body moves, but another whirring sound makes him drop to the ground, expecting another impact.

He needn't have bothered, of course, as the second human lands lightly atop his slowly-disintegrating Titan body. The two humans exchange sharp words before the new one looks over to him, eyes widening, and mouth opening to let out words he doesn't understand.

_"Jesus kid, how the fuck did you even get out here?"_

It was hard to tell at first because of the drastic change in perspective, but he gasps as he realizes that this is indeed the small one. He lets out a trill of happiness that he is able to see its features more closely, the sound ringing differently in his much smaller throat.

 _"Fuck, Gunter, how hard did you fucking hit this kid?"_ The little one shakes his head and says more sharp words to the other, gesturing at the wall before taking off after an advancing 15-meter.

He barely has enough time for a disappointed whine before he's hauled up into the other's arms. He yelps and flails a little in the strong grasp, but the human makes a series of reassuring sounds that were probably words, and he slows his frantic movements.

A sharp whistling sound came from the human, and a nearby horse trots over to them, shaking its reins. Before the creature can even stop, the man heaves him atop it, climbs up after him, and urges the horse onward.

Having never ridden a horse before, it is of course perfectly understandable that he screams and latches onto the large human as tight as he can with his arms and legs as the beast jolts and heaves below him, galloping as fast as it can towards the ruined wall.

* * *

 

_"This is as far as I can take you, kid. I've got a battle to get to. Head towards the gondolas, and you should still be able to make it."_

When he only frowns, not comprehending, the human points in the direction a few other humans seem to be running in, saying some more unintelligible words before hauling the reins around and coaxing the horse back towards the fighting

Without any other real option available to him, he sets off in a jog in the direction the human pointed. As he runs, he looks around at the structures that the humans live in. They were different from the ones in _that place_ , but not by much. The materials seemed to be mostly natural stone and wood versus the bright red bricks of that horrible place. He wonders if there's a reason for that.

After a few minutes, he realizes that while he was observing the architecture, he'd lost sight of the last few remaining humans. Frowning, he scents the air, his sense of smell isn't as good in his human form, but with the humans out of sight, he'll have to rely on it for navigation through the winding streets.

As he takes another turn, growing impatient with the twisting structure of the human city, he hears a despairing shriek, the source of the sound can be seen only a few yards in front of him. A small dark-haired human is clawing at a fallen beam, trying to lift it off of an even smaller, light-haired one. Both of their faces are leaking profusely, which he remembers is a human way of expressing sadness or desperation. They yell at each other, and the one with its legs pinned keeps trying to push the other away.

Without a second thought, he runs over to them and pushes the dark-haired one to the side. In one swift motion, he grabs hold of the beam and _heaves_ , the wood and stone around him creaking and groaning in protest. He knows his strength is greater than a human's, and the effort he has to exert just to lift the wooden construct is enough to convince him that the human never would have been able to lift it alone.

He wonders if they realized that.

When the trapped human is hauled free, the other shouts words at him and slings one of the blond's arms over its shoulder and helps it hobble slowly along. He watches them shuffle along for a few moments before letting out a sigh and dropping the beam to the ground with a deafening crash and a plume of dust and debris. Approaching the others, he grabs the blond one around the waist and heaves it over his shoulder.

When the humans protest, he simply nods his head in the direction the greatest concentration of human scent is coming from and takes off in a sprint, the other human falling in step behind him. He can smell the blood coming off of the human in his arms, the scent clogging up his airways with a heady perfume. It had been a long time since he'd scented a human so closely, and this one smells of fear and pain and blood, and he has to fight back the instincts that tell him to devour it.

When he reaches the crowd of humans, he has to stop and marvel at the large, moving building that they're all clambering desperately on top of. A larger human sees them and shouts to the others, grabbing ahold of them to pull them through the crowd. When they reach the front of the mass of humans, the large one behind them pushes them up a board onto another of the wooden constructs, this one not yet moving, and he looks down to see a river below them. He wonders why they were treated differently, but as he looks around the vessel, he sees many more smaller humans.

It seems as though humans have a hierarchy that is directly opposite of the Titan one, with the smaller humans being more valuable and respected than the larger ones. He wonders why, and wishes he had the words to ask them. Maybe it has something to do with why _his_ small one is so important to the roaming pack.

Either way, the two humans with him look relieved to be on the wooden construct, so he follows their lead and sits. When the vessel eventually starts to move after gorging itself of humans, he can't help but watch as they get further from his home and steadily deeper into a land he knows nothing about while unable to escape from his fragile human form.

For the first time since Olympus, he is well and truly afraid.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will elaborate on Eren's past in a later chapter, don't worry. Let's just say he had a less-than-pleasant experience with some humans before.  
> And yes, that is Armin and Mikasa that he helped out, don't worry, they become main characters.


	3. Behind High Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Refugees of Maria find work in Rose, and Eren makes friends with the two humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! I did not expect this chapter to be so long! There's not a lot of dialogue in the middle portion, but I felt like it was really important to show the culture shock Eren is going through.  
> Just for reference: I bumped the ages up for the kids, so during the fall of Maria, Armin and Mikasa are 13, Eren looks around 14, and Levi is 22.  
> Thank you so much for all of your feedback! I was so shocked and giddy to read all of those lovely comments!  
> (Also, I fixed some typos in the last chapter. This isn't beta'd, so feel free to point out any you see.)  
> Enjoy!

The gondola pulls to a halt in one of the trade villages just inside Wall Rose. The refugees begin to disembark from it hesitantly, and Mikasa pulls her jacket closer around her as she waits. The chill of an early winter doesn't bode well for them. She looks over to Armin, who is currently nestled comfortably against the other side of the strange olive-skinned boy who had saved them in Shiganshina. Armin had begun to shiver violently on the way over, both of them lacking adequate cold-weather clothes, but fortunately for them the boy ran hot as a furnace and didn't seem to mind the breach of personal space.

Armin had tried to engage the boy in conversation during the journey, but any time he was prompted to speak, he would just frown with a confused look on his face. Mikasa finds him...odd.

"Mikasa." She looks over at Armin, who is gesturing at the empty gangplank. She nods and helps him stand, but before she can do anything else, the odd boy hauls Armin up into his arms again—this time bridal style.

He grunts at her, and Mikasa wonders what exactly she's supposed to take from the sound, but before she can question him he's already making his way to shore. "Be careful with him." She warns, following closely and watching his movements cautiously. The boy just grunts again, and she scowls.

* * *

The ration line is long, and the mutterings of the guards only make the wait feel more daunting. What if there really _isn't_ enough to go around? What if the guards decide to take the food for themselves? What if they don't find a place to live? She looks to Armin, and the grim expression on his face betrays the same worrisome thoughts. Knowing Armin, he's probably already puzzled out every way this could go horribly, painfully wrong.

She looks to the odd boy to see how he's fairing, and finds him absolutely fascinated by a white moth that was perched on one of the empty crates next to them.

"How can you be so relaxed about this!?" She snaps, anger spiking only to be immediately replaced by regret when the boy turns to look at her with those wide, innocent eyes. He tilts his head in confusion and frowns before glancing around questioningly, as if wondering if it was actually him she was talking to.

"I'm starting to think he really has no idea what we're saying." Armin says softly, still wrapped up in the boy's hold. Armin had tried to convince him to let him down once they were in line, even trying to physically climb out of the embrace, but the boy just looked pointedly at his bruised and bloody legs and held him tighter. Mikasa wonders how long it will take for his arms to get tired.

"You think he's simple?" It sure seemed like it at times.

"He could be." Armin frowns "Or maybe he hit his head during all of the commotion. Do you remember when old man Johnson fell out of that window?"

Mikasa nods slowly, recalling the incident. "He didn't remember his own name for a week." The whole village had come out to help him, which unfortunately only confused and agitated the man more. She wonders briefly if he made it out of Shiganshina.

"When we find a place to sit down, we should look him over just to be sure. He could be seriously injured." He looks up at the boy worriedly.

Just then the moth that had captivated the boy moments earlier takes to the air and with a chaotic fluttering of wings, finds a new resting spot right between two mesmerized blue-green eyes. A lopsided smile splits the tanned face and he looks to Mikasa like it's the most fascinating thing that has ever happened to him.

"Or...maybe he really is simple."

* * *

After they were each handed a small loaf of bread, they had hurried to the crowded square to eat their rations and wait for more instructions. They were currently standing next to a monument of someone that was probably either long dead or safe behind Sina, making conversation.

The odd boy still refused to put Armin down, and there had been a heart-stopping moment a few minutes prior when a large man had bumped into Armin's dangling legs, causing him to whimper in pain. Mikasa had been just about to tell the man off when she'd heard an honest-to-goddess _growl_ come from behind her. She had turned around to see the boy's teeth bared in a snarl and his eyes flinty. Needless to say, they haven't seen the man since and there was a sizeable gap between them and the rest of the crowd.

Armin had begun patting the boy's shoulder reassuringly after the incident, and now his face was back to displaying its normal curious innocence.

"He needs a name." Armin turned to look at Mikasa, and his face was full of sympathy. "I can't keep calling him just 'he' and ‘boy’ in my head." Mikasa glances over at the boy.

"He probably already has one."

Armin gives her a _look_. "That doesn't exactly help us if we don't _know_ it, and I doubt he's going to tell us what it is anytime soon."

Mikasa taps the boy's shoulder to get his attention. "Hey, we're going to give you a name, is that okay?"

She gets the exact response she expected from the boy—which is none—and Armin sighs at her, getting the boy’s attention. He gestures at himself with his hand "Armin." He nods and repeats himself " _Ar-min."_ He does the same for Mikasa and repeats the process over again until he can see understanding light up the boy's eyes. Armin nods again and gestures to the boy, who just frowns. Armin isn't daunted, though, and repeats his and Mikasa's names before gesturing to the boy again.

This time he makes a grunt of understanding. He narrows his eyes a bit in concentration before releasing a gurgling rumble.

"I...hope that means you're okay with this." Armin says, scratching the back of his head. "How about Benjamin?" He repeats the round of names, ending with that one, and the boy grimaces. "Okay, not that one. How about...Robert?" He does it again, and the boy shakes his head like a wet dog.

"Try Ken." Mikasa offers, and he does, only to receive another rejection.

"Hm." Armin frowns. "What about Eren?" He offers up the name, and this time the boy pauses. Armin repeats it, and this time the boy nods, smiling excitedly. "You like that one?" Another nod. "Alright then, nice to meet you, Eren." Armin smiles and the boy— _Eren_ gurgles in delight.

They pass the time in the same light manner, and Mikasa can't help but be grateful for the distraction from their situation. Eventually a man comes out and begins assigning work to the refugees. The options aren't grand, but some come with living spaces, and most come with working rations, which were sometime up to three times as much as the living rations.

Mikasa and Eren are assigned a job tilling and tending to the crop fields in a far-off farming village. The man takes one look at Armin's bloodied legs and almost passes him by, but with enough begging, they manage to get him a job in the same village as an assistant to the village doctor. The man gives them a look of pity and tells them that he'll only get slightly more than living rations and that it doesn't come with quarter, but Mikasa insists that he can share one of their bunks if he has to.

The man nods, and marks it down in his book before pointing them in the direction of the carts that will take them where they need to go.

They have a long ride ahead of them.

* * *

The dark-haired one, _Mikasa,_ collapses onto the cot the second they return from the fields. Eren- (He smiles to himself at the name. He's never had a name before. The other Hyperion-Class Titans have a designated growl that indicates his presence just as he has for them, but it's not a nice sound and it's very difficult on the human throat. He doesn't blame Armin and Mikasa for turning it down when he'd offered it.)

Eren sits next to Mikasa, letting his fingers weave into the smooth black hair atop the human's head. He'll never get used to how many sensations his human body can feel. His normal one could only feel pain, pressure, and the occasional itch, but his human body can actually _feel_ the silky texture of Mikasa's hair and the rough grain of the tool he had been using earlier to break earth with.

He marvels at how sensitive certain parts are, too—like the fleshy parts that cover his teeth and make flapping noises when he breaths large breaths through them. He didn't have those in his Titan form. He's not sure how he feels about them yet. He supposes they look a bit useful for things like speaking, but they get in his way when he eats, and he keeps biting them.

Speaking of...he reaches into the pouch the other humans had given him and pulls out a round brick of human food, handing it to Mikasa. When the human doesn't move, he grunts and pushes the food-product against the head hidden under dark hair.

At least he assumes it's food, since it looks an awful lot like what they had eaten before, despite the lack of any kind of meat smell coming from it. He wonders if humans are plant-eaters like deer despite looking so Titan-like, but he's never seen a plant that looks like the brick in his hand before.

Mikasa raises their head (His? Her? Do humans even have a concept of gender like Titans do? So many questions to ask, but no words to ask them!) and silver-blue eyes widen. The brick is no longer in his hand a second later, so he lowers it to the bed.

He wonders when Armin comes back from the daily tasks. He worries about the delicate human. It seems so fragile. He wonders if he was wrong about the human hierarchy. Maybe the bigger humans just want to protect the little ones more.

But that didn't make sense...the small one from the roaming pack was constantly in danger, and none of the big ones seemed to try and stop it from endangering itself.

Maybe he would never figure humans out. Titans were easy to figure out. They did not have such strange customs and rules. They did not stop him from scratching an itch on his back with the side of a tree and wouldn't have objected to him drinking the hot, chunky, liquid food with his hands. And they would _never_ have tried to force him to wear the hateful foot coverings like the humans did. On the three-day-long wagon ride to the place they were meant to do tasks in, he had learned that humans were very different than Titans when it came to what was considered acceptable behavior. Titans do what they want, and if you didn't like it, you ate them. Or they ate you. That's just the way it is!

He sighs. He only knows a few words in human, and he's only vaguely certain of their validity. Humans tended to mash thirty sounds together in order to get a single point across, and if he could only pick out a couple of them, how was he ever supposed to find the answers to his questions?

Mikasa puts a hand on the back of his shoulder, and he instinctively tenses at how close it is to his weak-spot. Words fall from its mouth, and though he doesn't understand them, the look on the pale, round face is full of sympathy. Human facial expressions were very similar to Titan ones, which has been a saving grace in this chaotic civilization of miniature people, but this expression he recognizes from some of the humans in _that place._ Namely the ones who had helped him escape his binds and flee. He hasn't forgotten them, or the promise he made to himself when he left.

He makes a reassuring sound for Mikasa before walking over to his cot. It's much more comfortable than sleeping in a cave or on the forest floor, and he wonders what it's made of. The sun had gone down an hour ago after a full day of labor, so he expected an easy sleep.

He watched Mikasa do the same, and as he felt the sun's energy seeping from his skin, he drifted off.

* * *

Armin shuffles back to the shed that had been assigned to Mikasa and Eren for sleeping in, the palms of his hands sore from the worn crutches the doctor had lent to him. It was after dark, but the doctor had kept him late to make sure he understood everything he would need to know; pointing out a seemingly endless amount of bottles and boxes and herbs and even a scum-covered leech tank.

The weight of the bread in his front pocket reminds him of how hungry he is, but he doesn't eat it yet. He plans to try and slip some to the other two, since they had actually done a hard day's work. Plus, the doctor had let him eat an apple from the tree that grew outside the office.

He stops outside the door and knocks—one crutch wedged in his armpit for the heartbeat his hand is occupied—sounds can be heard inside, and a moment later, an exhausted looking Mikasa opens the door for him.

"Armin." Every syllable is full of relief “I was worried when you didn’t come back."

Armin ducks his head sheepishly as he hobbles in, setting his crutches against one wall and sitting on the unoccupied cot. "Sorry, Mikasa. The doctor kept me late to show me the supplies. He said most days won't be this late, though." He stops and says seriously "How was your first day in the fields?"

Mikasa sighs and sits next to him, the uncomfortable cot groaning beneath her. "Tiring. My arms and legs ache and I've got blisters on my hands." She lifts them up to show him and Armin hisses.

"Ouch. Remind me to ask for something to fix those tomorrow." She nods and looks over at Eren's sleeping form. "How was he?" Armin asks, not actually sure what to expect from the strange boy.

"He was..." Mikasa frowns, and for a moment, Armin worries. "Excited and confused."

Armin chuckles. "So just like normal? Did he have any trouble?"

She shakes her head "No, once I showed him what to do, he seemed to get the hang of it." She smiles. "I think he thought it was fun."

"Lets hope that lasts." He muses, looking over at the boy in question, only to startle when he sees bright green-blue eyes staring back at him. "Hey there, Eren. Did you have a good day?" He doesn't expect an answer as the boy sits up, and he doesn't get one aside from a big simile.

Eren climbs out of his cot to wrap Armin up in a bear hug, squeezing him tightly and lifting him off the ground with its force. Armin can't help but smile at the gesture, despite the fact that his toes were dangling in the air.

* * *

The embrace lasts for a few seconds before he puts Armin back down. He pats at the human's front absently to find whatever it was that had connected hardly with his chest, only to find that the front pocket held an uneaten food-brick. He frowns and looks at Mikasa, whose mouth is pulled into an upset line.

Taking that as conformation, he offers the brick back to Armin with what he hopes is a stern look. Armin glances away and sheepishly takes the food back, hesitantly nibbling at the end. Mikasa crosses her arms.

With a frown, Eren leans down to look Armin in the eye and says the one human word he knows with absolute certainty.

"Eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He speaks! And we see multiple POV!  
> I like how this chapter turned out, despite how hard it was to write. I wish I could have put more dialogue in it though. After this chapter, there will definitely be more!  
> No Levi in this one, sorry! Don't worry though, he'll be back!


	4. The Tongue of Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren speaks a little and Armin and Mikasa jump to some conclusions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this time, sorry. I think it's just over 1k. Your reviews have been so wonderful and motivational and I'm absolutely in love with all of you! <3  
> Oh, and in case you weren't expecting it, fluff and angst are my specialty. Happy endings are a guarantee, though.  
> Enjoy! :D

It takes Eren a few minutes of vague gestures and grunts to get across to the two humans that he his far from fluent in their language, and that he has not- in fact- been hiding the ability from them. Mikasa looks slightly suspicious still, but Armin lights up in excitement, using broad gestures to its mouth and head to convey what Eren assumes is a request to hear what other words he knows.

He frowns, scratching the back of his head. It's been far too long since he's actively tried to puzzle out what the various human noises meant, so he's forgotten much of what he'd learned, but there were a few he was pretty sure he knew.

He nods to the brick in Armins's hands with eyebrows raised expectantly, and the human dutifully resumes eating while Eren decides where to start. He points to Mikasa. "Human." Next, he raises his hand above his head as if measuring a great height. "Titan." Armin nods encouragingly, and Eren looks around, hoping to spark some recognition. He spies the cots and points to them, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes in a pointed blink. "Sleet."

Armin shakes his head, swallowing his mouthful. "Sleep." He says, enunciating the word. Eren manages to wrangle his fleshy teeth-coverings into submission enough to pronounce the last sound, and Armin makes encouraging noises.

They continue that way for a few more words, including _Knife, Steam, Big, Sun, Water, Red, Doctor, Horse, Tree, Open, Hot, Test_ and _Kill._ Armin cringes at that last one.There were a few more that Eren said that Armin seemed unable to make sense of, and Eren figured he was most likely pronouncing them wrong.

Oddly enough, all three classes of Titans -Crius, Coeus, and Hyperion- were among them. He was certain he was pronouncing them right, as _that one_ never seemed to shut up about them. He could have sworn he could remember them to the exact descriptions, despite the almost complete language barrier. _Crius: Average Titans with no significant behavioral traits and low-level intelligence; Coeus: Titans that behave erratically but maintain low-level intelligence; and Hyperion: Titans that possess superior intelligence and often special skills or abilities._ The memories of that time send a shudder down his spine.

But maybe it had been longer than he'd thought. Or maybe these humans call them something else. Eren plans to figure that out later.

For now, he was tired. The sun had been down for hours now, and he hadn't had real food since he was ripped out of his own nape. While the bland, tasteless human food filled his stomach and stopped the pains, it didn't provide him with the energy he would have gotten from the meaty flesh of a deer or cow or a small Titan. For now, he was entirely dependent on the sun for energy. Which was incredibly inconvenient.

Especially if the humans insisted on keeping him up past sundown.

Armin starts to motion something with its hands, but Eren closes his eyes and shakes his head. "No." He stands up and pushes the cots together in one movement with a scrape of wood on stone. "Sleep." He briefly allows himself congratulations on pronouncing the word right, before he sees that the humans haven't moved. "Sleep," he repeats, pointing at the shuttered window. "No sun. Sleep."

The humans just smile at each other and say words he doesn't know. Irritated, Eren walks over and scoops Armin up in his arms with a grunt, plopping the blond on the cot just gently enough not to disturb the still-healing wounds. He turns around to do the same to Mikasa, only to find the other human has already made its way to the cots and clambered inside.

When the humans are situated, he blows out the small fire-stick and climbs onto the cot with them, situating himself between the humans and pulling the threadbare blankets over them. As he closes his eyes to sleep, he feels the humans shaking and making soft noises in their throats. He grunts at them, but it only makes them shake harder, and he resigns himself to waiting it out. Eventually they quiet, and he falls quickly to sleep.

* * *

 

Maybe it was just the built up tension of the past week letting itself out, but it takes Armin and Mikasa a few full minutes to stop laughing after the pouting boy literally dragged them to bed, grumbling at them. Once they do, however, it doesn't take long at all before they can hear soft snores coming from him.

"Eren gets cranky when he's tired." Mikasa mutters with a soft smile "Noted."

"He did work all day." Armin defends, swatting her on the arm. He doesn't miss the grumbled 'So did I', but he pretends he did. Comfortable silence fills the shack for a few minutes while they bask in each other’s warmth before Armin turns on his side, facing Eren and Mikasa. "What do you think happened to him?" He feels more than hears her turn.

"I still think he's simple."

"But you saw him just now! He learns so quickly. I'm pretty sure there's nothing getting in the way of his learning."

He can almost hear the pensive look on MIkasa's face. "Well what do you think happened?"

Armin sighs, eyebrows drawing together. "It's possible he really did hit his head and forget."

"Old man Johnson didn't forget words. Just people. And things."

He shakes his head "Maybe it works differently on other people. Maybe it depends on how hard you’re hit."

Mikasa pauses at the insistence in his voice, and he curses how well she knows him when she speaks. "That's not the only theory you have, though."

He shakes his head before remembering that she can't see him in the dark. "No, it's not.” When he doesn’t respond, she says his name, reaching over the almost feverish boy between them to touch his arm.“I mean, you’ve seen him, right? He walks around like he’s never been outside before in his life, the few words he does know seem like a random fistful from passing conversations, he has absolutely no people skills--normal people don’t growl at other people, Mikasa--It’s like he’s never interacted with other human beings before.”

“So what? You think someone had him locked up?”

He lets his silence speak for him.

“Who would do that?” Mikasa’s hand slides from his arm to Eren’s chest, obviously thinking the same thing as him. Who could ever bring themselves to hurt the innocent boy between them?

A chill sweeps through the shack and Armin huddles closer to the candle-hot boy. “There’s always the chance he really is like old man Johnson.” He tries not to sound desperate.

When Mikasa speaks next, the glimmer of hope he has struggles harder to stay afloat. “I touched his neck earlier and he flinched away like I’d hit him.”

They fall silent, listening to the soft sound of three bodies breathing. By the time Armin voices his next decision, he’s not sure if Mikasa is still awake or not.

“I want to teach him to speak. Then we can ask him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let this be a lesson about jumping to conclusions, children.  
> Levi is stubborn and refuses to let his chapter be written quickly, but I promise he's a main character in this story.


	5. Watching With Wide Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The birds and the bees (and the Titans)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first off, this chapter is possibly nsfw?…I’m actually not…completely sure…??? It’s basically Titan biology, but it includes Titan baby-makin’, so I would read it in private just in case…
> 
> Important background info:
> 
> So I have a personal headcannon about Titans that explains the whole “they have a mouth but no digestive organs” thing by saying that Titans have a ‘blind gut’ like ophiuroids (or brittle stars) which essentially means they have one digestive orifice and regurgitate food waste through their mouths.
> 
> Then I thought “hey, what if I took it a step further?” So I decided to make Titans have a singular orifice that works as a hybrid between a mouth and a cloaca (which is a hybrid orifice usually found in birds that is used for both excretory and reproductive purposes).
> 
> So basically Titans use their mouths for all orifice-related needs.
> 
> Sorry for long A/N, just thought I’d share. I hope you lovelies enjoy the longer chapter!

After showing Armin his meager vocabulary, the small human had made it his mission to teach Eren every word he could possibly think of. He was also recently introduced to the small drawings on paper that supposedly also translated into words.

Humans--it seems--love to exchange words.

Now, months after the start of his learning, Eren listens to Mikasa tell simplified stories about life before the wall was destroyed while they break up the recently-thawed soil. There are still many things he has had to ask for clarification on, but his humans are patient teachers, and always try to explain all that they can.

Mikasa is in the middle of telling a story about Armin chasing down a “chicken” (which is apparently a bird that humans eat, and Eren feels relieved that humans do in fact eat meat), when he sees it.

A few rows away one of the humans clutches at their stomach with a cry before collapsing to the ground. Eren drops the tool in his hands and rushes over, but the nearby humans have beat him to it, and he can't get close to the swarmed human.

Beside him, Mikasa makes a sad sound, and Eren looks harder at the fallen human. It seems to be alright now, and it waves away the helping hands as it struggles into a sitting position. As the humans part, Eren sees something he doesn't know how to interpret.

He gets Mikasa's attention, gesturing at the human on the ground and miming a distended stomach with a worried fervor. Was it some kind of human illness? Could his humans catch it?

Mikasa nods solemnly. "I know. Carla is in no state to be working."

Eren frowns. Realizing that his meaning has been lost, he repeats the gesture. "What...is it?"

Mikasa looks between him and the invalided human as if to figure out what he could possibly mean. Slowly, Mikasa says "Carla is pregnant, Eren." When no response is forthcoming, frowning silver-blue eyes glance to the ground in contemplation. "She's...making a person. In her stomach."

 _'Person'. 'People'._ That was what humans called themselves. For some reason they did not like being called ' _humans'_ , but could not give an exact reason as to why. It takes a full minute for Mikasa's meaning to sink in, but when it does, he looks at the sitting human with wide eyes.

It was a female.

And she was gravid.

Why weren't they running for their lives?

* * *

Mikasa had expected several different possible reactions as she explained Carla's situation to Eren --curiosity, interest, even revulsion-- but the look of out-right terror on his face was something she had not prepared for. Slowly, Eren reaches for her hand and begins to tug her away from the woman.

"Eren, what's wrong?" He shakes his head at her question, simply tugging harder and managing to pull her far from the small crowd of people before he starts to sprint. "Eren?" She manages to free her hand and grabs ahold of Eren's shoulders to stop him, pulling him down to her height. "Eren!"

He whimpers, and it gives her pause. "Eren, are you alright? What happened?"

The boy frowns, eyebrows pulling together and mouth twitching as he finds the words. "Dan...ger." He looks at her with pleading blue-green eyes, and she looks between them to try and glimpse what could possibly be going through the boy's head.

"Carla?" she asks slowly, pointing back at the woman in question "You think Carla is in danger?" Eden seems to take a moment to sift through her words before shaking his head. "You think she’s dangerous?" This time he nods vigorously. "Because she's pregnant?" This time Eren's nod is exasperated, as if he can't possibly fathom why she doesn't understand. She shakes her head. "Eren why would Carla being pregnant make her dangerous?"

Eren's look is helplessly vexed and he raises his hands --fingers curled slightly inward at sharp angles-- and mimes a clawing motion. "Anger. Protect."

When Mikasa finally gets it, she wonders not for the first time if Eren had actually been raised by wolves. "No Eren, no, you don't have to worry about that." She tries to find a way to put it in words he's already learned. "Carla?" she points back in the woman's direction "No anger." She mimics the clawing gesture and then shakes her head, flattening her hands placating. "Carla _safe_. No danger."

Eren looks at her with blatant skepticism, but she manages to usher him back to their row to finish working for the day with little difficulty.

While there are no other incidents, Eren doesn't look in Carla’s direction for the rest of the day.

* * *

Eren trusts Mikasa. That's all there is to it. If Mikasa said that the female was not a threat, then he would just have to take their word for it. That doesn't make it any less surreal, however, to be working next to a gravid female.

Aside from Eren, females and hatchlings are the only Titans with cannibalistic tendencies, and Eren had lost an arm to one long ago when he'd accidentally wandered into her territory. It was not an experience he wishes to repeat.

Another thing that disturbs him as he works next to her is her scent. Maybe it’s normal for a gravid human to have the odor of sickness and malnourishment clinging to her, but it is definitely not so for a Titan to smell as such. Titan males would often sneak into a female's den--on the rare occasion that she left--and regurgitate meals for her--sometimes becoming a meal themselves if they didn't leave quickly enough. As such, all of the females Eren has ever met have all been well-fed.

He wonders if reproduction is another way in which humans are different.

Eren thinks Titan reproduction is a fairly straightforward process. When a female had begun forming eggs within a small inner-pocket in her stomach lining, she would approach a male, secreting a pheromone that acted as both a paralytic and an aphrodisiac.  

Upon scenting her, the glands in the back of the male’s mouth would swell and begin leaking fluid, and the female would waste no time sealing her mouth to his. In most cases, they would remain locked together like this--sometimes for up to an hour--exchanging pheromone-filled saliva and glandular secretions.

Only once she was certain that the eggs were properly fertilized, would she release the male, slipping a final wave of hormones into his mouth that would cause him to vomit immediately. When he'd regurgitated his latest meal, she would consume it and if the male was lucky enough, he had not drawn her attention in that time and she held no further interest in him.

After she'd done this to enough males to ensure complete fertilization and gorged herself on stolen meals, she would hole up in a den to let the eggs grow, only leaving to obtain more food.

When the eggs were finally ready to be lain, she would make rounds of her territory, slaughtering any Titan she came across until the area was deemed secure before digging a hole in the ground and vomiting the soft, slime-covered eggs into it. Once the brood was safely buried in the earth, she would leave and never return. Titan hatchlings emerged from their eggs many months later full-sized and skinless, and immediately upon hatching would begin devouring their nest-mates until only the strongest or fastest survived. After a week, most hatchlings were indistinguishable from adults.

Eren thinks of the Colossal, all naked muscle and sinew; and the Armored, livid red stripes showing through gaps in protective plates; and of the Female, only half-skinned. What was it about being a Hyperion that made them so susceptible to looking like vulnerable hatchlings?

He shakes his head, trying to remember the last time he actually saw a hatchling. Unfortunately for both species, there was something in human meat that made it essential to the formation of Titan eggs. As such, Titans were drawn to the scent of them like a drug. They couldn't digest them, but males would regurgitate them later for a female to find, the preservative slime in their vomit repelling all males with a rancid scent but drawing any female around to it immediately. Only after a female had consumed human flesh would the eggs begin to form.

It was why raids on human colonies have been becoming more and more common. The need for a brood was a powerful one, and with the Female leading the other Hyperions, the humans didn't stand a chance. It made Eren all the more determined to protect the tiny creatures.

* * *

Which is of course why--on a rare day off from working--he is perched in a tree, waiting.

When he was still Titan-sized, hunting was easy. He was faster and stronger than almost every other creature out there, and his usual diet of Crius-class Titans simply didn't have the brain or brawn to defeat him. The only time he would ever need to _stalk_ his meals was for fun.

Now, however, there was only meager, scrawny prey around, and the few small rodents and other animals that werescurrying about were small and fast. He had a hard time even getting near one, let alone catching enough for a meal.

The birds are the key. Eren is sure of it. They have the ability to fly over the high walls and feed from the plentiful fields and forests that surround the human colony, and were plump and nourished. He is determined to catch one, and this had seemed like the best way to go about it.

A twittering to his right draws his attention, and he spies a small blue bird.

Dropping his body down to hug the branch like he's seen many predators do, he slowly creeps forward. Hand over hand on the rough tree limb, he pulls himself towards the bird, who remains very much oblivious to its impending demise...

Or, would-be demise.

"Eren!" The bird startles at the sudden sound and takes off with a flurry of wings.

He glares down at his friends through the foliage—less than thrilled.

Mikasa looks mostly amused, but Armin looks terrified, and begins desperately trying to convince him to come down, as if Eren was going to injure himself from a mere fifteen-foot drop.

Eren finds the idea preposterous at first, but then he recalls the unfortunate incident in the fields a few weeks ago when he was informed that humans did not heal as quickly or as completely as Titans. He also learned that they did not eat their own severed limbs (or toes, as was this situation) and that it was impolite to imply that you would like it if they did not want it.

Regardless of how fragile humans are, Eren does not share those weaknesses, and he is determined to catch a bird if it’s the last thing he does.

Making up his mind, he hooks his legs over the branch and swings down to dangle upsidedown from it. Armin shrieks and clucks like a bird himself, but Eren just levels a frown in their direction.

"Shh." he says, putting his new words to use. "I hunt."

Dark eyebrows crawl up Mikasa's forehead while Armin continues to fret. "Hunting what?"

Eren hooks his thumbs together and wiggles his fingers. "Bir-d."

Mikasa snorts. "You don't have weapons or traps. How are you going to catch it?"

Eren bristles at the slight to his hunting abilities, and he narrows his eyes. "Shh. See me."

The correction 'Watch me' is shouted up through the branches as he climbs back into position, but he just grunts at the human and doesn't attempt to imitate the phrase like usual.

He soon becomes vaguely aware of his humans settling down to rest underneath the tree, but he focuses on shielding himself from view like a good hunter as he waits for his prey.

* * *

Mikasa sighs as she convinces Armin to sit down.

"He's going to get hurt, Mi. And what then? If he can't work, he'll get smaller rations."

She shrugs. "Well maybe he can hunt."

"Mikasa!" He snaps in a hushed whisper, at least mindful of Eren's "request" for silence. "You know as well as I do that Eren's the only reason we're here. I'm useless, you're a girl" he gets a glare for that "If Eren weren't as strong as a horse, we wouldn't have gotten this job and you know it."

Mikasa glances away. It was true. Farming work was back-breaking, but it came with the highest rationing and living quarters. If Eren hadn't been with them that day, Armin wouldn't have been given work at all and she would have probably been sent to work as a seamstress or mill-worker--jobs that got neither quarter nor extra rations. And if she didn't get a job there...she shuddered. When her parents were killed, she'd heard what the men had said about her being _exotic._ It's very likely she would have been sent to work in a brothel.

She glances at Armin. If he hadn't been with her that day her parents died, she probably would have stayed frozen in shock, unable to do anything but watch. Who knows what they would have done with her if he hadn't grabbed her hand and bolted through the back door into the woods.

She owes her life to both of these boys, and she couldn't have chosen better people to owe a debt like that to.

MIkasa smiles softly, looking up at Eren, silently marveling at how still he is. Usually he can't seem to stay immobile for a second, always flitting around with a mix of curiosity and excitement. Now, however, it looked like he was carved in stone. She hadn't heard even a rustle of leaves since he'd climbed back up.

"You think he'll actually catch anything?" She whispers, glancing sideways at Armin.

The boy huffs out a laugh. "Who knows."

Minutes pass in comfortable silence until suddenly there's a commotion of flapping and squawking above them. They look up just in time to see Eren break the neck of a large crow with his teeth.

"Eren! Don't put that in your mouth!" Armin shouts, and Mikasa laughs at the affronted look Eren gives them.

They take the catch home, Eren radiating smugness the whole way.

That is, until they actually start cooking it, and he gives them a completely betrayed look as he tries to rescue the meat from the fire.

It takes Armin a few minutes of explaining that _all_ meat had to be cooked in order for it to be eaten before he was allowed to take the bird from Eren--who watched the entire cooking process with a generous amount of suspicion.

Mikasa tries not to laugh as Armin kneels by the fire, turning the spit nervously as Eren hovers directly behind him, watching intently. She fails miserably when the meat starts popping and Eren lets out a low growl, causing Armin to squeak and jump.

* * *

Humans were so odd. Every day Eren would find some new cultural practice they had that made no sense. Like putting _perfectly_ _good_ _food_ into _fire_.

When the food was finished warming-- _cooking_ , Armin had called it--he takes it from the wooden stake and rips it into quarters. Ignoring the questioning looks directed at the fourth piece, he hands the humans theirs, and they thank him profusely. The smell of the fresh meat makes his mouth water and he wastes no time digging into it.

The taste alone was worth the time squatting in a tree, and he could feel it slide down to settle warmly in his stomach. The bones had softened in the heat, and he decides to give the humans credit--they probably would have been much harder to swallow with his tiny human throat without the _cooking_. He looks over at the others to see them tearing into their portions with abandon, and a sense of pride wells up inside him.

He could protect his friends, keeping them fed and warm if nothing else. It was nice to know he was helping to repay the debt he owed them. Without his humans teaching him the human way, he would have been lost--stuck inside the walls of a species that wanted nothing more than to kill him while at his most vulnerable and with no way of communicating to them.

When the sounds of ripping and tearing had slowly died down, Eren looks over at the others to find them nibbling on the small bones to remove the last shreds of meat. He looks down at their piles of uneaten skeletal pieces, and frowns at yet another odd human custom he hadn’t known about.

Why did they leave the bones for last? Did they save them for something? Was it impolite to eat the bones in public? That seemed suitably odd for a human custom. They did not do this with the food bricks or the chunky liquid food, and Eren flounders for a bit.

Armin begins cleaning up both of their left-over bits, making a pouch with the bottom of its shirt to collect the bones. The human frowns in Eren’s direction. “Eren, where are your scraps? I’ll take them outside.”

He glances to the side guiltily. “Scraps?”

Armin points to the pieces in the make-shift pouch. “It means…the parts you didn’t eat. The bones? You remember that word right? Bone?”

Eren mutters something under his breath, and Armin asks him to speak up. “Bone…I eat.”

“Eren!”

* * *

Unfortunately, the lecture he receives informs him that it is not so much a _cultural_ reason as a _biological_ reason that humans did not consume the bones of animals, and that because of the complex human digestive organs, things that went _in_ easily did not necessarily come _out_ easily. He was not looking forward to the next few days if Armin's predictions were correct.

Thoroughly chastised, he scoops up the fourth piece that he had ripped off, and begins wrapping it in a cloth. The package is sloppily done, but it does the job. He looks out the window. The sun is still relatively high in the sky, so the other humans should still be out enjoying their day off.

Humans—being the odd creatures they were—had a cyclic way of measuring time, and every seven days they had a day with no tasks to do. All of the days in the cycle had names, but Eren hadn't quite seen the point of naming _time_ , so he wasn't as eager to learn them.

"What's that one for?"

He looks up to see Mikasa staring at the package curiously, and he feels his face heat. He doesn't know the rules about this kind of behavior, but every instinct in his body was telling him that it was the right thing to do. Still, he looks at his feet when he answers.

"Car...la."

Mikasa's eyebrows shoot up. "That's...really nice of you, Eren." He breathes a sigh of relief that he won't be going against human tradition. "I thought you were afraid of Carla."

Armin looks up at that. "What?"

"Yesterday, Eren freaked out when he realized Carla was pregnant. He thought she would be dangerous to be around."

Armin blinks. "Really?"

Eren huffs and crosses his arms. He chokes out a string of newly-learned words and hopes they make sense. "Still think danger. Not mean...want...Car-la hungry. Egg...need meat...make grow." His face screws up at the choppy wording. Not wanting to explain any more than that, Eren rushes out the door, ignoring the calls of his name behind him.

He'd seen the hut the female went to when she got home, and he heads for it now. His palms wet and his mouth dries at the thought of entering a female's den, no matter how much Mikasa had assured him that it was safe. The memory of his arm being chewed from its socket by an enraged female is still fresh in his mind.

He's trembling slightly as he reaches the door to her den, and his hand fumbles with the latch as he enters, shutting the door firmly behind him. Spying two cots pushed together like in his own hut, he walks over to place the parcel on it.

Halfway to the bed Eren realizes he isn't alone, and his heart seizes in his chest.

The female--Carla--sits in a small, wooden chair with a book splayed open in her lap. Her eyes are wide as she stares at him, neither of them moving for an eternity. The wind whispers outside the open window, rustling leaves and causing the shutters to rattle slightly. He tries to remember how far away the door is without tearing his eyes from the female. He’s in unfamiliar territory and it doesn’t bode well for him.

Eren whimpers, and it breaks the spell between them.

"W-what are you doing here?" The book slides to the floor as she struggles to stand, one hand braced on the arm of the chair and the other on her swollen stomach.

Eren backs up quickly, bumping into a small table and causing various items to clatter to the floor despite his hurried attempts to steady it. He glances up to see the female looking startled. Taking advantage of her confusion, Eren slowly, _cautiously_ places the wrapped parcel of meat on the table....

And hurls himself through the window behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, next chapter I promise to teach Eren Armin's and Mikasa's pronouns which will make me have to do less literary gymnastics and hopefully make the writing smoother.
> 
> All comments are treated like precious gold, and even if I haven't responded to yours, trust me--I loved it! It's been difficult to squeeze this fic in between schoolwork and real life, but your lovely comments keep me going!


	6. It Takes a Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's difficult to raise a teenager. Especially when that teenager is older than you and a Titan. Armin and Mikasa will have to make do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late. I had to deal with a family thing and I couldn't really get my head back into a writing mood afterward. Have a sprinkle of Levi POV and a flashback as compensation.
> 
> Also, I get the feeling from watching the show that the culture is a lot like many were back in the horse-and-wagon days, but with more in the way of engineering and science (hence the 3DM Gear), so I tried to emulate that. Because of this, and also because Eren’s getting gender-studies from a 14 year old who lived out in the boonies his whole life, the chapter gets a bit cisnormative, but that will be fixed in later chapters once the wonderful Hanji arrives on the scene.
> 
> Warning: Levi has a potty mouth and should sit in the corner.

Levi frowns down at the reports in his hands.

Things have not been going well since the fall of Maria, and lately the Scouting Legion seems to be the ones in the deepest shit. On the one hand, they’re finally being taken seriously as a division--not just as the needless killers of loved ones--and the military is fast becoming an enticing, steady job for many of the refugees--sometimes the only job they can find.

On the other hand, however, people are more terrified of Titans than ever. False rumors about a Titan 300 meters tall, and Titans that could run with the speed of lightning, or single Titans leveling entire cities, devouring everyone in sight, are only too common. It’s proving very difficult to get terrified people to join a research division dedicated to getting as close as possible to the Titans.

In front of him, Erwin has a look of grim acceptance, visible in the pull of his mouth and the angle of his thick eyebrows. His hands slide up to clasp in front of his face, his weight resting heavy on his elbows.

"The same as usual, I suspect?"

Levi nods, handing the practically incriminating papers to the stern-faced man. "Low enlistment rate, high dropout rate, too many casualties, and no real significant outcomes." He feels like slicing something, but a quick glance around at the Spartan elegance of the office suggests it will have to wait until tonight's training. Maybe shitty-glasses will be up for a spar...

"And what of your...pet project?" The look on Erwin's face shows that he expects nothing new, but Levi knows his report is necessary all the same.

"Nothing, sir. It's nowhere to be found." He feels a twitch of irritation. Months-- _years!_ \--of sightings, and now it had just disappeared. Granted, they were many miles from its usual habitat, but that had never stopped it before, no matter how far from the walls they'd gotten. That doesn't make the sense of missed opportunity any less profound.

"I doubt this means you're giving up." One of these days Levi is going to get fed up with that omniscient tone and shove a sword up Erwin’s ass, but he could at least admit that the man wasn't wrong.

A smirk tugs at his lips. "Not a chance, sir. It's only a matter of time before I find it."

Only two people knew of his obsession with the Abnormal, and while Erwin remained mildly disapproving, Hanji gave him nothing but shit about it. A few months ago the shitty scientist even gifted him some blacklisted book about a fisherman and his obsession with a whale.

The book was terrible, but at least it was accurate.

The Berserker was his white whale.

And he would fucking find it. 

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the temperatures rise and the crops started to grow, and Eren is getting better and better at his human studies. He has more words than he'd ever thought possible rattling around in his head and is starting to grasp reading and writing. He's also much more aware of what is and isn't acceptable in human company.

For example, taking of his shirt while weeding the crops or relaxing in the sun? Perfectly acceptable. Taking off his trousers? The humans panic trying to get him to put them back on.

Some customs he still refuses to abide by, however, such as the foot coverings-- _shoes,_ he had learned they were called. They are uncomfortable and cumbersome, and after a lifetime of not being able to feel the earth beneath his feet and grass pushing between his toes, there’s no way he’s stopping now.

A definite plus to learning the new customs and words is that Mikasa and Armin seemed happier. Since they'd arrived in the farming village to work, it seemed like every time he had to ask for clarification on some apparently-banal human habit, his humans would give him a heartbroken look before hurrying to explain it. He still wonders what causes that look to spread over his friends' faces, but the one time he'd gotten the courage to ask, Armin had started asking probing questions about his past.

If there's one thing he's certain of, it's that no one here can know of his other form. Telling them the truth was out of the question, but he hadn't known enough about how humans actually lived before the fall of Maria to make up a convincing, so he'd just shaken his head and pretended not to understand the words.

He'd kept up with his bird-hunting ever since the first successful catch, and now he could confidently say that he had all but mastered the art. It was nice to hone the hunting skills that had gone so long unused. And if he is honest with himself, the necessity of it only made him better. Before, his hunting skills hadn't _needed_ to be good, his superior speed, strength, and intelligence more than made up for any stealth and patience he lacked.

Now, however, he and his humans rely on his ability to snatch a bird or two from their perches. The meaty supplement is doing wonders, too. Armin’s legs are almost completely healed of their bruises and what was apparently a sprained knee and ankle, and doesn’t need his walking sticks to move around anymore, and Carla too no longer smells of sickness. He had continued leaving morsels for her whenever he hunted, making sure to leave them on the windowsill instead of entering her den again, after what had happened the first time.

Mikasa and Armin hadn't been able to stop the laughter that had bubbled up their throats that night when he'd explained why he was covered in dirt with leaves in his hair, and he couldn't begrudge them their humor. He probably looked ridiculous. Besides, they'd wrapped him in a tight embrace after that, knowing full well it was something he loved. Having his arms filled with delicate, sweet-smelling humans was a feeling he'd never get tired of.

* * *

It's a day like any other when Eren receives another reminder of human fragility. He wipes the sweat from his brow with a hand aching from handling the small tools needed to keep the small crops from getting choked by weeds. Mikasa follows behind him with the water bucket, feeding the maturing plants and muttering about how poor the irrigation to this village’s crop-fields is.

He glances over to where Carla usually works, just to check up on her, but she isn't there.

He turns to the dark-haired human behind him. "Mikasa." He waits for his friend to turn to him. "Carla gone."

Mikasa looks around just as he had, before nodding. "She's probably with the doctor right now for a check-up." Eren is almost certain his face blossoms with worry, because Mikasa is quick to reassure him "No, no, she's probably fine. She's just pretty far along in the pregnancy. The baby should be coming out in a few months, so she needs to make sure she's healthy. Or else...you know." A soft, one-shoulder shrug accompanies the words.

Eren looks up at Mikasa's quiet tone with confusion and shakes his head. "No...not know. What 'or else'?"

The human frowns, adjusting its grip on the water pail. "Childbirth...that means, bringing the baby out of Carla's stomach..." Silvery eyes meet his for only a moment before returning to the water. "It's dangerous. Sometimes...sometimes the mothers don't make it."

He frowns at the confusing wording. "...Make what?"

"Some die, Eren." The words are hushed and gentle, but they send a chill down his spine nonetheless.

He doesn't want Carla to die. She is...nice. She always comes over during their work hours to thank him for the food he leaves her, and returns the cloth wrappings washed and folded. She also seems to understand how skittish he is around her, and makes her motions slower and her voice gentler than she does with the other humans. Eren isn't as simple as some of the villagers think. He notices things like that.

That alone has made him bolder, to the point where now they exchange a few words of pleasantries whenever Carla comes to thank him after hunting days before returning to work. Eren thinks it’s a big improvement from the first few times, in which he’d hidden behind Mikasa in the hopes that the female wouldn’t see him and attack him for invading her territory.

His chest feels tight at the thought of losing one of his humans--how long had he considered Carla one of his humans?—and he doesn't realize his eyes have begun to leak until Mikasa wipes the water away. "Hey, don't worry Eren. She's probably the healthiest person inside Rose right now, what with how much you feed her." The last bit is said lightly, as if to soften the seriousness of their conversation.

Eren looks up into silver eyes full of assurance. "So...food...help not die when..." he thinks back to the word Mikasa had used before, "Chial...barth?"

Mikasa nods and corrects him smoothly. "Childbirth. And...yes. I mean, if a person gets too hungry, they get sick easily. Sickness is usually what makes the whole thing dangerous. Does that make sense?"

Eren nods enthusiastically. "Carla need many food. I hunt more."

"Eren, you don't need to--"

"I hunt more." He interrupts before Mikasa can finish, looking at the human with a steely determination.

The dark-haired human smiles softly, running rough hands through his hair. "Okay."

* * *

It isn’t often that Armin has work when Eren and Mikasa don't, but here they are, Mikasa sitting on the top of a bench in the middle of the room while Armin wraps off-white bandages around the other’s hands and dabs ointment on the angry red blisters that had colonized the small hands.

"Why don't you ever seem to get them?" Mikasa scowls in Eren's direction, and he looks down at his hands. His healing ability doesn't even allow him to form callouses, so his hands are still mostly smooth. It isn't as swift in this form, but it’s still leagues ahead of an actual human's healing speed. While they do get sore and tender, he’s never formed any blisters. 

Instead of saying that, though, he shrugs. "Maybe you hold tool wrong." He easily catches the roll of cloth that's thrown at his head and Mikasa only scowls harder.

"Be careful with that, Mikasa! I have to wash it again if it touches the floor!" Armin scolds, snatching the gauze roll from Eren and tucking it away in a drawer.

"Don't pretend like you don't love this job, Armin." Mikasa teases, delivering a soft nudge to Armin's side with a bare foot--shoes miraculously removed for once.

Armin shrugged, idly fiddling with the bottles and boxes strewn across the countertop. "It's...not bad. I...like feeling useful. And this is a job I can actually do, you know?"

Mikasa smiles, nudging him again and this time wiggling tiny toes into the human's ribs, causing Armin to bat her foot away with a short laugh. "All smart-work, you mean." Armin colors and looks away, and Mikasa takes the opportunity to ruffle the blond hair. "I'm glad, though. Give's you a chance to actually use that big brain of yours instead of letting it go to waste."

Armin gently slaps the hand away, ears turning pink under the praise.

"How much big?" The humans turn to look at Eren when he speaks, and for a moment he worries that he's interrupted the moment between them. They don't seem upset, though, just mildly confused, so he clarifies. "You say Armin brain...more big. How much big? How it fit in head if big?"

Armin clarifies that it was just a common way to say that someone was intelligent, and Eren lets out a growling huff. He had been introduced to 'idiom' as Armin had called it, early in his language lessons and it never ceased to frustrate him. What was the whole point of having a language with _so many_ words in it if the words _never_ meant what they were _actually_ supposed to?

He looks away, and his eyes fall on a book, spread wide on the counter he's currently leaning against. One of the visible pages is filled with long, complex words that Eren can't decipher, but the other has an inked drawing of what he assumes to be a gravid-- _pregnant--_ female, shown from the side. The swell of her stomach was much more pronounced than Carla's, and he wonders how much more girth she would gain.

At first, he tucks it away as just another question to be left unanswered, but then he realizes he might actually be able to get some answers to his questions after all. Suddenly eager for the answers he's been craving, he picks the book up and rushes over to his humans.

"Armin I have question." It's not an uncommon phrase in their group, so Armin just glances up at him with a smile.

"What is it, Eren?"

He points at the female immortalized in the book. "How make baby?"

* * *

It takes a few moments for Eren's inquiry to really sink in, but when it does, Armin is sure his entire face becomes inflamed. His mouth opens and closes a few times, but no noise comes out. He turns to Mikasa, but her face is just as panicked.

"Um...well, you see..." Armin runs a hand over the back of his neck.

It's not like he didn't know what sex was--he was fourteen after all. Had they still been in Shiganshina, he and Mikasa would have been just shy of marrying age. He just never thought he'd have to explain it to someone. Especially someone older than him. He tries to remember the way it had been told to him, but it was so long ago...

"When a...a man and a woman...love each other very much..." he recites, before considering the words, "Well, actually, they don't have to love each other, just be attracted--"

"Armin!" Mikasa hisses, kicking him in the leg.

"Ow!" He rubs at the ache, and shoots a glare at Mikasa. "Do you want to explain it?"

"No. But do it right or you'll confuse him."

Eren just looks between them with mounting uncertainty, and Armin takes pity on him.

"To make a baby, men and women have to have s-sex. Which is...it's like kissing, but...um...more?" Armin is certain he's blushing bright red.

Eren gives a slow nod, but there's a frown etched into his face. "What is...all of them mean?"

"All?"

"Yes. Men and women and kissing. What do all mean?"

Armin just stares for a moment before turning back to Mikasa. She looks just as perplexed as him, and jumps down from the table.

"You don't know what men and women are?" She asks gently.

Eren shakes his head, and Armin feels a pang of sadness. The olive-skinned boy doesn't like to talk about his past, changing the subject every time it comes up, but moments like this only made Armin wish he knew more.

He shares a knowing glance with Mikasa before giving a short hum. "Well...kissing is easy, that's when people...put their lips together." Eren nods, seeming to understand. His expression is one of vindicated clarity, like he'd guessed a great mystery correctly. "And as for the others...well...people are sort of...put into _groups_. And...um."

Armin frowns. Describing the intricacies of gender was much harder than it seemed. After some deliberation, he decides to go with the simplest--albeit very flawed--version. "The ones who can have babies in their stomachs, like this--" he points at the drawing in the book "--are called women. And the others are called men."

Again, Eren's face brightens in understanding, and Armin goes on to explain the plurals and singulars of the words to him and introduces the boy to pronouns. He figures once Eren grasps the concept better, maybe he can work in some of the caveats to his simplistic definition.

After the short lesson, Eren seems much more confident about the subject. "Carla is...woman?" Armin nods, "And...Armin and Mikasa and me is...men?"

Mikasa lets out an affronted sound, and Armin waves his hands a bit, now flustered. "No-no, Eren, that's-- Mikasa's a girl-- I mean a woman, Mikasa is a woman. She's not a man"

Eren looks up at said woman with wide eyes. "What?"

Mikasa has a blush on her face, too, and she crosses her arms. "I'm a woman." 

He snatches the book from where it lay on the floor, jabbing a finger at the pregnant woman again. "This! This is...you?"

Mikasa huffs. "Hopefully not any time soon," she mumbles. "But yes. I'm like that woman." She levels a glare at him, as if daring the boy to object.

Eren frowns, looking at the book in his hands, appearing to all the world as one in deep contemplation.

Eventually he spoke up, his voice oddly muted. "But...you are... _kind_. You and Carla..." He looks Mikasa in the eye, and Armin can feel the weight in the words. "Women...I thought all... _not kind_. All...attack."

There's quiet in the room, and Mikasa looks just as helpless as Armin feels. "Eren..." He trails off, unsure of what to say. "Before you came to us..."

"No!" Eren stands up quickly, putting distance between them. "No before!"

Armin can't help but feel shocked as he stares at the boy's broad back. Eren had never outright denied to answer questions about his past, usually electing to switch topics or stay mute entirely. Sometimes Armin was certain he had deliberately misheard some of the questions to avoid answering them.

"Why...why always ask _before_? Don't want--talk about before!"

Armin can see the tension in his frame and the shaking of his clenched fists, and decides that maybe this time it's best that he let the subject drop.

"Alright Eren," He walks over slowly, knowing that startling Eren sometimes ended with a flailing limb colliding with a soon-to-be-tender face. He lays a gentle hand on Eren's back, hoping that it's a comforting pressure. "I won't ask about before anymore, okay? I promise." It takes him a while to catch the blue-green gaze, but when he does, they're guarded and serious. Armin doesn't see the wild, hapless emotion that usually swims in them.

Moments like these cement Armin's idea that Eren is genuinely intelligent and not simple at all, despite his difficulty with speaking and ignorance of the world.

"Would you like me to read you some of the anatomy book?" So far it was his favorite of the medical texts that littered the doctor's office. He would look at the drawings and sometimes pester Armin to read passages to him. Neither he nor Mikasa knew why it fascinated him so much, but sure enough, Eren sheds his dark, serious demeanor like an old coat--eyes sparkling with child-like wonder once again. He nods furiously and disappears into the back office to grab the stashed book. 

He catches Mikasa's eye, and she breathes a long sigh. "What happened to him?" 

He only wishes he knew.

* * *

_[13 years ago. Many, many miles away]_

_Annabelle shuts her eyes tightly and tucks the clipboard she was meant to be recording on tighter against her chest, trying and failing to ignore the tortured bellows coming from the creature before her._

_A hand closes on her shoulder and squeezes comfortingly, and she turns to see her husband Pierre with pained understanding swimming in his eyes._

_She swipes at the moisture gathering on her lashes, and gives a single, wet laugh. "I never thought I'd pity a Titan."_

_Pierre gives her a sad smile, and they turn back to the creature just in time to see it slump forward, exhausted. It trembles, shaky gasps of breath and the rattling of massive chains now the only sounds for many minutes before a_ _gruff voice tears through the pained noises._

_"I’m finished for today. Tighten its bonds and lock this place up.”_

_Anabelle turns to see the cruel doctor stripping his hands of gloves and flinches as the instrument he was using on the Titan just moments before clatters heavily to the table. She looks at the imprisoned subject, heavy heart making her hesitate for just a second._

_A second is apparently too long for the doctor, as he strides over to her and grasps the front of her coat in a tight fist, “I’m sorry, was I not clear?” he growls. She hears Pierre’s intake of breath behind her, and she knows that were it not for the mass of scar tissue that was his throat, he would have called her name in shock._

_“No! No, you were perfectly clear, sir.” She resists the urge to pull away, knowing it would do nothing for her cause._

_“Then you were deliberately resisting my orders?”_

_“No sir! I was just—” She stops, and he raises his eyebrows mockingly as if to say ‘Just what? Do go on’ and she mumbles out a revised answer, “I just had a moment of distraction, sir.”_

_"Hn. See that it doesn’t happen again.” He lets go of her shirt front, causing her to stumble slightly. “Just remember your debt to us. Olympus opened its arms and welcomed you. The least you can do is work off that debt.” He glances at the Titan. “Starting by helping me find out all I can about our most recent capture.” He turns back to her. “Now doesn’t that seem fair?”_

_She nods shakily. “Yes Dr. Grisha.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't end up fitting some things in this chapter, so they’ll be in the next one.
> 
> Again, so sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoyed it! I also really like how these longer chapters feel, so I might start doing longer ones more often. It will take longer between updates, though.
> 
> Your Kudos and Comments give me life! I love you all~


	7. New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start out by apologizing that this is so late. It was one thing after another over here on my end, but now my computer is fully operational and ready to go! As promised, this is the longest chapter I’ve ever written of anything. By about a thousand words x__x Thank you all for sticking with me anyway!! I hope you all like it! <3
> 
> Also, if anyone is curious about my headcanon for Titan eggs, it’s pretty much just like chikilidae eggs. Like [this one](http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/chikilidae_1.jpg) and [these](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Fe0o0dlR1DI/T0uNL2p5LVI/AAAAAAAALCc/QKk6YqzWmoY/s400/new-species-burrowing-caecilian-eggs_48947_600x450.jpg) (except obviously with Titans inside instead of little noodley babies.)

Eren is panicking.

Scratch that. Everyone is panicking. The humans are running back and forth frantically, there's shouting and screaming and the smell of blood and pain and distress.

Mikasa had instructed him to carry the fallen, screaming woman to the doctor, and Eren had been so grateful just to have some direction to follow, but the doctor isn't here and he doesn't know what to do. Humans are flitting around him like fish around a blockage in their stream—seeing him just enough to sidestep around him to complete some task or another without really acknowledging him or explaining anything. Bowls of water are passing hands, someone is lighting a fire under a heavy, black pot, someone is carrying in sheets and small pieces of cloth.

Eren doesn't know what to do. He feels helpless. The humans all seem to at least understand the situation but Eren doesn't understand and he _doesn't know what to do_.

Just then the door bursts open, slamming against the wall with a _bang_ , and the doctor comes through, panting for breath, Armin at his heels. "Carla!"

The injured woman lets out a scream followed by a whimper. "Hannes! It's here! It's com—ahh!" She curls up on the cot even more tightly, a forceful tremor racking her body as she grunts in pain.

Now the doctor is yelling, too, pointing at each person in turn and issuing them a job. Eren is instructed to lean Carla forward while another human stuffs pillows behind her, and he does so without hesitation. Armin had always told him that if there was an emergency, he should listen to what the doctor said, so he wasn't about to ignore the orders given to him now.

When Carla has been adjusted according to the doctor's instructions, he turns back to see the blond human sitting between her raised legs, murmuring soft things to her. Soon, another shriek rips through her as her whole body clenches and shudders again. "Hannes," she whimpers "Hannes, I need you up here, please I-" she gasps "I can't do this without you here, I need, I-" Her hands twist into the sheets below her so hard, Eren expects them to tear.

The doctor gives her a look of pained sympathy. "You can, darling. You can do this. I have to be down here, though. I have to make sure our baby comes out alright. Don't want him to fall out onto the floor do you?" He gives a shaky smile, his hand stroking one of her legs comfortingly, and Carla gives a hiccupping laugh.

Another shudder wracks her body, and this time, one of her hands darts out to grab Eren's in a vice-like grip. He flinches away in shock at first, but she just holds onto him and doesn't do anything further. Belatedly, he manages to puzzle out the doctor's meaning, the word _'baby'_ catching his attention, and he looks around at the chaos around them in a new light.

Carla is going to lay her clutch. Mikasa's words about the dangers of childbirth spring to his mind all at once, and it's all he can do not to start panicking again.

Hannes makes more assuring noises and "that's it, Carla"s, and it seems to help her, the death-grip on his hand relaxing a little. Without thinking, he squeezes her hand, a quiet warbling noise slipping from low in his throat, just loud enough for the shaking woman to hear.

Carla looks up at him, and he uses his free hand to swipe the hair out of her face. Slowly, so she doesn't startle, he leans his forehead against hers, cooing softly again. Her grip tightens in thanks for just a moment before relaxing—as much as the tremors allow, at least.

A throat being cleared draws his attention to the doctor, who has a lone eyebrow quirked and a smile pulling at the worried mask of his face. "Better not be getting any ideas up there, kiddo."

Eren frowns in confusion, but Carla lets out another laugh, strangled as it is by the next shudder that goes through her. "This— _ahnggh_ —this is Eren, dear."

The doctor's face lights in understanding, and though his attention is focused mostly on the writhing woman in front of him, he spares a long glance at Eren. "Ah, I've heard a lot about you, Eren. Carla says you've been making her dinner for the past few months." He looks up again, eyes serious. "Thank you."

Eren doesn't really know what to say to that, so he shrugs. "Armin cook. I only catch."

Hannes smiles again. "Armin's a good kid. He talks about you, too." He does something with his hands after Carla lets out another scream, digging her work-rough fingers into the meat of Eren's hand. "Speaking of..." he mutters, turning around "Armin! Get over here!"

The small blond stumbles over at his name, and warm water sloshes out of the bowl in his hands to darken his sleeves. His back is ramrod straight, but other than that, he seems calm under the stress.

"Ah! Perfect." The doctor grabs the bowl and one of the cloths from the table next to him and begins furiously scrubbing at his hands. He begins instructing some of the other humans, but another tremor wracks Carla's frame, so Eren returns his attention to her, resuming the soft cooing and running his fingers through her hair.

After what could have easily been an hour of this, Hannes calls out Carla's name. She gives a whimpering groan in response.

"You're going to have to push now, alright? Can you do that for me?" Carla nods, and grips Eren's hand harder (a feat he had thought impossible). He squeezes back when she lets out a throaty scream, her upper body rising off the bed with the force her full-bodied clench.

When it's done, she collapses against the bed, panting heavily, and Hannes gives her a breathless smile. "I can see his head, I can see our baby. You're doing so well. Just a few more to go."

It's a long time of watching Cara push and push and push before something apparently happens, and suddenly the humans are running around again, bringing water and cloths, and Carla is smiling and laying back against the cot, chest heaving.

He's about to say something comforting to her, when a shrill shrieking pierces the air. His hands fly up to cover his ears as he looks in the direction of the wailing, and it takes a full minute for his brain to compute the sight.

There's a small pink... _creature_ writhing in the doctor's arms, and the humans around him are wiping at it with wet cloths, removing some of the slime that coats it, and cutting at a... _tentacle?_ protruding from what looks to be its stomach. What was Hannes doing? What could possibly be more important right now than making sure Carla's clutch was lain safely? Where did that _thing_ come from? And _why_ is was making that _noise_?

He takes in a deep breath to scent the air, but all he can smell is blood and distress and human. The humans are jostling each other aside to try to get a look at the creature, and he looks back to Carla to see her smiling with a look of complete adoration on her face as she looks at it. None of the humans seem worried about it—just excited—so at least that means it shouldn't be dangerous...

The doctor lets out a relieved laugh, and turns to Carla with wet eyes and a wide grin splitting his face. "Carla, dear, would you like to hold her?"

"Her?" Hannes nods, still smiling, and she smiles weakly. "I told you it'd be a girl."

The doctor laughs, and pulls the creature to his chest. "Well if you don't want to hold her I guess I'll just..."

The woman on the bed stretches her arms out to receive the small thing. "You're horrible. Now give me my baby, Hannes. I just spent a hellish amount of time carrying her around, and I want to see what she looks like.

Eren watches as the shrieking mess passes hands gently, and blinks in confusion at the dopey looks of affection on both humans' faces. Carla had called the thing a 'baby', which unless he’s translating wrong means that that... _thing_ is a human hatchling, despite the fact that it's fully-skinned and doesn't have an egg. It’s also severely underdeveloped, and surprisingly docile for a hatchling. Titan hatchlings tend to devour anything in sight with rabid ferocity, striping flesh from bone in the space of seconds.

He thinks back to his own hatching. It was so long ago, but he remembers it clearly.

_Waking up disoriented by the light shining in through the dirt that used to cover them; tearing through the membrane of his egg only for a the smell of blood to flood in after it; standing up and looking around to see the legs of one of his clutchmates dangling from the mouth of one much bigger than it; the soft, pink eggs around and under them wriggling and tearing open; the din of a dozen clicking shrieks._

_The big one ignoring him while they both ripped and tore at their smaller clutchmates for no other reason than the raw instinct driving them to do so; the taste of them on his tongue; the two of them turning on each other once they had finished with the others._

Eren walked away that day as sole victor, the hatch-calls of his clutchmates silent behind him.

At least now he knows why the creature— _the human_ —was making that sound. It may be the only thing he _did_ know right now, but he knew it must have been a human hatch-call. It was definitely loud enough to be one.

He wonders if this is a standard clutch-laying for humans, or if this hatchling was simply defective. He never would have expected humans to have live-born offspring. It seemed so... _primitive._ Like an animal. He forgets sometimes that humans are not just tiny Titans. That their biology and behavior is much different, despite outward appearances.

Eren is shaken out of his reverie when his name is called. He looks up to see Carla beckoning him to come over, and he cautiously does so.

The hatchling squirms, but the hatch-call has gone silent, its mouth instead latched onto its own hand like it's the most delicious thing ever created. Eren has to agree on that point. It's been a very long time since he's tasted human, but he remembers that it was absolutely decadent.

"Very small." He says, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the bundle.

Carla nods with a smile. "Yes she is. She'll grow though." He watches her nuzzle the top of the hatchling's head, face bursting with affection and knows without having to ask that humans keep and raise their young like many of the animals outside the wall.

"What is name?" He asks, as he looks at the small creature gazing vaguely in his direction with unfocused blue eyes.

Hannes smiles, brushing his fingers along Carla's shoulder. "Well, we've got a few ideas, but nothing is set in stone, right Carla?"

Carla nods, and continues stroking the hatchling. "I'm not naming my baby Bertha," she says, not looking at the doctor.

"Bertha is a lovely name, and you know it."

"Not on your life."

Hannes grumbles, but his face is still light and relaxed. Eren watches them for a while, but soon his gaze is pulled back to the strange hatchling. It looks only vaguely human, but he trusts Carla's judgment that it would indeed become one. It's just so soft looking, so... _squishy._ He fights the overwhelming urge to touch it.

"What about you, kiddo? You like the name, right?" Eren looks up to see Hannes giving him a cocky grin.

He doesn't know much about humans name things, but the word doesn't exactly seem like it fit the small, blobby hatchling. He shakes his head minutely.

Carla chuckles from where she lays on the cot, "See?"

Hannes huffs, "Well let's see you come up with something better."

Eren blinks in surprise and looks down at the tiny human. He has no idea where he would even begin naming a human. He tries to think of the names he's heard before, but he can't remember most of them very well. What if there were rules on which names could be given to which humans? What if the humans didn't like the name? What if he accidentally mixes up a human word and offers the name "wheat" or something?

As he frets, a conversation he’d had recently with Mikasa nudges at his mind, and he smiles. It's perfect!

He wets his lips and looks up at the new parents. They're talking to each other—about the hatchling probably—so when he speaks, Carla apologizes and asks him to repeat himself.

"Maria." He says quietly.

The humans go still, and for a moment Eren wonders if he's said something horribly wrong. He hadn’t meant to upset them, it was just—

"It's perfect." Carla says, smile soft. She looks up to the blond at her side, and he nods in agreement.

Eren smiles in relief. He wants to stay with them longer, but soon Armin calls him over to help clean up the mess left after the chaos of Carla's delivery. Sheets and towels needed to be sorted and cleaned and the unused ones put away; dishes full of mucky water have to be washed and returned to their owners; and the bottles and books that had been knocked over in the rush have to be righted and put back where they belong.

It isn't hard work at all, but he keeps looking longingly over at the hatchling and its loving parents while he works.

Eren is carrying a stack of clean sheets to a cupboard when he looks over to see Hannes leaning down, pressing his lips to Carla's. She pushes her chin upwards to into the kiss, and Hannes reaches up to cradle the back of her head...

Only to be yanked away by a terrified Eren.

"No!" He yells, clapping both hands over the doctor's lips. "That's dangerous!"

Hannes blinks rapidly as he takes in the sudden change in position before giving Eren an incredulous look. He makes a noise that's muffled by Eren's hands, but Eren doesn't dare to remove them. "You do kiss, Carla get pregnant again." He says sternly.

Hannes stares at him blankly for a long time before his shoulders start to shake, and puffs of air begin to tickle Eren's palms. He pulls Eren's hands away to reveal a poorly hidden grin.

"Son...we need to have a talk."

* * *

 

Eren learns a lot that afternoon about human biology and mating habits, such as their strange courting rituals and their tendency to choose life-long mates. It seems as though humans really are like many of the animals outside the Walls. He thinks of the wolves and the swans that he'd seen when he wandered aimlessly in his youth. He'd thought it odd then, but to hear Hannes describe it, it almost sound...appealing 

The biological aspects were interesting as well, and the doctor gives him a look of mild disbelief when he explains to Eren that the fleshy bit between his legs was not just for urinating. It was fascinating the things that the human body could do.

They talk for quite a while before Hannes announces that he needs to tend to his mate and his new hatchling, and Eren holds himself back from asking to join him. It probably shows on his face, however, because the doctor gives him a small smile. "You know, we're thinking of having a nice dinner tomorrow to celebrate. If you wanted to, you could come over. Bring Armin and Mikasa, too."

Eren enthusiastically agrees, and Hannes grins before heading out.

As Eren walks towards home, he wonders if he'll have time to catch a bird or two to bring over. After all, according to Hannes, Carla is still eating for two.

* * *

 

It occurs to Eren that he might be a bit too obsessed with Maria. 

He takes any chance he can get to see the tiny hatchling, to the point where Armin comments that he never sees him anymore. After that particular conversation, he makes sure to spend more time with the blond, but he just can't help it! Maria is everything a Titan hatchling isn't and everything he didn't know he adored.

They had learned early on that Maria loved being held by Eren just as much as he loved holding her, and while Armin said it probably had to do with how ridiculously warm he ran, it still gave him a soft, buoyant feeling in his stomach to see the wailing infant slowly grow still and content in his arms.

Carla often foists the hatchling on him whenever she has exhausted all other options, and always looks affectionately exasperated whenever it works.

Right now, he has the tiny human tucked into the crook of his elbow while Carla and Hannes went about doing errands.

Maria is a great companion. She does not require him to use complex vocabulary and sentence formation or have in-depth knowledge of culturally-appropriate behavior. She is content just to wiggle, chew on things, and play with one of the strings at the neckline of his tunic.

The last part she's doing now. It's a simple game—grab, let go, grab, pull, let go, grab, chew on it, and so on.

It's so relaxing to shed the complex structure of humanity like this and go back to relying simply on instinct.

It was an odd feeling. He'd never been close with other Titans (an understatement) and most animals tended to avoid him because of his sheer size, and humans always seemed to require him to act like them before they would socialize with him. He loved his humans to the ocean and back, but his friendship with the hatchling was still a much easier one.

While he was in thought, Maria had found and repurposed his hand as a chew-toy, and Eren blinks down at her and trills in surprise.

The irony of a human chewing on a Titan is not lost on him, and he can feel a grin pulling at his face.

He pulls her closer to him and rests his cheek against her mop of fine blond hairs. Her scent is unique—milky and vulnerable—and he can detect the faintest hint of the other humans who've held her recently. The feeling of warmth and _family_ is strong as he holds her close. 

It's a good feeling.

* * *

 

It's official. The Scouting Legion is truly, unequivocally, desperate.

"Aw, cheer up Levi! We have an important mission to do!"

Levi levels a baleful glare at the scientist. "This isn't a fucking mission, it's a goddamn publicity stunt." He crosses his arms, careful not to tug on the reins in his hands too hard. "I'd be much more effective killing Titans than doing... _this_ _shit._ " He gives a vague gesture with the last two words that he hopes encompasses the entire situation and his derision of it.

Hanji snickers, turning around in their saddle to grin at him. "You make it sound _much_ more awful than it really is. It's just recruiting!"

Levi scoffs. "It's not _just_ recruiting. It's Erwin sending me out to shake dirty hands and kiss snotty babies instead of doing my actual fucking job."

Hanji just rolls their eyes. "As Humanity's Strongest, you are an inspiration to the people," They parrot, scrunching their eyebrows down to imitate the Commander. "And right now, the people need to be reminded just how important the Scouting Legion is, and the difference joining can make for Humanity." They can't keep the mirth from their voice, and Levi elects to ignore them so he doesn't end up throttling his only friend. Erwin obviously doesn't count as a friend; not after this stunt, at least.

"I'm no one's fucking show pony." He grumbles, urging his horse forward to escape the scientist's irritating laughter.

* * *

 

It's over a month before they reach the last podunk town on their itinerary, and Levi can't fucking wait to get the stupid routine over with.

It's still early in the day, so they go about setting up shop in what looks to be the middle of the village, unloading one of the wagons to work as a makeshift stage, polishing buttons and adjusting straps so that every soldier looked the epitome of orderliness and precision, and going over what to say to the rabble as if they haven't done this dozens of times already.

Levi looks up from his pristine uniform to see that they've already begun to form a crowd. The vast majority of the village is made up of farmers, and he can't help but see some potential in the well-defined muscles and work-strong hands. They'd be lucky to get a few of these people into the Scouts. Sure, most of them look a bit malnourished, but that could easily be fixed by the military's healthy rations.

Erd calls for attention, saying something warm and charismatic and completely scripted to draw people out of their homes on their day off. When the crowd is big enough, Levi heaves himself onto the wagon to begin his speech (written by Erwin of course) to the masses.

As he speaks, his eyes trail lazily through the crowd, assessing just how many people are falling for the stupidly sentimental words about justice and patriotism and making family proud. Some of the faces look cautiously hopeful, while others wear a mask of thick skepticism, and many of the rest just look exhausted.

One face stands out however, and when he sees the kid, he falters briefly in his speech. It was...unexpected to see such a look of delight and fascination on someone's face when confronted with members of the Scouting Legion trying to recruit people.

He continues on smoothly, but as he speaks, his gaze keeps finding its way to the olive skinned brat in the back of the crowd. Something about him seems...familiar. But he can't for the life of him figure out where he might have seen the kid.

It takes all of five minutes to figure it out, and this time his mouth clamps shut with the shock of memories flashing before his eyes. He pries his teeth apart and forces his tongue to keep forming words, but his mind is elsewhere throughout the rest of his speech.

_Chaos everywhere. Titans in a feeding frenzy all around him. Flesh slicing under his blades. Fear._

_The Titan Gunter had been using as a tether getting cut down by a Garrison Guard, sending him tumbling into a grounded soldier. Landing on a half-disintegrated Titan corpse to assess the situation. His surprise at the realization that what he'd thought to be a soldier was actually a civilian—a kid._

_Outside the Wall? How did he get here?_

_Asking the kid a question and getting a gabled..._ sound _in response. Sending Gunter to bring the kid back to the Wall._

That had been the last he’d seen of him. He’d almost forgotten about the incident.

It's easy to feel useless when fighting a war of attrition against an endless army of terrifying monsters, so he's happy to count this scruffy, barefoot kid as a win. After all, it isn't every day that he gets to see real evidence that they had actually made a difference on that fateful day, but here's this brat. Alive and kicking and smiling like a loon.

He wonders if the kid recognizes him from the battle or if it's just his amazing charisma and fantastic people skills putting the dumbass look on the brat's face.

When he's done with his amazing and inspirational bid for assistance, he steps down from the makeshift stage, allowing Erd to climb up after him to give the villagers actual information.

His eyes track straight to the brat in the back without his permission, and he startles a bit to see the kid still staring at him instead of listening to Erd.

 _The fuck are you looking at?_ He thinks, eyes narrowing.

The kid doesn't seem fazed, green eyes (or were they blue? too far to tell) wide and blinking owlishly at him.

After almost a full minute, the kid finally looks away, distracted by some broad next to him getting his attention and shoving an infant in his arms. Levi watches for a few seconds as the same wide-eyed look of delight is directed at the wriggling baby before he averts his eyes.

That wasn't incredibly uncomfortable or anything.

* * *

 

Eren can't believe his luck. His little one is _here!_ _Right here_ in the village! The human had been speaking, and while most of the words were big and hard to understand, the overall message was clear.

His little one needed help.

The tiny human had mentioned something called the Scouting Legion, and while Eren knows almost nothing about it, he could understand that it consisted of humans fighting back against the Titans.

He looks down at the hatchling in his arms. Maria was fussing, but she hadn't started actually crying yet. He holds her close to his chest, and watches her nuzzle into his inhumanly warm skin, spit-sticky hands grabbing at his tunic and his neck. Her eyes slip shut and Eren feels affection blossom in his chest.

Another emotion rears its head as well, and not just for the hatchling in his arms.

_Protectiveness._

The little one had spoken of the Scouting Legion as a precision offensive force, but also as defensive one, designed specifically for the task of protecting Humanity and defeating the Titans.

Eren's hands tighten slightly on the precious bundle in his arms. If the Titans could be defeated, his humans would be safe.

He thinks back to Olympus. He thinks of the chains around his wrists and neck falling to the ground with a deafening clatter as the two nice ones heave the wide doors to the warehouse open. Of the portcullis slamming shut behind him, metal teeth digging into the wooden base with the force of it. The sting of skin abrading as he stretches his arm through the metal grid to help the two humans who had freed him through as well. The humans who were just as much prisoners as he was.

They had just shaken their heads and motioned sadly at the seething mass of Titans behind him. Titans that were frantically fumbling at the gate and walls to get to the drug-like scent of the humans inside.

Before he could do anything to convince them to come with him, shouting from the building behind them had them bolting away. The mute one looked over its shoulder at him as it ran.

‘ _I owe you a debt_ ,’ he'd tried to project in his eyes and face. _‘And I swear on all I am to repay it.’_

The little one had said that they could defeat all of the Titans with enough help. If that happened, Armin could see the ocean and the fire mountains he spoke if with such awe. The nice ones could get away from the clutches of Olympus. Maria could grow up far from her namesake, in a place not ruled by the fear of impending annihilation.

Eren looks down at the sleeping hatchling in his arms, then at the crossed wings on the little one's flowing cape, and he makes a new promise.

 

 _‘I'll kill all the Titans._ ’


	8. Drastic Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was much harder to write than it should have been, but you all left such amazing comments, so I couldn't leave you hanging! :D  
> I hope you enjoy! <3

"No!" Armin shrieks, reaching out to grasp Eren's tunic as if he could physically hold him there forever, his friend's words ringing in his head.

_'Armin. I want join Scouting Legion.'_

He should have known better than to let impressionable, big-hearted Eren anywhere near those recruiters!

The olive-skinned boy frowns, reaching up to hold Armin's hands where they grip his shirt. "Yes. I join. I help."

Armin closes his eyes and resists the urge to sigh. _Of course he wants to help._ He thinks, _That's all he's done since the beginning._ "They have enough people to help." He says, striving for gentle, but knowing he probably sounds pleading. "You don't have to."

"I want to." He says, like it's that simple. Like he wasn't planning on signing up to get slaughtered.

"Eren, you don't understand, the Scouting Legion is dangerous! Titans are _monsters,_ Eren!"

Eren flinches. " _I know!"_ Blue-green eyes flash with anguish before hardening with a serious, dangerous glint. "Do not forget I were _there."_

And that stops Armin up short. Because Eren _was_ there that day. He had seen the soldiers and civilians disappearing into giant maws of blood-stained teeth. He had seen people getting crushed under uncaring feet and ripped from their homes by massive hands. All of this through the eyes of the same boy who had been terrified of a pregnant women. It must have been horrific, even more so than for the rest of them.

Armin wonders what Eren went through between the time the Titans attacked to when he appeared like a guardian angel to free Armin from his prison of rubble. Eren refuses to speak of that time, too.

Which obviously raises the question of why on earth he would want to face them again. Titans aren't some imaginary threat to him like they are for much of the population. They're real. They're the nightmares that haunt all three of them at night, alongside the memories of people they lost, and the sick feeling of relief that it wasn't them.

"Armin." He looks up at the soft murmur of his name. Eren's face is serious, but also pleading. "Let me help."

He hangs his head to avoid the imploring eyes. His eyes land on Eren's bare, dirty feet. They're soft and bereft of callous despite their constant abuse, and they turn inward slightly, giving him a vulnerable look. A fleeting though brings a small smile to his face, and he looks up at his friend.

"You know they won't let you in unless you wear the uniform. Including the boots."

Eren's face is priceless as it screws up in disgust. For a moment, Armin feels the brush of hope that he actually managed to dissuade him from sending himself off to his death. It dissipates when Eren shakes his head as if to clear it. "Don't care. I join. I wear boot."

Armin sighs and nods. "Fine. But you're telling Mikasa." Their farming contract wasn't over until the harvest. Hopefully that will give him enough time to convince Eren to forget about the Scouting Legion.

_Please don't be stubborn about this, Eren._

* * *

Mikasa is not as quick to acquiesce as Armin had been. Eren flinches when she yells at him, demanding to know who had put the thoughts in his head. She calls him reckless and misguided and lacking self-preservation, and tells him about the times she saw the Scouts coming back decimated, giving back severed limbs and scraps of cloth to the family members of deceased soldiers. The problem of living in a gate-town, she says, was seeing every squad leave and see only a handful return, always with the same haunted, defeated look in their eyes. 

It's enough to make Eren feel guilty about his decision, but not enough to change his mind about it. This is something he has to do.

Her rage and desperation are palpable, no matter how misplaced. He wishes he could reassure her, but he can't, not really. It's not as if he can tell them that he's more dangerous than any Titan they had seen before.

He's pretty sure he could take any Crius or Coeus Titan, even in his human form. After all, he knows of weaknesses that even Olympus isn’t aware of despite a decade of testing and experimentation on him. And on the off chance they met a Hyperion, there was only one he wasn't sure he could beat in a one-on-one fight.

The Female Hyperion. She’s a vicious variable, but the probability that they would meet is slim. Now that she had gorged herself on humans from within Wall Maria, she would most likely go out in search of another human nest to crack open. Female Titans were incredibly nomadic, and only ever settled down when they were gravid.

The Female Hyperion was probably far away by now.

"Eren are you even _listening_ to me?"

"Yes, Mikasa. Scouting Legion dangerous. I know this before. I still join." It's like they'd forgotten that he had been there alongside them when they witnessed the Titans firsthand.

"Eren, you—"

"I are not stupid, Mikasa." he says quietly, and he watches her pause in her tirade.

"I don't think that, Eren."

"You do. You say I are simple. Not simple. Just not speak like you. Not know some things you do. Does not mean I not understand what is dangerous. I know Titans dangerous. Hu—People dangerous too. You know more than others." He gives her a look that he hopes speaks for him, and she looks away.

After Hannes had explained about human kin groups, he had asked where his friends' family was. Mikasa had sat him down and told him about the ones who had killed her parents, about being taken in by Armin and his mother's father until a plague swept through the city and claimed him and Mikasa and Armin were left on their own. Those humans were dangerous. He thinks about the scientist from Olympus who tore him apart over and over and _over_ again just to see if severed limbs grew back faster than flayed skin or ruptured organs; or if fire had a more detrimental effect than corrosive acids; or...

He thinks of his little one, whirling like a bladed typhoon to slice cleanly through a Titan's nape before the behemoth could even react to the sound of whirring gears.

Yes, humans could be dangerous, too.

"After harvest. I join."

Mikasa looks at him intently, and crosses her arms. "Then I'm joining too."

He and Armin immediately begin to protest, but she holds up a hand for them to be silent. "Any argument you make against me going can just as easily be made against you."— _Except that I'm a fifteen meter Hyperion Class Titan and you are not_ —"So whatever you have to say, I'm not hearing it." She looks at the wall for a moment before refocusing her gaze back on him. "Someone's got to protect you out there."

The room is quiet while Eren thinks of a way to tell her just how little protection he actually needs, when Armin speaks up, hands clenched at his sides.

"If you both are joining, I am too. Don't give me that look!" He lifts his chin high and stares at them both in turn. "I'm not going to sit by as you both get yourselves killed, so either all three of us go, or no one goes!"

Eren scowls. How could he protect them if they went with him? If they put themselves into danger right alongside him? Why couldn't they understand that his goal was to protect his humans, not endanger them more?

He will just have to convince them to stay while he went.

"Then...we go after harvest."

He had time, he would convince them.

* * *

It becomes a battle. 

Mikasa, Armin, and Eren all trying to get the others to stay behind, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much.

* * *

"Oh, this crow is delicious, Eren. I'm going to miss this a lot when you're too busy training to hunt."

"You hurt from too hard work. Soldier is much hard work."

"Maria looks so happy, doesn't she? She loves you so much Eren, what would she do without you?"

"This is from walking into a shelf? Armin you bruise so easily, you should make sure to take care of yourself more. I can’t even imagine what the military would do to you."

"You not come with me. I go alone."

"Eren, Mikasa and Armin tell me you're thinking of doing something very dangerous, and I'm concerned. Carla is out of her mind with worry and as your semi father-figure, it's my duty to talk you out of it."

"You know, you'll have to take orders from people who will treat you like dirt, and if you talk back to them, they'll send you back."

"Eren, please don't do this, please, you're like a son to me. I can't lose you like that."

"I make you deal. If you enough strong to lift me, you come. If not, you do not. It is a good deal. You should take deal."

"You know, you'll miss Maria's first birthday....You don't know what a birthday is?"

* * *

Eren fumes. This was not going to plan. Armin and Mikasa were much better at twisting words to guilt him and get him to feel even worse about leaving. They had even told Carla and Hannes. That...wasn't fair. Carla had been calling on him to watch Maria more frequently than ever, and it makes Eren's chest tight to think of leaving the soft little hatchling nuzzled against his chest.

Looking at her, however, he is reminded of how important it is that he does go. He could be a great asset just as much because of his knowledge of Titans as his physical strength and heightened senses. He could help defeat the Titans once and for all.

But still, he wavers in his conviction at every gurgle and cough, at every sticky grip on one of his fingers. Fulfilling his promise is not going to be as easy as he’d thought. 

* * *

Levi grips the edge of his desk so hard he can feel each individual grain digging into his palm. His hand shakes with the force of it—no...

His whole body shakes.

He can’t tell if it’s anger or horror—or maybe it’s betrayal—making him tremble like a leaf, but the papers in his hands are shaking so hard he can barely continue reading them. He doesn't need to. It’s all bullshit anyway.

Levi wastes no time storming out of his office, tearing the door open and letting it slam into the wall. He passes by many people on his way, but no one bothers him. He knows most of them have gotten somewhat used to his naturally stern face, but now it's probably apocalyptic. And for good reason. He thinks of the words he just read, made even more putrid because of the thick layer of bureaucracy and lies coating them.

How many years has he worked for this shitstain of a government, and he’s never seen something so awful, so blatantly tyrannical. It should be laughable that the people running this place are more criminal them the _actual_ criminals he used to work for. This is no laughing matter.

He throws the door to Erwin's office open, and growls at the young soldier speaking with the Commander to leave. The kid gives a hurried salute and bolts. Levi doesn't have time for the brat, though. He slams the report down on Erwin's desk.

"What the _fuck_ is this?"

The look on Erwin’s face says that he expected no less from him, but there was also a tired resignation there. He glances down at the papers.  “If I’m to assume you’ve read it, then you know exactly what it is.” Levi’s glare turns even sharper and Erwin lets out a deep sigh. The man looks worn thin. _It’s probably guilt,_ he thinks, _good._ “Levi. You must know that I tried to change their minds.”

Levi scoffs gracelessly. “Apparently not hard enough.”

“There’s nothing any of us can do except prepare.”

“For a mass culling of the undesirables?” He sneers

“For reclaiming Wall Maria.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp there it is. The purge is coming up, and Levi is not happy about it. Also, overprotective squishy humans ^^
> 
> Your comments are literally the best things in the world and I am blown away by the feedback you've given me! :D


	9. Olympus Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the part where I grovel and ask for your forgiveness for letting an entire month pass before I posted the next chapter. It was a hectic month for me with finals and then the holidays and I kept trying to peck away at this chapter but even when I could find the time, I would get such horrible writer's block. I'm trash and I'm sorry T^T Hopefully the fact that this is the longest chapter yet will make up for it.
> 
> This entire chapter takes place in the past, so I hope it answers a lot of the questions you all have been asking. I actually really like how this chapter turned out, which is a great feeling because it was so hard to write. 
> 
> Possible Triggers: Captivity of and torture/experimentation on a main character (Eren)

He snarls as the cruel human leader presses something through the skin of his shoulder for the third time. The human seems frustrated that his flesh has decided to regenerate more quickly today, as it seems to be interfering with the human's experiment. It’s not as though he’s doing it on purpose, of course -- unlike the Female he hasn’t mastered the ability to command his own regeneration - but even if he could communicate with the human, he wouldn’t tell it that it’s because the sun is so bright today.

It streams through the openings in the large warehouse that he has been chained in for what seems like forever, slicing through the air and cutting sharp shadows into the red brick walls. He sighs at the feeling of it on his face, warm and invigorating. His stomach has long since given up the idea that it will ever hold a meal again, and he can no longer feel it clenching and wailing as it steps aside to allow nourishment from the sun to take its place.

In the beginning - even before the two new ones came- the cruel one had fed him dead humans. They tasted wrong and different every time, and some made his stomach hurt. He soon realized that the human had been adding things to the flesh before feeding him. By the time he’d noticed what was happening, however, the human had seemed to have tired of that activity, and had gone on to different studies. Now, years later, he can’t even remember what food tastes like. However, the undeniable scent of _human_ all around him is a constant reminder of the feeling.

When the human removes whatever implement it had decided on this time from the meat of his shoulder, he expects it to be shoved back in like it had been earlier. Instead, he feels a soft twinge of pain at the back of his neck, and his whole body stiffens. His weak spot. His instincts scream at him to thrash in his binds and dislodge the danger, but he furiously quells it.

To move a single inch could be the death of him.

Every new twinge of pain sends a cold wave of dread slithering down his spine, and he grits his teeth in frustration.

The pain stops for a while, and he knows from past experience that the human is simply poking around inside of whatever opening it made, and pressing a small stick against a thin slat of wood. He doesn’t ever expect to understand the motivations that drive the irksome little pest to do what it does.

Then the pain returns, and he can’t help the tremors that wrack his body now as the human delves deeper and deeper into his nape. It _hurts._ Soon it becomes impossible to sit still, and he thrashes once, twice, ruining the careful precision that had been guiding the instrument. Through his frenzy, he feels the blade slice deep into his weak spot and _carve_ sideways, gutting his nape open. He hears a shout from the human and he thinks the blade is pulled out, because he hears it clatter against the metal table.

Out of his periphery, he sees the two subordinate humans come running into view, but his vision is flickering with black spots, and his body jerks in its binds with cadaveric spasms as a strange feeling of numbness engulfs his senses.

The realization hits him hard. He’s…dying. It was bound to happen sometime, but to be felled by a human wielding nothing but a knife and a wooden slat was so… _disappointing_.

He had always hoped he’d die by the sea. It was sentimental, but the beautiful, glimmering waves and crisp scent had always enraptured him. He guesses it just…wasn’t meant to be.

His vision begins to turn, the lights above him becoming impossibly bright – almost otherworldly – while everything around them plummets into darkness, sounds begin to muffle and the scents around him dim. His eyes stretch wide despite how blinding the lights have become and he struggles to close them, just barely succeeding.

His nape throbs, pulsing with a strange itching sensation as he feels himself slip away from his own body…

And crash to the ground with fire pulsing through his veins.

He hears himself scream, and his throat feels…odd. His whole _body_ feels odd. There are _sensations_ he doesn’t know how to interpret, his mind overwhelmed with the information flooding in from his body as he flails about, limbs somehow free from their shackles after _years_ of being bound in the same position.

The faces of the humans appear above him, seeming impossibly large.

He screams again at the burning searing over his skin, the same odd feeling shaking through his throat, and the confusing feeling pressing into his body as the humans grab ahold of him, hands even bigger than his own somehow.

While he’s still overwhelmed by the influx of new information, the humans move him, hefting him like he weighs nothing, and at the new change in direction, he can see…himself. His massive body hangs limp, slumped over in its chains as ash falls from steaming, disintegrating flesh.

The sight makes him freeze, and he doesn’t fight back as the humans move him. He’s lost in his own mind, coming up with countless questions that he doesn’t know how to answer.

* * *

They put him somewhere…cold. The sensation is foreign to him, but some part of him - some part buried in instinct - recognizes what it is. 

He doesn’t like it.

The sun doesn’t reach here. There are no openings in the walls to let in the life-giving light, and he cries out in despair at the realization.

When he had gotten over the initial shock and sensory overload, he had attempted to leave through the large open side of the room, only to discover that the entire wall was made out of some strange, transparent material. It reminds him of a sheet of ice, but he’s never seen ice in such large amounts this far away from the fields of snow. That same, quiet voice of raw instinct whispers that it’s too warm be ice. He vaguely recognizes the material from the abandoned, derelict human cities that littered the world, but he’d never seen any that were so clear before.

He spends a long time running his hands over it and marveling at the texture of it under his palms. He does the same to the floor and the walls and his own skin and his hair - had anything else been in his new prison, he would have run his hands along it as well to explore his new sensations.

The rest of his time is spent either pacing or sleeping. The lack of sunlight makes him drowsy - as if he’s been stuck in a perpetual night - and he spends more time sleeping than he ever has before.

The humans flutter around outside, and he can see them through the clear wall. He likes to think that they’re as confused about his situation as he is. Maybe they will actually help him this time.

* * *

They put a dead human in his new cage.

It had a faint tantalizing scent of human, but that was mostly diminished by the smell of sickness and decay. This human had been dead for too long to trigger the primal urge to devour it, and so he had kept his distance from it just in case the cruel one had poisoned the flesh again.

That was days ago.

His body feels weak. The absence of sunlight is draining him of all of his energy, and he can barely bring himself to move.

He's slowly starving. His stomach has woken up from its dormant state, and it woke up angry. His hunger is vicious, as if he swallowed a creature that is ferociously trying to claw its way out.

He looks to the human corpse. The stench has turned even more over the few days it's been sitting there, and he knows nothing good will come of it. Even if it isn't poisoned, he won’t be able to digest it. It would just come back up in preservative slime for a female to find.

But it would quiet the pains in his stomach for a little while at least.

He crawls to the offering, limbs shaking from exhaustion. Through the window, he can see figures scrambling suddenly. He doesn't have to look to know that they’re pressing their sticks to their wooden slats. They love to do that whenever he does anything, no matter how uninteresting.

With trembling hands he begins tearing off morsels and shoving them in his mouth, trying not to let the decaying flesh touch his tongue. 

When his stomach has stopped its distraught clenching, he wipes his wet hands on the outfit they had dressed him in and crawls back to his corner, content to enjoy the respite for as long as it lasts.

* * *

It can't be more than an hour later that he's heaving the human bits back up in the middle of the floor. He'd tried to make it to the other corner at least, but he hadn't had the strength or speed necessary to do so. His body tremors as he retches.

The humans are fluttering about in his periphery again.

The pain comes back steadily, but he's distracted from that by the overwhelming wave of sickness that comes from being so close to his pellet. The scent is cloying and nauseating and makes him want to run in the opposite direction as quickly as possible. Male Titans were naturally repelled for miles by the pellets, and he's trapped in a small room with one.

His head spins with the force of everything. The last thing he remembers before the hunger and exhaustion catch up with him, is pressing himself as far from the offending stench as possible.

* * *

When he wakes from his unconscious state, the pellet has been removed. They hadn't been able to completely clean out the stench, but it’s noticeably different. 

He looks to where the dead human had lain, and notices that it has been exchanged with a new one. The stale scent of decay is similar, but this one doesn't have the sour smell of sickness accompanying it, so at least there's that. It still isn't helpful for solving the issue of his hunger, though.

The rest of the day goes by without much happening, but for a while he manages to catch one of the humans’ gaze. It's the biggest of the leader's two subordinates, and the human looks wary as it stares back.

After a long, indeterminate length of time--all lengths of time are indeterminate in this wretched place--during which the human has grown steadily more uncomfortable-looking, the other, smaller human walks into his line of sight. Their impromptu staring match is over as the two begin communicating to one another. The big human jerks its chin at him after a few moments, and the other follows its gesture, startling a bit at his glare.

He can see the shudder roll through the smaller one's body before it turns away, and feels a glimmer of predatory satisfaction. He may be caged, weak from hunger, and at the mercy of creatures much smaller and less powerful than him at the moment, but the humans still recognize him as a threat. It's enough to make him preen. 

The slighter human hands the larger one something and makes its quiet little human vocalizations for a bit. He's just about to set his head down to rest, uninterested in human interactions, when he sees the large human bring the object to its mouth. Saliva leaks out from under his tongue as he watches the human _bite_ and _chew_. Adrenaline is probably to blame for the fact that he has no recollection of crossing the small room, but in a split second, he's slamming into the transparent material that makes up the face of his cell, causing the humans jerk violently and whirl around.

They stare at him in unmasked fear and confusion, hands firmly settled at the weapons at their hips as he slides down the wall in exhaustion.

Clouds of white blur his vision as his breath fogs on the warm-ice wall, and his palms press firmly against the hard smoothness of his prison. His gaze locks firmly on the object that had previously resided in the human's hands--now laying abandoned on the table-- and his ears burn with the meek crooning that escapes him.

The smaller one is shouting, but he pays it no mind. He doesn't know what humans eat, but it most likely isn't other humans and that's good enough to fill his belly. The large one feels around for something on the table, never breaking eye-contact with him. When the human finds what it was looking for --a wooden slat and a stick; he should have known-- it steps forward. The small one protests, grabbing hold of the folds of cloth that humans wrap themselves in, and attempting to pull it away from him.

The large human brushes off its companion's concern and comes closer, pressing its stick against the slat as it crouches down to meet his eye level. It taps softly on the warm-ice wall (as if it didn't already have his attention) and tilts its head curiously.

This time, he is the one to break their stare first, glancing at the object behind the human -- abandoned on the table -- removing one hand from where it was pressed against the transparent wall to paw at his mouth. He whines again, and he sees the human's eyes widen a fraction, brow furrowing.

The human points at the carcass in his cell with its stick, tapping the wall again for good measure.

It doesn't understand. How can he make it understand? He wracks his brain for some way to make it understand, when a memory whispers against his mind.

_The leader was removing his toes. (Pain! Why?) It barks unidentifiable sounds at the new subordinates, hand outstretched. The smallest one hesitates, picking up one of the instruments laid out on the table beside it. The cruel one shakes its head side to side, growling out more human sounds. The small human picks up another twisted metal thing -- another side to side shake. Another tool, the human is shaking now. This time the leader jerks it head up and down, and the implement is brought to its hand. The leader uses it to peel his skin. (No! Stop!)_

The memory fades with a shudder.

He doesn't know exactly what the gestures mean, but he hopes he can use them. The first one -- side to side -- _'I don't want this?'_ or maybe _'This is the wrong one?'_ It doesn't matter. Either will work.

He looks into the human's eyes, catching its attention, and oscillates his head back and forth.

* * *

It had taken almost a week for the Titan....thing....to crawl to the corpse they'd placed in the cell and begin feeding. They'd all been a bit shocked that it hadn't happened earlier -- Pierre especially. He'd never seen a Titan _not_ eat a human if possible. He wondered if it had something to do with the strange form it had taken.

It hadn't taken long before the human-like captive had retched up a Titan pellet in the middle of the room. Dr. Grisha had been pleased, as the waiting had made him impatient and irritated, and had ordered them to collect it for testing as soon as possible, but not before noting the odd behavior of the Titan. It had clambered as far from the sticky mess as possible, feet scrambling against the floor as if to press itself _through_ the wall to get away from the refuse.

Pierre had gotten Anabelle's attention, gesturing to the corpse in the Titan's cage and sticking his hands out -- one palm up, the other down -- and flipping them over before pressing one middle finger to his head and the other to his abdomen. _'He died from sickness.'_ The hand-signs said. She'd nodded. "Dr. Grisha, sir," she'd asked softly, "We were wondering if maybe the reason it didn't want to eat was because that man had died of an illness. Do you...want us to explore that further?"

Sharp eyes narrowing had been their only answer for too long while he and Annabelle held their breath. Finally, the doctor nodded, a brisk "Do what you will." thrown over his retreating shoulder, and the room suddenly had an extra two lungfuls of breath dispersed within it.

It had taken a chillingly short amount of time for their request of an illness-free corpse to be granted, and a victim of a cave-in shipped to the doctor's above-ground office.

For a city named after a mountain, a surprising amount of it was actually buried beneath the earth in anthill-like tunnels. Only the crop fields, the coal plants, and the massive research centers were left un-submerged -- the fields and plants for obvious reasons, and Dr. Grisha's domain for the safety of the citizens below. It wouldn't do for an accident to take place that led to a Titan running loose in the tunnels, causing cave-ins and terrorizing trapped citizens.

Movement from the Titan cell draws him out of his thoughts, and he looks over only to find a hard blue-green stare cutting into him. The Titan is laying down with a tired grace – the epitome of lounging predator.

Pierre stiffens at the intelligence swimming in the human-like eyes, and he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. Guilt chews at his heart the longer he looks at what he would have called a child had he not known better. When his control slips and his heart crawls up to where his brain generally sits, he imagines that the Titan probably looks around nine or ten years old in this form. But the predatory glare boring into him - _has it blinked even once?_ \- has a much older feel to it. There’s too much awareness in that gaze for either a small child or the dumb creature he’d thought all Titans to be.

Sometimes he wants to scream at the immorality of keeping a child locked up, but other times - times like this - he’s reminded just how deceiving appearances can be. A mantra of _'It's a Titan, not a little kid’_ repeats itself helpfully in his head as the cold, unblinking stare sears though the creature’s cherubic face.

It's unnerving.

The chair beneath him creaks as Pierre shuffles disconcertedly again.

“Pierre.” He turns to see Annabelle stepping through the door that leads to the upper levels, a soft smile on her face as she holds up a plate with two hastily-made sandwiches. “I brought lunch.”

He smiles, tapping his index finger just below his eye, before touching a snap to his lips with an exaggerated motion. _‘It looks delicious.’_ He gets a swat to the arm and an accusatory “Flatterer” for that.

“Anything interesting happen while I was gone?” She asks, sitting down at the table while she glances over his notes. He jerks his chin towards the Titan cell and sees her stiffen when she turns and catches sight of the boy-like creature with the eyes of a predator. She shudders. “How long has it been doing that?”

He traps the tip of his thumb under his index finger next to his chin and slides it away while rearranging his fingers into a ring and then trails his fingertips up his arm. _‘Too long.’_

She makes a quiet hum and turns her back to the Titan. “Well, at least we have something to tell Dr. Grisha when he comes down.” She frowns at the thought before shaking it off. “On a lighter note…” Annabelle holds out his lunch, and he accepts it gratefully. She winces when it starts to fall apart in his hands “One of these days, I’ll learn to cook like you.”

Pierre weighs his hands like scales with a smirk, _‘Maybe’_ , and gets a playful nudge in the leg.

The atmosphere is genial, and for a second, Pierre thinks nothing eventful will happen for the rest of the day. The thought dissipates the second he takes his first bite.

A sudden, heavy _thud_ from the Titan cell sends them both scrambling into alertness, hands going for weapons, meal forgotten. The Titan, which had been almost entirely dormant ever since taking its strange new form had slammed itself bodily against the glass, eyes wild and fixed in their direction as it collapses to its knees. Condensation clings to the glass by its mouth as it releases a forlorn whine.

“What happened?” Annabelle glances at him, only removing her eyes from the Titan for a moment to read his reaction. “Did you see what happened?” He shakes his head, grabbing for his clipboard to record the abnormal behavior. He attempts to walk closer to get a better look at it, but Annabelle snatches his sleeve to halt him. “What are you doing? You know we’re not supposed to get so close while it’s awake! What if it breaks through?” He shakes his head again and holds his hand out in a reassuring gesture before removing his arm from her grip.

The Titan is still on its knees, so he crouches down to get a better look at it, recording everything that he sees on his clipboard. The creature hasn’t moved since hurling itself against the pane, so he taps on the glass, hoping to elicit a reaction from it. He can hear the quiet, distressed noise his wife makes behind him at the provocation.

Something behind him draws the Titan’s attention. Pierre glances back for just a moment but all he sees is the empty table they’d been sitting at.

The once-giant lowers a hand from the glass to rub at its mouth, making that warbling cry again. It’s a surprisingly intelligent gesture - almost canine - and it gives him pause. A Titan shouldn’t be capable of that level of communication.

Was it…hungry? It had only moved when he’d started to eat-No. Impossible. Titans didn’t actually need food - they didn’t even have a digestive system. They never bothered anything but humans. It was one of the great mysteries surrounding the beasts. Besides, there was food in the cell. He gestures at the corpse with his pen, tapping the glass to call the creature’s attention to it.

The Titan’s eyes narrow, and it stares at him for a moment before it starts to move its head. No, not move…it _shakes its head_ …in response to his unspoken question.

His clipboard and pen clatter to the floor as Pierre jerks back.

 _Impossible_.

He turns around, looking to Annabelle as if to verify what he just saw. Her eyes are wide, mouth parted in shock as she looks at the Titan.

“That…That shouldn’t be possible.” She looks at Pierre. ”It must be a fluke.”

He nods, looking back to the Titan. There was one sure way to tell, of course. He dusts himself of as he stands, (not that he needs to, Dr. Grisha is very strict about cleanliness in the lab) and retrieves his forgotten lunch from the table behind him, ignoring the warning look from his partner.

Slowly, he brings it forward, setting the plate outside the cell and watching as the Titan follows it down, scrabbling at the glass and concrete in a furious attempt to get to the morsel. When it becomes apparent that there was no getting to the piece of food, the Titan stops its attempt, looking up to growl at him.

He isn’t deterred, though. He points at the food, looking into the creature’s eyes pointedly. The Titan seems to catch his meaning after many moments of simply staring at him, as it slowly nods its head up and down. Curious, Pierre points to himself, and receives the same negative answer he did the first time. He doesn’t know if he should feel offended or grateful that the Titan doesn’t want to eat him.

Lips thinning with the realization that there was a Titan - _or more. Oh please don’t be more_ \- that had genuine intelligence, he turns to his wife. He could see the same thought running through her head. Suddenly Humanity’s chance of actually _beating_ the Titans had gotten even smaller.

With a surprisingly steady hand, he reaches out and pinches - as if picking something up - and then taps four fingers to his inner wrist. _‘Go find the Doctor.'_  

* * *

When the small parcel of human food is dropped into his prison through a small door in the wall, he wastes no time cramming it into his mouth and swallowing it, ignoring the watchful gaze of the leader human and its subordinates in his periphery. With no time spared for chewing or actually tasting what he’s ingesting, he focuses on the blissful feeling of something solid being cradled in the hollow of his belly.

It’s not enough to erase the malnourishment that clings to him, but he knows it will help the immediate problem. When he turns to look at the humans, he finds himself pinned under the weight of the leader’s piercing stare.

The look in the human’s eyes is triumphant and the hairs on his neck bristle at the dark look. He meets the gaze with a glare of his own, and the air seems to fizzle with the kind of tension that only rears its head when two predators circle each other.

* * *

"You mean..." Annabelle shares a look of dread with her husband before turning back to Dr. Grisha "there are _more_ like this?"

The doctor nods, satisfaction at the new find lending him extra patience. "From what I gather, they’re incredibly rare. In my entire career, I’ve only ever heard of three aside from the one here.” His eyes narrow at the memories.

“The first one I ever encountered was when I was apprenticing for the last doctor here. The Titan had the unique ability to fluoresce, which made it intriguing to say the least. It would glow bright enough to make looking at it highly uncomfortable for anyone unfortunate enough to be standing too close. At first we thought that was the only interesting thing about it, but…” he smiles, slowly and unpleasantly “It had _intelligence_. Your feeble minds cannot fully comprehend the importance of that discovery, but I assure you it was a marvel of science. We learned so much from that creature.”

He frowns, and Anabelle can see irritation skitter across his frame. “We had been attempting to remove its spine when we accidentally tore its weak spot.” He looks at the small Titan’s cell with an expression of amused resentment on his face. “Nothing so interesting as a humanoid creature falling out happened that time. We simply lost our most valuable experiment.” He visibly pushes down his irritation. “After that, the only contact I was able to get was from the soldiers. Twice now, excursion forces have come back decimated, saying that one of the Titans they encountered had begun to _strategize._ I interrogated every single soldier, and I’ve decided that they were telling the truth.”

The doctor rubs a hand over his sparse facial hair. “My predecessor was of the opinion that these intelligent Titans possessed… _abilities,_ and I have seen enough to agree with him. The one we caught fluoresced, and -- if the stories are to be believed -- there was one that could harden parts of its body into diamond-like crystals, and another that could sprout sharp quills from its body instantaneously.” Again, he looks to their current specimen. “And it seems as though this one has the uncanny ability to turn _humanoid_.”

Annabelle can almost see the gears clicking away behind his eyes, forming new experiments and tests “My old mentor named these abnormalities _Hyperions,_ after one of the twelve titan children of Earth and the Sky, and proposed that they should reside in their own class all together, separate from both the Crius and Coeus classes. Further study will tell us if this is an appropriate proposal. I intend to leave no stone unturned when it comes to this creature.”

He looks at them then, and she can see the unspoken warning in his eyes. _‘If you ruin this specimen in any way, I will_ _ruin_ _you.’_

* * *

The next time he wakes up, there is a deer corpse sprawled out where the dead human had lain previously. He tears into it ravenously, crooning delightedly at the taste of delicious food. The meat isn’t warm, but it’s _fresh_ and it’s _filling_ and it makes him want to cry with happiness.

When his body no longer feels as if it's trying to cannibalize itself stomach first, he turns to the humans looking on, and dips his head in thanks.

Maybe he would survive this place after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sign Language is a very visual language, and is not easily transferred into text, so I apologize if it's clunky at all. I used American Sign Language in this fic because that's the only one I know (I only took a semester of it. I'm not fluent)
> 
> You all are absolutely amazing. You're the best cheerleaders ever and this fic would not have actually gotten done without you guys. I wish I could give a big hug to all of you, especially those of you who reviewed and left kudos. You're fantastic <3
> 
> As always, my lovelies: Stay awesome! You people make my day!


	10. Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this?? An update???
> 
> A word of warning to anyone pursuing a career in medicine: The human body is one of the most complex structures you will ever see and even as an undergrad, you have to memorize. everything. about. it. My brain is shorting out on me and this semester just started. T^T This is why I've been AWOL, in case you're wondering. Sorry about that! 
> 
> I was going to wait until I'd actually answered all of the comments from the last chapter (I have seen them, and I love them, I promise! I've just been swamped) but I decided I've kept you waiting long enough.
> 
> But I digress. Here we go! The ball is rolling! This chapter is sort of a mix between 'calm before the storm' and 'everyone you know is panicking and buying non-perishables and toilet paper before the storm'. So...Enjoy :D

The decree is posted in the center of town while everyone is at work. A few lines on a simple, unassuming piece of paper. Armin looks at it with trepidation.

_ATTENTION_

_Previous Residents of Wall Maria are hereby required_  
_to register with the Selective Service Order for the_  
_possibility to join the Effort to Reclaim Wall  
_ _Maria at the end of this year._

_Those under the age of 15, cripples, women currently with_  
_child or with weaning children, active duty military, military_  
_recruits, persons in essential government positions, and_  
_citizens with permanent residence within Wall Rose or_  
_Sina for a minimum of 2 years prior to the Fall of  
_ _Wall Maria, will not be required to register._

Armin's frown deepens. According to the paper, he and Mikasa aren’t required to join this Effort, but Eren…well he doesn't actually know how old Eren is, but he probably wouldn't be able to pass for fourteen anymore. He had filled out very well from the year or so of hard labor. He turns to Hannes, who is rereading the paper with a closed expression.

The look Hannes gives him is grim. "You're probably going to want to keep Eren busy tonight, Armin."

Armin looks at him. "Are you going to call a town meeting?"

Hannes gives a small, weak smile. "Unless the rest of the town suddenly became literate without my knowledge, yes."

He nods. Not many of the citizens were as proficient with reading and writing as the doctor, so it fell on his and a few others’ shoulders to explain the posted words. Armin counts himself lucky that his grandfather was able to teach him before he died. It was a privilege that not many in the outer walls had.

"You don't want Eren to know, do you?" He asks, looking up at the man.

Hannes shakes his head. "Not yet. He's still hell-bent on joining the Survey Corps for goddess’ sake, who knows what he'll do if he finds out about this. Kid would probably volunteer even if he _didn't_ get drafted."

Armin nods grimly in agreement. Eren hasn’t shown the best self-preservation instincts in the time they've known him. “He won’t like it if we keep this from him.”

“I know. Just…wait a few days? I want to make sure we break it to him gently. No sense in upsetting him.” Hannes says.

Despite disliking the idea of lying to Eren, Armin has to agree with that. "Alright. But I'm telling Mikasa tonight…" he says trailing off when he sees it. His brow crumples in thought as he looks at the paper. It seems as though there’s a rather obvious loophole; it could just be a simple matter of… "Hey Hannes…"

“What’s going on in that devious little head of yours, Armin?” He asks, a hint of warning in his tone.

"It says that recruits don't have to go."

He doesn't need to explain further before Hannes’s face shows his displeasure with the idea. “I thought the plan was to convince Eren _not_ to join the Survey Corps.”

Armin shakes his head “This changes things. If he doesn’t join, he’ll be required to join _this_.” He gestures at the foreboding slip of paper. “If they’re really leaving at the end of the year, then that means whoever’s running it plans on giving the draftees practically nothing in the way of training.” He presses his lips together in a hard line. “They'll be slaughtered. If Eren is adamant about leaving to kill Titans, I'd rather he train as a recruit for two years before he does."

Hannes is quiet for a long while before he gives a reluctant grunt that Armin takes as assent.

"It would work for you, too you know." Armin says quietly, taking advantage of the silence.

The man gives him an incredulous look. "I'm a doctor, kiddo, not a soldier." He gives a huff. "I can't even imagine myself as one."

"I can." He shrugs at the look Hannes gives him—the suspicious squint of a man that doesn’t know if he’s just been insulted. "You're a good man. You would do whatever you could to protect the people you care about." He looks to the ground, scraping at the dry earth with his boot. "My grandfather told me once that a true soldier doesn't fight because he hates who's in front of him, but because he loves who's behind him. I think that sounds a lot like you." He looks up to see the man who has become like a father to him flush at the praise.

"No need to get all sentimental, kid." He grumbles. "You'll ruin my tough-guy reputation."

"You don't have a tough-guy reputation." He gets a light jab to the shoulder for that.

After a while, they start walking back to the doctor's house, discussing ideas on how to break the news to the rest of the village, before the conversation eventually turns back around. "You really think I should join the military?"

Armin nods. "You could join the Garrison. I think you would be good for it. Besides, they might need someone with medical experience."

Hannes hums in agreement. "I'll talk with Carla about it."

"Of course." He looks off in the direction of the fields where Mikasa and Eren are working as they pass. "Just…remember that if you don't, you're at risk of being drafted into this reclamation effort. I don't want Maria to grow up like I did." His lips thin as they press tight. "My grandfather used to tell me that my parents loved me to Sina and back when they were alive, but when I was younger I still used to resent them for leaving me."

Hannes goes quiet again. "What happened?"

Armin shrugs. It doesn't bother him as much anymore. He must have been four or five when they left, so he doesn't remember much of them. Just warmth and soft voices and vague memories. His grandfather had kept a portrait of them on the mantle, so he knows what they had looked like. That picture, he realizes with a sense of mute grief, is probably crushed under rubble now. "They were researchers. They went outside the Walls to study the world out there and one day they didn’t come back. My grandfather raised me after that."

When he looks to the doctor, the man has a grim look on his face. "I'm sorry." He pauses "Was your grandfather…did he not get out during the Fall?"

Armin shakes his head. "No it wasn't that. He was gone before then." He swallows thickly. "Fleshrot."

Hannes shudders at the mention of the plague. "Goddess, Armin. I'm sorry." The Fleshrot was a gruesome way to go. He turns his face to the ground, but his eyes are shut, unseeing. "My first wife…she got it, too."

Armin looks up at that. He didn't know the man had married before. "Is that why you became a doctor?"

Hannes nods. "Not that it did much good. We still haven't found a cure for it."

"You helped me.” He says quietly. It’s true, too. When he and the others had come here, the wounds on his legs had already begun to swell and burn. Without the doctor’s skill, the infection would likely have spread and taken hold of his fail body.

They had reached the door then, and Hannes fiddles with the key before he answers with a small smile. "Well, I guess it wasn’t too bad of a decision, then."

* * *

Eren pushes his fingers through the tall grass that flows over the hill and sighs pleasantly. He’d been surprised when Armin suggested they go for a walk just after they came home, but despite the chilly air of the evening, it’s been nice. They’d eventually come to rest on one of the hills just outside the village, and Eren had all too happily kicked off his shoes (he’s been getting more used to the hateful things, but they still made for an unpleasant experience) and collapsed on his stomach in the downy vegetation.

Mikasa and Armin are sat next to him, chatting idly, and he takes the opportunity to roll over and look at the sky. It’s streaked with the purples and pinks of the setting sun and Eren can’t help but enjoy the sight. It doesn’t quite compare to the majesty of watching the sun sink into the sea - when the light of the sky reflects on the waves and shines back in an achingly beautiful array of colors - but it's stunning all the same.

They stay outside until long after dusk, and the walk home is lit by a gentle half-moon. It reminds him a bit of his days in his Titan form, when he would often wander aimlessly, with no actual destination in mind and no set time to be there.

It’s nice.

When they get back to the village, Eren makes a beeline for Maria because he hasn’t seen her all day, which is completely unacceptable. The small hatchling has indeed gotten bigger since her hatching just like Carla said, but she still fits perfectly in his arms. Not now, of course, because she’s sleeping soundly in her nest as he talks softly with Carla. She’ll wake up soon, hungry and fussing until something is done about it, and Eren is content to wait. When she finally does, Carla is quick to feed her. She strokes her downy hair and kisses the soft dimples at the top of her head, before handing her to an eager Eren, who soothes her back to sleep with soft coos and wordless murmurs.

Armin seems anxious to get home however, so Eren settles the hatchling back into her nest, and they leave earlier than he would have liked.

He had asked what was bothering him, but the little blond human had evaded his questions, and Eren didn't push. Armin seemed to need time to think things over whenever he was upset about something, and most of the time he’d eventually find a way to fix whatever he was hung up on. He would tell them when he was ready, and by then everything would probably be okay.

* * *

Levi generally walks around in a constant state of disgust and disenchantment with the world as a whole, but today something’s gotten pretty deep under his thick skin.

“What happened to me being a shining fucking beacon of hope?” He growls, hands planted firmly on Erwin’s desk.

Erwin looks resigned again, and it’s fucking annoying. “We’re trying to limit the number of soldiers we’re sending out. Especially decorated officers like you.”

“Yeah that’s great and all, save your own asses all you want," he gets an eye-twitch for that, "but I’m going.”

“This won’t be like any excursion you’ve ever been on." The Commander says seriously. "There will be people all around you who haven’t been trained in the same maneuvers as you have been. Who don't know their weapons as familiarly as you. Think of what it would do to morale if you were to fall in combat because a civilian didn’t follow orders correctly, or didn’t know how to safely execute a tactical blade-change.”

Levi leans forward, bringing them eye to eye. “Either you send me out, or I go out anyway. This isn’t a discussion.”

Erwin sighs - gusty, resigned sighs of course being the commander’s forte - and pulls open a drawer of his vast, oak monstrosity of a desk, taking out a slip of paper. With a mild glare in Levi's direction, he plucks a pen from his desk and signs the bottom with a flourish, depositing the paper on top of a rather large stack of similar forms. “It’s done.”

Levi narrows his eyes suspiciously at the paper, and then at its officiary. “You had that filled out for me already.”

“I only ever had the faintest hope of holding you back.” He gives a quick, wan smile - really just a stretching of lips. “Now go. Have a list of things to organize that’s taller than you.”

The soldier takes a moment to decide whether or not that was a jab at his height before brushing it off. Even if Erwin did suddenly cultivate a sense of humor, he’s one of the only people Levi would actually let get away with it anyway. With nothing left to say, he thumps a fist over his heart in a practiced salute, feet snapping together and shoulders going rigid in easy coordination. Erwin nods his dismissal, and Levi is out the door feeling strangely satisfied.

Erwin didn’t generally inspire that feeling in people.

* * *

Mikasa fiddles with the coarse blanket underneath her.

It's been a week since Armin told her about the decree, and they'd all agreed that it was time to tell Eren. They've gathered in Carla and Hannes' house, hoping that the presence of Maria might soften any negative reactions Eren might have to the news.

At the moment, he sits on the floor with Maria in front of him, her back braced firmly against his front so that she can play with a small wooden horse without slumping over. He coos at her in his special way, and she babbles back, banging the toy against his shin with a gummy smile.

"Eren?" Carla asks, drawing his attention. His smile is blissfully ignorant of the conversation that's about to take place, and Mikasa wishes they didn't have to erase it. "Eren, something has…happened. With the military."

It doesn't take long for Eren to register the mood in the room and when he does, the smile fades from his face. Say what you will about the boy, but he's very adept at reading body language when he wants to be. "What happen?"

Carla looks to Hannes, who sighs uncomfortably. "The government is going to send a lot of people outside the wall in a few months. They're telling people that they're headed to Wall Maria." Eren perks up at that, but Hannes lifts a hand to stop him from saying anything. "But it's a trick. They don't want to reclaim the Wall, they want…they want people to die."

This time, it's Armin that takes over. "The outer wall had a lot of farmland and a lot of people. When Wall Maria fell, we lost the ability to feed a lot of people." He stops to make sure Eren understands. "Right now, we're living off of the last few years' food store. There are food cellars in Rose and Sina that are filled with grain and dried meats for just this purpose, but…" he looks at his hands, "they won't last. They're probably almost empty now, and this years' harvest won't be enough to feed everyone." Mikasa doesn't envy Armin for being the one to tell this to Eren. "So they're sending some of the refugees from Maria outside the walls so that they don't take all of the food."

The room is silent as everyone waits for Eren's reaction. He doesn't disappoint.

It's been a long time since Eren has actually _growled_ , but he doesn't seem to have forgotten how to do it. It's a low snarl that catches wetly in his throat. Maria stills at the sound of it, and she drops her wooden toy to the floor with a clatter when Eren snatches her up into his arms. "They try." He snarls, clutching the infant closer to him with a furious expression.

Armin is on the floor next to him in a second, "No! Eren! Hey, it's okay, they wouldn't send Maria. Or Carla or me or Mikasa for that matter." He waits until Eren has gone quiet before continuing. "But they'll probably want to send you and Hannes."

Eren frowns at that, and Hannes takes this as his cue. "Joining the military means we don't have to go. So…when you join after harvest," he gives Eren a stern look that says 'and you _are_ joining after harvest', "I'm joining with you."

Eren takes a moment to let everything sink in, and Mikasa is relieved to see his tight hold on Maria loosen. "How many?” He asks Armin, who shrugs helplessly.

"I don't know. But it's going to be a lot." He frowns "If it's going to be effective, I'd say they'd need to…they'd need at least a hundred thousand people to leave. Maybe twice that."

Eren stares blankly at him, and eventually tips his head to the side. When she realizes what's wrong, Mikasa gets Armin's attention. "You haven't taught him that high yet, Armin."

"Oh." Because doesn't that just drive the number in even more profoundly. He bites his lip "Well then…a lot of people."

Eren nods slowly. He looks to Hannes. "And military…safe?"

The doctor makes a face "Not safe, but… _safer._ "

"And you all come?" He looks around at them all, but Carla shakes her head.

"Maria and I will be staying home."

Eren nods again, stroking the top of Maria's head. Her toy was out of her reach, so she was chewing on her fist instead, and seemed content to sit there and be pet.

"Okay." He says, focusing his attention on the child in his arms. "We go together."

And the finality in his voice says that the conversation is over.

* * *

Hanji raps a few times on the door for appearances’ sake before barging in without anything close to permission. Not that Levi would ever deny them entry. As much as the eccentric scientist annoys the shit out of him, they’re his best friend.

“Levi! I heard the news!” They screech, throwing their arms around him and squeezing until—goddessdamnit—his feet lift off the ground. “I can’t believe you’re _leaving_ me!” The edge of their goggles dig into his scalp as they press their face to the top of his head, and he winces.

“Put me down, shithead, before I make you regret it.” He growls, unable to put as much steel in his voice as he would like.

Hanji releases him - and he’s going to ignore just how far down he drops, thank you very much - but their hands clamp onto his shoulders, and suddenly there’s watery, glass-shielded eyes peering into his. “I thought we were going to hold the fort together and help train recruits together and have sleepovers and you were going to help me with my experiments and I was going to help you get the stick out of your butt, and-”

“ _Hanji!”_ He snaps “Breathe.” They obey, bottom lip trembling, and fat tears lingering in the corners of their eyes. “You can’t honestly believe that anything other than being swallowed by a Titan would keep me from going on this mission.”

The scientist huffs, “I know, but Erwin promised he’d try, and you usually listen to him.”

Well okay, that’s true, but it doesn’t mean he never makes his own decisions. Despite his flaws (because who _doesn’t_ have a few of those?) Erwin is a good commander. He treats his position of power with the respect it deserves and does the same to the people under it. On top of that, he has good instincts and a sharp, strategic mind. Most of the time Levi would have to be either an idiot or an anarchist to _not_ listen to him. “Not this time.” He doesn’t exactly have the cleanest record, but at least he can still sleep at night. He’s not itching for that to change any time soon.

He can see Hanji contemplating a sulk, but they apparently decide against it. They slink to the doorway with a huff, but turn around before they actually leave. They jab a finger in his direction, “You’re bringing me back a present. At _least_ ten meters.”

He smirks and thumps a fist against his chest in mock-salute, which earns him an immaturely stuck-out tongue, which he definitely doesn’t consider returning.

* * *

The night breeze whispers across the grassy plain as the female scours a furrow into the earth with her skinless fingers. It rustles the trees and bushes and startles an owl or two from their perches, but it doesn’t affect her pace. She works tirelessly, scraping at the soil until it’s crusted deep beneath her fingernails. Her mates stand on the lookout for any possible threat, fragile cargo held firmly in their arms, making sure nothing interrupts them.

When she is satisfied with the size of the trench and the small dimple at the bottom, she holds out an expectant hand. One of her mates - the armor plated one - carefully hands her a soft, precious egg, and she presses it into the earth with the reverence it deserves and gently brushes damp soil over the top of it.

She climbs out of the trench with only a small bit of difficulty, looking back at the disturbed ground with a satisfied growl. One down, and - a glance at the delicate piles in her mates’ arms - twelve to go. A primal part of her brain whimpers that she should burry the eggs together, but she furiously shoves it down. No. They will hatch alone. None would harm her brood, not even each other. They will be caught in the trenches until their bloodthirst fades, and unlike every other dam to ever lay a brood, she will come back for them.

She will nurture them.

She will train them.

And when they have been perfected, they will die for her.

Her army will raze the human cities. They will defend her territory from any who would oppose her. And they will kill any she despises. Although those are sparser than one might imagine. There have been few that she has _truly_ loathed in her long lifetime.

Like the Heretic. The barbaric one who dared to devour her children. The one who was _pathetically_ obsessed with the humans.

The thought of the little parasites leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. Humans are not _interesting_. They are not _worthy_ of such dutiful attention. They are _broodmeat_ and nothing more.

It’s a pity that the Heretic could not be convinced to join her. He would have made a suitable mate and surely sired strong hatchlings. Not to say that she didn’t relish tearing through his nape with her teeth, because she absolutely did. She only regrets the wasted potential.

With a nod to her mates, she treads lightly to the next planned spot to dig and proceeds to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armin, you optomistic thing. It's actually 250,000 people.
> 
> I promise I love you all and I love writing this, but unfortunately post-secondary education is an ever-consuming void of time. I've gone from updating once a week to once a month, which makes me sad because I love writing. But at least the chapters are longer when they eventually come out, right? 
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and commenting. And to my regulars: Y'all keep this story going, I swear. *hugs every single one of you*


	11. The Strength of an Army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone ask for a chapter that's almost twice as long as the longest chapter so far?? No?? Well have it anyway!
> 
> I hope everyone is proud of me. I did math for this chapter. 
> 
> I could ramble on and on about this chapter, but I'm just going to let you all read it, instead ;D Enjoy!

It's been a long time since Eren's been in a crowd.

He doesn't like it any better now than he did then. His humans are with him, their makeshift family huddled against the throng, and Maria squirming in the cage of his arms. The city is unfamiliar to him, and the strange smells and sounds irritate his senses and make his hackles rise. They had traveled two days to get here, and the congestion of people reminds him all too vividly of the port-city they'd found themselves in after the Fall.

Armin pulls them through, murmuring apologies to everyone person he pushes aside, and eventually they get to the main office. There is a long line of people spilling out of it into the street, and it takes them an hour or so to finally make it to the front. There are signs and flyers with bright colors calling attention to the Effort to Reclaim Wall Maria, as well as recruitment information – 'propaganda', Armin calls it' – for the military.

Finally, they reach the desk at the front and a slender, harried human turns to Hannes with an exhausted expression. "Military or Wall Maria?"

"Military." Hannes says, the word spilling from him with the same amount of irritation as it always has.

The human gestures to a door through the back before turning its attention to the humans behind them. The door leads to a courtyard where another human – this one stocky and broad – stands with a clipboard and a stern expression.

"I need names and ages." It barks at them. "Today!"

Armin quickly gives his information, and the human jots it down on the paper before gesturing towards a waiting wagon. It already has a few people in it looking just as nervous as them. He scurries over to it, but doesn't climb inside yet, waiting for the rest of them. Mikasa does the same, and Carla lifts Maria out of Eren's hands so that he can do so as well.

But when he speaks, the human doesn't write anything.

Instead, it looks at him suspiciously. "Say that again." It orders.

"I-I am Eren. I am fifteen year old." He repeats, looking nervously at his humans, not understanding what he said wrong.

"Thought as much." The human snorts and points back at the door they came through. "Get out of here, kid. Military doesn't take simple folk."

As much as he wants to bristle at the term, he recognizes the problem this causes. If he can't get into the military, he will be sent to die outside the Walls, and though he knows _he_ would survive out there, his humans wouldn't let him go alone.

He sees Armin throw a hand out to stop a furious Mikasa. "Sir!" Ah, so the human is male. It's so very hard to tell. They smell the same, so Eren doesn't know how humans manage to tell them apart. "Please. He's not simple. It's just a speech impediment. The military has no rules against that."

The human's face shows no change. "I know simple when I see it.” He turns back to Eren, “Either get out, or I'll _toss_ you out, boy."

Eren looks back to Armin with a pleading expression. Armin could probably talk his way out of cannon fire, so he should be able to convince this human to let him go with them.

"Please, sir. Trust me. The military will want him." He glances at Eren, and then back at the man. He has his thinking face on. "He's strong. I mean really strong. The military needs that, right?"

The human gives him a disbelieving once-over. "Doesn't look like it from here."

"Eren." He looks to Armin obediently. "Come here." He does so, very aware of the eyes on him as he approaches the wagon. It's okay. Armin knows how to fix everything. "Lift this." He says, nodding at the cart.

Alright, this wasn’t exactly what he was expecting, but…

He shrugs, grabbing hold of the side and one of the wheels. With a heave, he tilts it – upsetting the humans inside if the shouts are any indication – and quickly gets under it, planting his shoulder against the base. It takes a bit of maneuvering, and his head cranks uncomfortably to the side, but eventually he manages to raise it off the ground with a grunt. His legs shake a bit as he extends them, it's been a long time since he's exerted himself to this extent. Not since Shiganshina, actually.

Even with his strength that far surpasses that of a human, it isn't an easy feat. There's a crick forming in his neck, and his arms burn, but he ignores it in favor of concentrating on the weight on his shoulder. After all, if he drops it, not only will he not be allowed in the military, but the humans inside might get hurt.

From this angle, he can see Carla and Hannes. The shock on their faces remind him that they have never seen him do such a thing before. Only Armin and Mikasa were there when he lifted the beam off of Armin back in the destroyed human city. He feels embarrassed for some reason as they look at him, so he turns his eyes to the human with the clipboard.

He looks as though someone has just kicked him in the stomach, which gives Eren a small bit of satisfaction. "I put down now?" He asks Armin.

"Yes!" Shouts a nervous tenor from above them before Armin can answer. "Yes, you can definitely put down now!"

"Shut up, Connie!"  Another voice whispers urgently. "You'll make him drop it!" He waits until Armin nods at him, before carefully lowering the wooden contraption to the ground and settling it back onto its wheels. He crawls out from under it when he's done, and brushes the dirt from his tunic.

 The man with the clipboard seems to have gotten over his shock for the most part when Eren approaches him. "Eric, you said it was?"

"Eren." He corrects. "Fifteen"

The human nods, marking the information down on the parchment before him, and gesturing to the righted wagon. Eren is grinning when he gets to it, and Armin gives him a small, relieved smile. Mikasa's expression could more accurately be described as a _smirk_ , but she seems happy, too.

He's about to let relief flood him at an obstacle overcome, when he hears a commotion behind them.

"Sorry. This time no exceptions." The human is saying to Hannes. "Anyone over 25 years go to the Ukon district for training. Old dogs, new tricks and all that."

Hannes frowns. "How far away are the training camps?" He asks, and the man shrugs.

"Day's ride or so." He says, clipboard still pointing like a flag at another wagon on the other side of the courtyard.

Hannes and Carla look at each other and share a solemn nod. "Let me say goodbye to my kids, then." Hannes says to the man, turning from him without waiting for an answer.

"Be quick about it." He grunts. "I was just about to hitch ‘em up and send ‘em off."

When they reach the cart, Carla immediately lifts Maria up to Eren. He takes her for a moment, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her soft head, before giving her back. As much as he wants to take her with him, he knows he can't.

Hannes sets his bag on the ground and rummages through it until he finds a relatively thick book. When he holds it out for Armin, Eren recognizes it as one of his medical texts. "Don't forget what I've taught you, kiddo," he says. "It might come in handy." He turns to Eren and Mikasa then, "And you two...don't start any fights, you hear? And listen to Armin."

Their goodbyes are painfully brief, and soon Eren is watching them as the wagon pulls away.

Armin puts a hand on his shoulder. "We'll see them soon." He says quietly. "You heard what the man said, they'll only be a day's ride away."

Eren gives a slow nod. He knows this. But he doesn't like having his humans so far away from him, where he can't protect them.

* * *

They're on the road for quite a while before Eren's mood starts to pick up, and Armin can't help but feel relieved. Eren's emotions tend to be both strong and contagious, and the air between them all seems to lighten when he does.

It's not long before idle chatter starts up among the soon-to-be recruits.

Franz, the biggest of the three, was the one to first start the introductions, and the rest of them gratefully chime in.

"I'm Sasha Braus." Says the girl, a tall brunette with a sunny attitude. "You ah...you wouldn't happen to have any food on you by any chance? It’s just that we've been travelling for a while.... "

"Um, no. Sorry" Armin says, feeling a bit guilty about the hot meal they had eaten earlier that day, courtesy of Eren.

The girl sighs, but the amount of levity in it suggests that she expected that answer. "That's alright, they'll probably have something to eat at the camp when we get there." Her eyes glaze over a bit as she says it.

"If they know what's good for them, they'll hide everything once they see you coming," the boy next to her snickers. His head is shaved, and Armin thinks the boy might actually be shorter than him. He turns to look at them. "I'm Connie, by the way. Connie Springer." His face splits into an arrogant grin. "You'll probably be hearing my name a lot in the near future, since I'm going to be graduating at the top of our class."

Mikasa lifts an eyebrow at that. "Is that so?"

Connie nods confidently. "Oh yeah! I hear you have to be the best of the best in order to get into the Military Police, and I'm not letting a bunch of rookies and jocks take my spot." His eyes narrow as he looks at the shiftily. "So don't be gettin' any ideas."

Before Armin can say anything, Eren pipes up for the first time since boarding the carriage. "We go to Survey Corps." He says.

Everyone turns to look at him, and after a moment of silence, Connie throws his head back and lets out a loud, barking laughter. "Oh come on.” He tells them breathlessly, “Pull the other leg!" Armin quickly grabs Eren's hand – which had already started reaching for the other boy – and gives a small shake of his head.

"He's not joking." Mikasa says evenly, making Connie slowly stop grinning. "We're going to join the Survey Corps."

The bald boy sputters for a second, looking at the others and then back to them. "No one actually _wants_ to join the Survey Corps. What the hell is wrong with you?" A dark frown settles on Eren's face, bordering on a scowl, and the boy pales, looking away nervously. "I mean – not that I think there _is_ something wrong with – y'know – it's actually, uh, really noble and all...and uh...y'know someone’s gotta do it, right?" He laughs nervously, and doesn't protest when Sasha clamps a hand on his mouth.

"Don't mind him," She says, pulling him against her side. "If I've learned anything these past few days it's that his brain-to-mouth filter is nonexistant."

Eren's face clouds with suspicion, and he leans over to Armin to whisper, "There is not really filter, is there?"

Armin shakes his head, and Eren smiles, his chest swelling with obvious pride. Eren often has a hard time with turn of phrase, so it never fails to lift his spirit when he identifies one without assistance.

The conversation picks back up after that, and before they know it, the driver is pulling on the horse's reins, murmuring a quiet "Woah, girl." He turns back to the rest of them and tells them to stretch their legs a bit while he waters his mount.

Armin is glad for the chance to stretch his cramped joints, and the others seem to feel the same. He looks around, trying to gauge where they are, but all he sees is grass and a small village in the distance. It reminds him of the fields within Maria where he and Mikasa used to go to collect firewood sometimes, and he feels a pang of nostalgia.

When they pile back into the cart for the next leg of their journey, it's unsurprisingly Connie who brings it up. "So what's the deal with you, anyway?" He's looking at Eren when he says it, but he looks over at Armin when he receives a shrug in response. "What's the deal with him?"

"We're...not actually sure." He says honestly, sharing a look with Mikasa. "When Wall Maria was breached and everyone was trying to evacuate, he sort of just...found us. He saved my life." He smiles at Eren, who is suddenly very interested in a loose thread poking out of his tunic. "We got sent to the same work camp out in the croplands, so he's been with us ever since, but...he doesn't like talking about anything before then."

Franz is the one to speak up then, breaking his previous reticence. "You're from Maria?"

Armin nods, unsure if he should elaborate. The name of their hometown had become a source of grief for all of humanity. He swallows thickly. "Shiganshina."

The creaking of the cart and the rhythmic _clip-clop_ of the horse are the only sounds for many long seconds. The others' shock is palpable, and it's no surprise when Connie curses under his breath and frowns. "Well now I really don't get it." He looks at them like they're a different species entirely. "You guys should be the last ones to want to join the Survey, shouldn't you?"

Armin and Mikasa share another look. It would be difficult to explain to the others that they refused to let a boy that they met little over a year ago join on his own.

He's relieved when Mikasa takes the lead on this one. "Eren's hell-bent on joining. Someone needs to watch his back."

"I not need that." Eren grumbles.

The others chuckle at that, and it's Sasha who says, "After what we saw back in the city, I have to agree with him."

Eren seems pleased with that, and eventually they drop the subject, moving onto lighter topics.

* * *

The training camp is bustling with activity when they finally get there, and Eren can't help but wrinkle his nose at the smell of sweat and exhaustion that pervades it. The driver points them in the direction of the entrance before heading off towards the stables, presumably to hitch his cart and rest his horse before starting his trek back.

It's hours of paperwork and getting shuffled around to get standard-issue uniforms and measurements for their maneuvering straps before they finally get shown to their new living quarters, and by then it's well past dark. One of the recruits they rode with, Franz, was assigned to a separate barracks, but Eren is delighted to find that the rest of them share the same one.

There are already humans inside the arracks when they enter – some are still unpacking, others are lounging in their bunks, and a few others are sleeping. Eren is very keen to follow the last group's lead. If he hadn't been soaking up sun all day on the journey here, he might have fallen asleep on his feet already.

Mikasa is the first of their group to decide on a place to sleep, making her way through the cramped, cluttered space with grace to an upper bunk above a surly-looking human with dirty-blond hair and a long face. She throws her small bag of belongings on top and climbs up. When Eren makes to follow her up, however, Armin stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “Eren.” He murmurs “We get our own beds here. We don’t have to share anymore.”

Armin is smiling, but Eren can’t help but feel a pang of sadness at that. He _likes_ sleeping next to his humans, feeling them safe in his arms and smelling their sweet human scent. He doesn’t say any of this, though. Instead, he just nods and looks around the room for an empty cot. He sees one above a thin, dark-haired human, and hurries to take it.

Unfortunately, in his hurry, he doesn’t look where he’s going. His foot catches on someone’s rucksack, and he would have fallen if Armin hadn’t been right next to him with a steadying hand.

When he looks up, he startles at the furious look the dirty blond human from before is giving him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” It asks, gesturing at the ruck, and the derision in its tone sparks something in Eren that he hasn’t felt since Olympus.

The urge to punch a human square in the face.

He stifles the feeling. The humans weren’t the ones he really wants to fight, and he doesn’t want to make any enemies among the humans here.

“I am sorry. I did not see.” He says, not mentioning that the human should have kept its things out of the way.

The human looks on the verge of saying something, but it frowns instead. “Why the hell are you talking like that?”

And Eren…doesn’t know how to answer that. His humans have always told him that his speaking has improved a lot, and he honestly didn’t know his lack of familiarity with the humans’ language was still so noticeable. But…this is the second human to mention it to him today. It makes him feel like all of the progress he’s made in his language studies means nothing.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re simple.” And there’s that word again.

Eren grits his teeth, but instead of yelling or lunging at the human like he wants to, he just shrugs his shoulders. “Why you look like that?”

The human seems thrown by his question. “Look like what?”

“Like a horse.”

And with that, he is treated to the wonderful sight of the human’s face changing colors. He’s only seen it happen a few times, but he knows enough to know what a human turning red means. He smiles as the human sputters, and turns to the bunk he had been heading to before this all started. Mikasa gives him a small, approving smile from her place above the horse-faced human, which is contrasted by the firmly _disapproving_ look he gets from Armin.

Although, if Eren is reading his body language right, Armin is still a little proud of him. Eren wonders if it’s because he stood up for himself or if it’s because he didn’t punch the human in the face in the process.

He’s too tired to think much on it though, and he wastes no time getting into bed, fully expecting to fall asleep the second his face touches the pillow.

* * *

Most Titans don't sleep.

When the sun has gone down they enter a dazed trance to conserve energy, but they don't experience unconsciousness like humans do. In this human form however, Eren sleeps.

It's something that even now he finds incredibly disconcerting, the helplessness that comes with having one's brain shut off for hours every day. The first few times it happened to him, he had been afraid that there was something wrong with him, that the cruel human had done something to him, that he was dying. He much prefers the calm night-trance of his Titan form.

Especially now.

His hands curl at the empty spaces on either side of him, and his heart aches.

The last time he slept alone like this was in the cold cell of Olympus.

Exhaustion claws at him, but he can’t bring himself to sleep.

* * *

Jean has always been an early riser, something people didn't seem to expect after meeting him. He knows it will do him a lot of favors once training starts, as the morning reveille is said to be at sunrise here. Back in Trost, he would often spend the early hours reading – something else people didn't seem to expect – but for now he’s content to just lie on his cot and stare at the frame of the one above it.

Which of course makes him think of the person _in_ the cot above his.

She was beautiful. He’s never seen anyone who looks quite like her. (A small part of his brain murmurs _well there is that boy who signed up with you. Marco was it?_ He firmly squashes that part just like he always has.) Their bunks are together, so it’s possible that they could get to know one another, maybe become friends, maybe more. After all, his charm was well renowned back in his hometown, even if he didn’t usually make anything of it. He probably has a good chance with her.

Unfortunately, in thinking of her, he’s reminded of the _other_ person he had the (dis)pleasure of meeting last night.

 _I do_ not _look like a fucking horse!_ He thinks to himself, trying to pretend that the interaction hadn’t embarrassed him in front of the entire barracks. Including the beautiful girl above him. _Smooth first impression, Jean._

Goddessdammit, he’s going to crush that kid.

His mother would tell him to forgive the kid and forget the whole issue. She would also tell Jean that he had started it, snapping at the boy like that. But really, is it that hard to watch where you’re going when walking in a space as cramped as the barracks they’re in? The kid’s lucky he hadn’t broken anything important. Not that Jean had brought anything that was particularly breakable, but that’s beside the point.

Then again, he can practically _feel_ his mother's disappointed look. Maybe it really would be best to just forget any of it happened…

He hears a rustle and a creak from the cot above him, and that’s the only warning he gets before someone lands beside him with a heavy _thud_ , not bothering to use the ladder.

There’s more rustling, and then a feminine voice whispers, “Shh, Eren. You’ll wake someone up.”

‘Eren’ whispers an apology back before walking quietly to what is, presumably, his own bed, and when Jean catches sight of who exactly ‘Eren’ is, his brain stalls.

Because there is no way.

No. fucking. way. That he just saw _that kid_ climb out of _that woman’s_ bed this early in the morning.

He takes everything back. That kid needs to go down.

* * *

It's been a long time since Levi has been on an excursion with more people than those that make up the ever-dwindling Recon Division. Apparently people don't want to get swallowed by Titans. Who knew?

This... _army_ , however, is bigger than any group he's ever fought with. There are thousands of people – hundreds of thousands – clustered together in bunches around anything that can hold attention; gear, horses, water troughs, fires.

He does his best to shut out the murmurs that start up as he passes the small groups, but he still catches snippets.

_“–that who I think it is?”_

_“We're saved!”_

_“–told you they weren't abandoning us to—“_

_“Levi will protect us.”_

_“–sure it's him?”_

_“–couldn't even protect a single division, how can he—“_

Every time he looks around him, Erwin's words sink further into his head. There's a man with a cocky grin spinning one of his blades dangerously around the axis of his finger, a woman trying to calm an agitated horse with what was probably farm commands and not the military orders it actually knows, a boy trying to attach his gas canisters upside-down, a man testing his grappling controls and shooting barbed cables in the direction of a crowd, countless people with their 3DMG straps fastened incorrectly...

These people have no idea what they're doing.

And that's not just a danger for them. They could easily kill someone else with their lack of knowledge and training. The thought of dying by human hands is something he hasn't thought much about since his criminal days. But looking around him now, it's suddenly becoming a very real possibility.

His feet bring him forward to where the front of the army is sprawled at the foot of the gate, like an offering placed at the steps of an alter.

 _In some ways, I suppose that's exactly what it is,_ he thinks, looking up at the massive face of the goddess Rose carved into the stone of the gate, her long hair flowing free and un-coiffed. He wonders what this sacrifice will bring them.

_Sleepless nights, probably._

* * *

The gate screeches as it's raised, metal and stone grinding against each other under heavy force. He remembers a young soldier from the Recon Division that used to say it was the goddess weeping for those who wouldn't come back to her. Levi never believed it, but he remembers returning one day and wondering if the soldier took comfort when the gate finally wailed for him.

He can practically _feel_ all of the confidence and timid cheer that had built up dissipate as the maw opens in front of them. There are no Titans in view, but an even more chilling sight awaits them.

The remains of homes and roads still stood, almost untouched despite their year of decay. But all around them were dark stains and the decaying _parts_ of those who didn't make it. From the gasps and cries and the occasional retch behind him, it seems as though many people hadn't expected anything like this.

To those who had never seen the Titans in person, they probably thought all victims were swallowed whole, leaving no trace of themselves behind.

But others knew better. He can see it on their faces, the flashbacks. People crushed by massive feet, bitten in half by enormous jaws, houses collapsing onto people under giant hands, burying them forever under rubble. This was a messy, bloody war.

Their only consolation is the Titan ash under their feet –the faintest dusting of it thanks to the mounted canons above them. Undeniable proof that even if they lost this war, they weren't going to go without a fight.

"Move out!"

* * *

The sun had only been in the sky for a few hours when the loud piercing sound of a brass instrument rips through the camp, tearing the recruits from their rest.

A soldier stands at the barracks entrance, barking at the sleep-rumpled recruits to line up on the center field to await further instruction. Mikasa looks around for Eren, and sees him peeling himself out of bed with all of the exuberance of a dead fish.

"I don't think Eren likes sleeping alone." She tells Armin, as they make their way out. "He came to me last night and asked to climb into my bunk. He looked..." on the verge of tears "upset."

Armin looks back at Eren, most likely taking in the obvious signs of tiredness. "Maybe he's afraid of the dark?" She sees him mentally cross that option out, Eren had never seemed to mind before. "Or the change of scenery? It's an unfamiliar place, unfamiliar people..."

Mikasa shrugs. She's long since abandoned trying to figure out why Eren does the things he does. "I'm just letting you know in case he comes to you tonight."

Armin nods in thanks, and when Eren finally joins them, they make their way to the field as instructed.

When they get there, there's a rather terrifying looking man with intense eyes waiting for them. He introduces himself as Commander Shadis, and the recruits are given their first taste of what the next two years will be like.

* * *

Eren can't keep the smile from his face as they stumble to the barracks that night. He could have done without all of the yelling, but the activities had been exciting. His muscles ache in a refreshing way that he hasn't quite experienced since he settled down into this human life.

The way Armin and even Mikasa are wincing and dragging their feet makes him think that the humans didn't find training as fun as he did.

The barracks smells intensely of sweat when they return to it, to the point where he's sure it must be detectable to even human senses. It seems as though most of the soldiers-in-training have forsaken climbing the ladders to the top bunks for the moment and are sitting on the floor to wait for the strain in their bodies to lessen.

When Armin collapses in the corner, leaning against Sasha's bed, Mikasa settles in a more controlled manner next to him. Another one of the humans from the trip – the loud one, Connie – is here as well, collapsed on Sasha's bed and wilting over the side slightly.

"Why the hell don't you look tired at all?" The small human asks, shaved head tilting back to look at him upside-down.

Eren just shrugs, because he can't exactly mention his superhuman regenerative powers. His muscles _do_ ache, but he can already feel the burn lessening as his body knits itself back together. The human scowls at his non-answer, and points a wavering finger at him. "It's got something to do with that freaky strength you got, doesn't it?"

Across the aisle, a rather large blond rolls over to look at them. "Who's got freaky strength?" Eren recognizes the human from the training earlier. It was very strong as far as humans go, and had an admirable endurance.

Connie nods his head at him before Eren can stop him. "This guy." He shuffles to the side to get a better view of the other human. "Met him on the way here when he _picked up_ the cart we were riding in. With us in it."

The big human gives Connie a look of disbelief which slips a little when Sasha nods in agreement.

Eren bites his lip, torn between defending his abilities and trying to salvage his secret.

Armin takes the choice from him when he chuckles – still a little breathless from exertion. "You make it sound a lot more dramatic than it was. Besides, it was the only thing I could think of on such short notice."

The big human gives Eren a critical look for a good while before extending a hand. "Reiner Braun."

"Be careful." A voice says from the bunk above 'Reiner', and he sees a dark haired human poke its head over the side. "If you're as strong as they just said you are, he's going to be pestering you to swap workout regimens."

"Quiet, you." The human grunts, thumping a fist against the bottom of the other human's bunk.

Eren can feel a smile tug at his mouth at the good-natured bickering. It reminds him of Armin and Mikasa, and he knows without having to ask that these humans knew each other before coming to train. Before he can say anything in response, one of the soldiers raps on the barracks door with a terse "Lights out!" and the recruits that haven’t already make the arduous journey up their bunk ladders with throbbing muscles.

When he creeps over to Armin's cot later that night, he doesn't even have to say anything before Armin pulls the covers back and shuffles over to accommodate him.

* * *

Eren finds that he does not like class nearly as much as he liked training.

The schoolhouse is located just opposite the training field, and he can see a group out training right now. He spies Franz on the obstacle course, and he whimpers with envy before his shirtsleeve is tugged by Armin again.

" _Eren"_ he chastises "Pay attention. We're getting tested on this stuff, you know."

Eren did not know, but that's probably because he finds it so very hard to concentrate on anything the human droning on in the front of the room has to say. He doesn't like sitting still like this, trapped in a chair for hours on end, and he doesn't know many of the words the human is using or the odd symbols it's writing on the board. They don't look like any of the ones Armin taught him. He makes a soft whine, and hopes Armin understands the plea for help it is.

"Come on," Armin says in what he probably thinks is a suitably encouraging voice, "You always seemed interested in learning new things before. Aren't you even the littlest bit excited?" Eren doesn't mention that before, when Armin or Hannes would teach him things, he was learning about _humans_ , and now...

The human in front of them looks up from the book in its hands to gaze at its less-than-captive audience.

"Can anyone tell me the force needed for proper imbedding of a grappling hook into stone?"

His head makes a dull _thud_ as it drops to the desk and Armin lays a sympathetic hand on his back.

* * *

At the very beginning of the expedition, the 250,000 draftees had been organized into 25 battalions of 10,000, each lead by the highest military officers available.

They've been gone only a month, and already Levi is down to only five hundred.

Levi grips the mane of his horse tight as he shouts orders over his shoulder. If they keep heading hard in this direction for a few more miles, they'll reach a cave system that Levi remembers being used as a smuggling hideout back in his criminal days. Back when the bowels of Wall Maria were actually habitable instead of the stuff of nightmares.

He plotted this course specifically to incorporate it, as he knows from experience that none of the many entrances to the caverns are big enough to accommodate a Titan. A few of them probably wouldn't even be big enough for the horses. A brief memory of shimmying down a tunnel just big enough for a surly twelve-year-old with a bag full of illegal weapons flashes through his head. …He plans to avoid those types if possible.

A quick glance back at the ramshackle horde of civilians-turned-soldiers riding frantically in a mob behind him is enough to make him curse. The horses are overburdened with two or three riders each, as anyone walking soon realized they were no match for Titan speed, the carts of supplies had long been abandoned by the people responsible for hauling them in a panicked attempt to cast off unnecessary weight, and the lack of proper formation meant that they had no warning about oncoming Titans.

Not that they have need of a warning system _now_. He has no trouble seeingthe monstrous beasts that are currently tailing them. And getting steadily closer.

When he sees the rock formation that spears into the sky in a proud jut of granite that signifies the main cave entrance, he almost wants to sob in relief. He calls for anyone who can hear him, explaining what they need to do, and within minutes those who made it were huddled against damp rocks, fumbling around for something to light the darkness.

A woman with a slight stature and red hair (he can almost hear Hanji correct him. _Strawberry blonde, Levi._ Whatever. It's red.) hauls a broken lantern out of her pack, and accepts matches from a man with a bandage around his ribs (long overdue for a change, if the dark stains are anything to go by) to light it. She turns to him after it's lit.

"How long are we supposed to hide out in here?" she asks, drawing the attention of everyone who can hear.

It's a valid question, and were he not intimately familiar with these tunnels, he would have loathed answering it. Luckily that isn't an issue. "We're not." he says, lifting his own, newly lit lantern as if to welcome them to his humble home. "These caves go on for miles. They mostly branch to the East from this point, but there _are_ a few that veer North after a few miles. They won't take us far, but they should at least get us out of this damn Titan horde. Then it's back on the horses."

It takes a while for his words to sink in. Red is the first to realize what he said. "...North?" She asks

The entire decimated battalion that is within earshot holds its collective breath in anticipation of his answer.

Which is a curt nod and a terse "North." because how could he in good conscience say anything else?

He's never seen so many people shed actual _tears_ of relief before, and that's saying something, considering his profession. The man with bandaged ribs looks like he's going to reinjure himself with the strength of his sobs.

* * *

They've been walking (stumbling) along in the semi-darkness of the caverns for an hour or so when Levi finally becomes aware of the conversation happening far behind him.

Most of the group is quiet, sparing their attention on not slipping on the damp stone floors or getting lost in one of the many twisting side-passages. There are a few boys, however, speaking in low tones that Levi almost doesn't catch.

"-telling you, that's not-"

"-know what I saw."

"-didn't see anything. Are you sure-"

The broken fragments piece themselves together in Levi's mind when one of the boys raises his voice in frustration, "I'm serious! That Titan just stood there and _watched_ the others attack. It wasn't doing anything!"

Red collides into his back when he stops abruptly. She says something to him, but he pays it no mind, instead working his way back through the group with determination. His not-quite-subordinates offer him no resistance - only looks of confusion – as he pushes them to the side on his way to the small group of teenagers.

When he finally stops in front of them, it only takes the boys a second or two to register his movement before they're looking up at him with the oh-goddess-what-did-I-do-wrong expression that young soldiers often give superior officers that are currently staring them down.

Although it's obvious that none of them have any idea what they said or did to provoke his admittedly worrying reaction, (it's not every day your superior stops the forward trek to march up to you and glare at you, after all) all four draftees speak up at once, apologizing and offering excuses for any misbehaviors.

He raises a hand to shut them up.

"Which one of you saw the Titan?" He asks, looking between them. When they hesitate in confusion, he can feel the irritation twitch in his face. "Which one of you _just_ said they saw a Titan that didn't attack?"

One of the boys – short, brown hair, freckles – haltingly raises his hand to chest-height. "Uh- I- I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean to- I mean I didn't know...um." He trails off, obviously unaware exactly what he's trying to apologize for, but certain that he should be doing it all the same.

Levi ignores his fumbling, instead reaching into the inside breast pocket of his jacket and pulling out a small notebook. He's never shown this to anyone but Hanji and Erwin before, but then again, he's never had any reason to, he thinks as he flicks it open to a well-worn page and turns it around for the boy to see.

"Did it look like this?" He asks (demands), shoving the notebook forward.

The kid's eyes flick down, still visibly perplexed, and back up to him. "Um" He looks back down at the inked image and back up again with a grimace. His hesitation is obvious, as if he isn't sure if what he's about to say is good news or bad news. "N-no. Sir. It-" he swallows, glancing at his friends, "It was...blonde. And it–it looked like a-um. A woman. Sir. I'm sorry."

Levi continues staring at the kid for a few seconds before he snaps the notebook shut and returns it to his jacket. "Nevermind then." He says, doing a stiff about-face right into Red, who had apparently moved to stand behind him.

She has an eyebrow raised expectantly and one hand perched on her hip, and Levi doesn't know whether to be offended by her disrespect or proud of her spine. "We're all exhausted." She says. "I think we should rest here."

He glances back towards the majority of the group, and sure enough, there are more people leaning their weight against the walls or each other than are standing on their own. He shrugs a shoulder and raises his voice to call for a short rest stop. Red stays with him, which he honestly expected. Her timing was more than a little suspicious.

He hasn't been sitting for long before she's questioning him about the Titan in his notebook.

"We call it the Berserker." He sighs, resigned to telling her. “'We' being me, Commander Smith, and our lead Titan researcher, Hanji Zoe." He takes the smallest of sips from his canteen before packing it away. It's been hell rationing his water, but if his memory is correct, they would be coming up on an underground spring in a few miles. "Before the Fall of Maria, we used to see it during our excursions. First it was only every few times, but by the end it seemed like every mission we would catch at least a glimpse of it."

"What makes it so special?" Red asks. He really should learn her name. He's been actively trying to avoid getting attached to any of the people on this mission, but she's more than proven herself, and Levi doesn't actually mind her company.

"It doesn't attack humans." He says, looking over at the freckled boy from before. He hears muttering around him at the words. "Most of the time it would just...follow us around. And watch us." He narrows his eyes at that. Just because he's mildly obsessed with the thing, doesn't mean he can't acknowledge how goddessdamn creepy it could be. "The only times I _did_ see it attack was when it went after the other Titans." He ignores the noises of disbelief around him.

"You mean..." Red begins.

"This Titan attacked, killed, and devoured other Titans, and showed no interest in killing humans." He brushes some grime off his pant leg and grimaces at the stain it leaves on the white material. "We wanted to capture it. Study it. Maybe even use it as a weapon. Unfortunately, we haven't seen it since the Fall." He knows the muscle at his temple jumps as he clenches his jaw. "We assume it was killed in the battle."

Red makes a noncommittal noise, and Levi can't take it anymore.

"What's your name?" He asks, knowing full well it will only make it that much harder if she doesn't make it back.

She seems surprised at the question, but answers it all the same. "Petra."

He nods, and ignores her curious look. "If we make it back alive..." He stops for a minute to find a good way to word what he wants to say. "That is, if you ever feel like looking at a Titan ever again. I could definitely use someone like you on my team."

The look on her face turns incredulous and a bit skeptical. "No offense, sir, but...I'm going to have to think about that for a while."

Levi inclines his head. "I understand. It's not a decision you want to make rashly. Take as much time as you need." He snorts out a wry laugh. "It's not like spots are filling up all that quickly."

She huffs at that, and Levi allows himself a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, oh my gosh! You all left such amazing reviews, seriously! You make my day, each and every one of you!
> 
> So I've been hinting at it a few times in the comments, but for those of you who haven't read the full manga (like me) and haven't gotten spoilers (unlike me), you're probably not surprised by one of the things that happened in this chapter, but for the rest of you (close your eyes, unspoiler-ed people) we met Reiner and Bert! This is the point where I pull the Author-card, because honestly, the 104th was such a great group because they had such amazing interpersonal relationships, and taking out four whole people from that group (Annie, Reiner, Bert, and Ymir) would honestly really affect the whole attitude and camaraderie within the unit. So as an author, I'm splitting the Hyperions from their human counterparts (except for Eren of course) so our shifters are not shifters anymore (sorry for those of you who are disappointed).


	12. About-Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Two main warnings for this chapter.  
> 1\. Violence/Gore. Basically just Titans being Titans, but I thought I’d give a heads up. Also some survivor’s guilt?  
> 2\. Two characters have their sexualities accidentally outed in front of a small group by someone (Eren) because of a misunderstanding. It all turns out ok, though, don’t worry. There’s enough angst in this fic already
> 
> So I decided to give y’all a little glimpse of Eren Pre-Olympus. Basically prepare yourself for Eren in his raw Titan state, before he goes on the low-carb, fat-free, no-human diet. 
> 
> Enjoy! :D

He growls, a low pleased sound, as the sweet perfume of  _human_ fills his mind with a heady, drugged feeling. The sharp, briny scent of the ocean is a wane thing in the presence of the little critters that are running around the beach.

One of them squeaks shrilly as he pops it into his mouth and bites down with a satisfying crunch. A deep-seated, instinctual part of him revels in the taste and urges him to devour more. He swallows his mouthful and reaches for another, ignoring the small, sharp pains of its stinger as he brings it to his mouth, biting it in half.

A smaller Titan that had followed him over the treacherous cliffs and onto the sheltered beach makes the mistake of trying to partake in the rest of his catch, and he snaps his jaws at it with a growl of warning. The other Titan flinches away and trills warily, its instinct to consume human flesh warring with its instinct to live.

The sweet, seductive scent of human is apparently too strong for it to resist, and it braves his wrath again with a cautious grab at the remains in his fist.

A foolish mistake.

He swallows the tender chunk of nape he'd ripped out with his teeth and leaves the rest to disintegrate into the sand. Why fill his belly with Titan meat when the small delicacies are still scurrying around the beach? He scoops another of the tiny animals up and is about to place it in his mouth, when the strangest thing happens.

One of the humans is coming _towards_ him.                                                                                                                     

That never happens...

He watches it reach up a tiny little hand in the direction of the human in his fist. It makes shrill noises, and the one he's holding looks down to it, reaching one of its hands down.

What were these odd little creatures _doing?_

The one on the beach reaches him at last and starts stabbing wildly at his foot with its stinger. It's a bit of a pathetic attempt, as it doesn’t hurt in the slightest, but the sheer _spine_ of the creature stops him short. He's never had a human attack him like this before. Most of them fought in his grip or even in his mouth, just like any other animal, but not like this.

The humans reach towards one another again and it's so baffling that he can't help himself. He crouches down and brings the two closer. They claw at the air when he does, and he hears more shrill chirping. His instincts snarl at him and pound against the inside of his skill, demanding that he stop toying around and shove the thing in his mouth, but...

He can't help but want to figure this out.

It’s like these two in particular wanted to be _near_ each other for whatever reason. He tries to remember if he’s ever wanted to be near another Titan in his life and comes up blank. The one on the ground resumes its slashing, and he feels the overwhelming need to understand the little thing. What on earth could make something as small as a human approach something as big as a Titan and start provoking it?

Maybe it had nothing to do with the human in his hand. Maybe this was just an Abnormal human. He's seen Abnormal Titans doing the strangest things sometimes...

Out of sheer curiosity, he places the human he's holding on the ground near the other. There's a moment where nothing happens, but then the two humans scramble towards one another. When they meet, they grip each other fiercely and run away from him as fast as their tiny legs can carry them (which isn't all that fast, actually), never once letting go.

He doesn't follow them. Instead, he sits on the beach and watches the humans closely, trilling thoughtfully. There aren't many left on the beach, as most of them have dispersed from their broken colony and into the ocean. He tilts his head as he looks at them, bobbing on floating pieces of what looks like wood. He wonders how they got the idea to do that. Most Titans don't like water, so it’s not a bad plan. It must be a coincidence, though. Humans don’t have any measure of intelligence.

As he watches, though, he sees that strange behavior again. Bigger humans running _away_ from the safety of the water to latch onto smaller ones before going back, humans running in pairs or small groups with their feeble hands fasted together, even some carrying other humans in their arms or on their backs.

He tries to remember if he's ever seen this sort of behavior before, but...he's never really paid attention. Until now, he never even considered that there was anything about humans worth paying attention _to_.  

He doesn't know how long he sits on the beach, looking out at the floating humans. There's no more on the land anymore, and he wonders how long they can stay out there in the waves. The cove wasn't easy to get to, which explains why there are so few Titans here, but soon enough there's a second one climbing over the ridge surrounding it.

He smells a new wave of fear from the humans, and with good reason. It’s probably twenty meters tall and gaunt, with knobby joints and a bowed spine. It clicks its throat ominously when it spies the humans, and lumbers towards them.

This one isn't afraid of the water, then.

He hears those piercing noises from the humans again as the Titan trudges through the surf. The water only just passes its ankles by the time it reaches the first float of humans. It reaches a massive hand down, intent on devouring the little raft and everything on top of it.

It's only because he's looking closely that he sees it.

The humans on the other floats are reaching their thin, brittle arms out, stretching their hands towards their doomed companions, just like the two before.

Something clicks inside of him when he sees it. He doesn't quite know why he does it. There's no logical thought process involved when he throws himself to his feet and sprints towards the other Titan.

The other Titan is taller than him by at least five meters, but not nearly a match for him. He jumps at the last moment, latching onto the other's back and sinking his teeth into the meat of its nape. The Titan croaks out a roar at the attack, but the sound cuts off when he bites down _hard_.

The humans squeak again as the Titan's corpse falls into the water, creating waves of its own that jostle the little floating rafts.

There's a long moment where he just stands there, watching the foam brush against his ankles and breathing heavily from the quick burst of exertion. When he finally raises his gaze to the humans, he sees them huddle closer to one another.

He crouches down slowly, ignoring his instincts to attack and not knowing why. The humans splash the water and their little raft floats steadily away from him, so he hooks a finger on the edge and drags it back easily. The shrill chirping intensifies when he does, but he ignores it, instead bringing his face down to look closely at the humans in a way he never has before.

He's always noted the major similarities -- he'd have to be blind not to recognize that they look just like tiny Titans -- but when he gets closer, he realizes that they don't act like Titans at all. He's never seen one of his kind hold another close like he sees here. They've all huddled together on the raft, pilling half on top of one another with their little hands latched onto any part of the others they can reach.

He lifts a finger and gently prods the mass of humans, and they chitter loudly, huddling tighter. One of the bigger ones works its limbs out of the tangle and goes to stand in front of the others and throws its arms out, as if blocking his way to them.

Intrigued, he brings his face even closer, until he's a sparse meter or two away from the human and his breath ruffles its hair. It's tiny body trembles almost violently, but at this proximity he can see its eyes are open and looking at him with a fierceness he never expected. It can't possibly be intelligence he's seeing (ridiculous), but...it is _something._

How curious...

As slowly as he bent down, he stands.

His blood thrums in his veins at the discovery. This was something _interesting._ Something to break the monotony of eat-walk-fight-rest that he'd known for so long. A puzzle to figure out. The mental stimulation alone is enough to help him ignore the instinct to just cram as many of them as he can into his mouth.

The same instincts try and fail to tug him back as he makes his way back to the beach, dropping himself down with a heavy _thud_ and a small cloud of sand _._

Right now they were much more interesting alive than in his belly. Maybe that would change, but right now he was content to just watch them.

On the ocean, he sees the one who had stood in front of him collapse onto its knees in a shaking mess. The others fold it gently -- almost reverently -- back into their tight huddle, running their hands over its back and through its hair.

Such strange little creatures...

* * *

Months after first arriving at the military training camp and only days after their first exam, the recruits are finally returning to the barracks with their completed papers, and Eren feels his first tug of sinking doubt about joining.

Armin is speaking proudly about the subjects that had been covered, and gesticulates wildly as he looks at the paper in front of him, trying to downplay the impressive score he received. The other recruits are joining in the conversation as well, complaining over questions missed and self-congratulating questions correctly answered. When they get to their sleeping quarters, Armin is somehow appointed to explain away confusion, which he accepts with an embarrassed reluctance.

Eren watches the human in his element, using his big brain (which, Eren remembers, is not _actually_ bigger than the average human brain) to help others understand the things that fit together so logically in his head, and he feels pride for his human.

He also can't help feeling the envy that bubbles low in his gut whenever Armin explains one of the seemingly impossible questions that they've been given as easily as he breathes. The mathematical equations make Eren's head spin, the historical accounts of humanity within the Walls are filled with names and dates and faces that quickly slip out of his mind like water, the memorization of various names of equipment and ranks and formations all get jumbled about with no way for him to sort them back correctly. Even Horseface seems to understand more than him.

He looks at the first question on his paper, and he frowns at his failed attempts to answer the question about optimum gas usage in 3D maneuvering. He'd even tried out all of the tricks that Armin tried to teach him, but nothing seemed to help him get the right answer. He couldn't even remember which pieces of information went in which order in the formulas.

He remembers the feeling of hopelessness he felt with every question the instructor recited aloud _"for those of you who have literacy trouble"_ and the panic when the human would move on to the next question before he even had the chance to answer the previous one.

He doesn't realize he's crumpling the papers until a hand settles on his trembling fist.

When he jerks his head up, he's met with Armin's concerned eyes. When those eyes drop to the papers he's holding, he can't help but look away with a sticky feeling of shame clogging his throat. The paper has holes torn in it from the amount of times he's erased his writing, and there are crossed out equations and unfinished problems, and the number scrawled in red ink on top screams out mockingly that only a sparse few questions have actually been solved correctly. It's a stark contrast from Armin's pristine test with his cleanly printed letters and complex arrangements done without error.

The pitying look Armin gives him when he looks back up is too much. He stands up before the human can say anything, stuffs the exam in his pocket, and marches from the dorm without looking back. He can hear his name being called out behind him, but he doesn't care. He knows where he needs to be right now, and it isn't here.

When he finally gets to the training course, it's empty of humans. The sun has recently set, and a rusty glow shines over the equipment. He decides on the obstacle course, because it takes the most focus and he needs to clear his head. It seems like every bit of brain power he has is focused on remembering every person who's ever called him simple. He'd always denied it and gotten angry about it, because it was only his trouble speaking that made them think that...

...Right?

The course is simple enough; log jumps, balance walks, a scaling wall, a crawling net, a rope climb, some tunnel crawls. It's never been incredibly difficult for Eren, but he finds it entertaining enough, so he does a run through. And another. And another....

He's been running the course over and over and then backward and then frontward for what probably amounts to an hour before he finally notices someone watching him. He's just scaled the wall when the fresh scent of human halts him at the top.

He looks around and finally spies it loitering by the gate. At first glance he thinks it's Reiner, but at the smell he dismisses the thought. As he crouches on top of the wall to get a better look, he realizes that the human looks just slightly different from his friend. Bigger and more threatening, without any outward signs that it _should_ be.

Seemingly realizing that it's been caught, the human steps out of the shadows with a placid smile on its face. It doesn't speak until it reaches the bottom of the scaling wall, and when it does Eren doesn't know quite what to make of it.

"Impressive." It says, clasping its hands behind its back in a seemingly nonthreatening gesture that just _happens_ to also press out its chest in a subliminal display of dominance. "I've been watching you do this for quite some time now." It tilts its head to the side a bit to get a better look at him. "You don't even look all that tired." Eren doesn't have an answer to that, and a small period of silence stretches out between them. "How long have you been out here?" The human asks, prompting him to speak again.

Eren shrugs a shoulder with no small bit of irritation. He's not in the mood to talk right now, and even if he did know how long he was out here, he doesn't feel like giving this strange human any more information than is strictly necessary. Something about it seems...deceptive.

His non-answer seems to throw the human off a little, which is entertaining. He imagines the human with a proud plume of feathers that've been suddenly ruffled slightly out of order, and he makes sure to tamp down on the smile that wants to escape at the thought.

"You...don't know who I am, do you?" The human doesn't seem to be asking out of arrogance or anger. It actually expected to be recognized.

He shakes his head, because he honestly doesn't know. Humans tend to mostly look the same to him, and he's never smelled this human before.

"Hm. My name is Erwin Smith." It says calmly, "I'm the current Commander of the Survey Corps. I ha--"

Eren doesn't let the human finish before he's pushed himself off the climbing wall to land in front of the Commander.

"Survey Corps?"

The human only looks mildly surprised at his entry, and nods with a smile. "Yes."

Eren grins. "I am to join Survey Corps." Suddenly, the past few days replay in his head, and his smile falters. "I...I _was_ tojoin Survey Corps."

Erwin takes a moment to assess him before saying. "Why the change of heart?"

Eyes narrowing, Eren tries to remember if he's ever heard that particular idiom before. "You mean why I change my mind?" At Erwin's mildly confused nod, he just sighs. The crumpled exam is still in his pocket and he takes it out, flattening it a bit before handing it to the human.

Understanding crosses the human's face, and it looks back to Eren "I see. You think the Survey Corps won't let you in with a grade like this?"

Eren nods, eyes prickling in a very human stress response. Somehow, whether it's the sheer enormity of the emotional tumult inside of him, or the darkness around them that makes him feel as though he can confess what he never could to himself or others, he manages the words he's denied for so long.

"I am...too simple."

He bites his lip after he says it, too afraid that everything he’s feeling will all pour out in a jumbled, incoherent mess.

"Nonsense."

Eren whips his head up to look at the human incredulously. "What?"

"Plenty of people in the Survey Corps have failed this test." The human holds up the papers. "This only assesses technical knowledge, not necessarily intelligence. If you had said you wanted to be a military engineer, I would have bad news for you. But technical knowledge can only take you so far in the field."

"But..."

"There are three exams you'll take here, and they all test different types of skill and intelligence, the first of which is technical. Because they look for different things, you can fail this one and still pass both of the others with flying colors." The human smiles a knowing smile. "Just ask Levi Ackerman."

Eren's face has been morphing into a relieved grin while the human talks, and he only gives a small head tilt at the familiar-yet-unfamiliar name, unable to be upset by his lack of knowledge this time.

The human gives him an unreadable look. "You don't know who Levi Ackerman is, either?" It shakes its head. "Humanity's Strongest?"

The name digs up a memory of something Armin said after the recruiters came to their town. Suddenly, realization flashes through him, straightening his spine. "The little one!"

The human seems to choke on air at his exclamation, but Eren continues excitedly. "With the--" he puts his hand over the back of his head, miming the undercut hairstyle, before dropping it down in front of him to mime the twirling attack, "and the spinning?"

Erwin's lips twitch up into a small smile. "That…sounds like him, yes."

"Levi." Eren says gleefully, feeling the word on his tongue. He vaguely remembers learning the name in one of his classes, but he'd never made the connection between name and human. Now he wishes he remembered everything he'd learned about him.

"I...take it you've met him." The human says, more statement than question.

Eren nods. "When Maria fell."

Erwin lets out a short hum. "A tragic day." There's a small pause that's full of weight, and Eren shifts uncomfortably before the human straightens its shoulders. "Well, I should get going. I'm supposed to be meeting up with Commander Shadis. Good night, ah..."

"Eren."

"Good night, Eren." The human gives another enigmatic smile before disappearing into the night.

Watching the Commander go, Eren can't decide what he thinks of the human. He shakes off the thought, and instead focuses on the conversation they’d shared. He isn’t simple, he can still get into the Survey Corps, and his little one is named _Levi._

When he climbs into Armin's bunk that night, he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

Levi slumps against the headboard of his bed.

For a while there, towards the end, he didn't think he'd ever see it again.

So far his battalion, or what was left of it -- _'only a hundred, Goddess help me'_ \-- has been the only one to return. He doesn't know how far the other groups had gotten, or if any are still alive.

But he knows _his_ was decimated.

He led them to their deaths.

He killed them.

Ten _thousand_ people under his command. People who rode desperately behind him, relying on _him_ to save them. All gone.

When the guilt in his heart and the nausea in his stomach becomes too much, he hurls himself off of the bed and grabs a rag from the cupboard. His room has gotten dusty in his absence, and he intends to clean every square inch of it.

Hanji will probably visit soon, and Erwin will definitely call him to his office by the end of the day. He's not in the right headspace for guests at the moment, though. He needs time to compartmentalize everything, and he needs to busy his hands while he does it.

He fills a pail in the sink, shaves off some soap from the bar next to it, and gets to work.

* * *

Eren smiles, scooping porridge into his mouth as he listens to Bertolt snicker his way through a story about Reiner climbing to a rooftop to rescue his family’s goat. Many of his new human friends are laughing with them, and it takes Eren a moment to realize who's missing.

He looks over to Connie, because the two seem nigh inseparable sometimes, and sure enough...

"Connie." He says, getting the tiny human's attention. "Where is Sasha?"

The boy huffs, nodding his head in the direction of the window. "She sassed Shadis again, so she's out runnin' laps." He gives a fond sigh, and shakes his head. "He has her going without dinner again, too. Which I'll _definitely_ be hearing about later."

Eren frowns down into his porridge. Sasha Braus running laps wasn't an unusual sight to see around the camp, but it always strikes him as wrong. He knows that Shadis isn't actually a _threat_ to his friends, and that he's actually _trying_ to protect them in a roundabout, disciplinary way, which he’s appreciative of but…it's the withholding of food that always upsets him.

It’s just that…

Eren is well acquainted with starvation.

He knows all too well the sickly clenching that takes over a body when it's been denied nourishment. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

"When she stop running?"

He finds Sasha an hour later, slumped under a tree. She looks exhausted, and he can't help but wince in sympathy.

She looks up thorough her frazzled bangs as he approaches, and the motion causes a little more of her ponytail to slip from its loose tie. "Hey Eren, what time is it?" She calls.

"Is almost lights-out."

She sags even farther into the rough bark at that, disappointment heavy on her shoulders. "Commander Shadis said that if the mess hall was still open when I finished, I could get some dinner, but...guess not." She kicks the toes of her boots together, watching them morosely and Eren takes that as his cue to sink down next to her.

"Mess hall is not open still." He says, fiddling with the small bundle in his lap. The cloth is soft -- some sort of napkin that he knows he should pretend Mikasa hadn't liberated from the dining hall.

"I know," Sasha sighs, "I didn't really expect--" She breaks off suddenly, and her body shifts where it's pressed against his as she inhales deeply. "What is that smell?"

Eren drops the parcel he'd brought in her lap with a small smile. "Dinner."

She blinks at him a few times before she jumps into motion, exhaustion seemingly forgotten as she excitedly works the knot free. When she finally unwraps it, she stares at the contents for a few shocked breaths. "Is this..." She looks up at him with watery eyes. "Is this _meat?_ " There's a hitch in her voice when she says it, and at first Eren thinks he might've upset her, but a second later she pulls him into a crushing hug, releasing him only to dig into the proffered meal with enthusiasm.

She groans as she does before turning to him and half-chews, half-asks. "M'were did you even _get_ all thish?" As soon as she says it, though, she stiffens, swallowing her mouthful. "Wait, did you steal this? I'm I eating, like, _the Commander's_ _food_? Oh, I'm in so much trouble!" She stuffs more of it into her mouth anyway, but this time it's paired with suspicious peering around the rec area.

"No, no!" He says, letting out a mirth-filled trill despite himself. "Not steal it. I catch it."

"What?" One of her eyebrows is arched dramatically, and Eren can't help but wonder if it might slide off her face completely. "How?"

He shrugs. Humans always seemed so surprised by his methods despite their simplicity. "I wait in tree and…" he mimes snatching a bird out of the air.

Sasha is looking at him like he's just shown her the ocean, the desert, and the fire mountains all wrapped into one. She reaches out and touches his face and he pretends it doesn't make him slightly uncomfortable. "You must teach me your ways, Eren," she says seriously, before digging back into the meal. Eren watches her do so while fighting a smile.

His humans are odd sometimes.

* * *

Eren quickly finds that the humans really don't know all that much about Titans.

After the first exam, they'd moved on to different subjects, and this time the focus seemed to be mainly on his species. Titan biology, Titan behavior, Titan-killing techniques...

Eren fights the urge to cover his nape as the instructor vividly describes the size and shape of the chunk that should be carved from their necks.

Aside from that, though, the information all seems very patch-work and incomplete. Even the humans of Olympus knew more than the things written in the books here. He has the memories to prove it.

He listens with an almost offended fascination as the human professes that Titans can't reproduce because they lack similar structures as humans. Does the human imagine that they just pop out of the ground on their own? Ridiculous.

And of course they need nourishment! Titans are no more impervious to energy-depletion than humans. Just because they can also create their own sustenance via the sun doesn't mean they're _immortal._

Many times he just wants to throw his hands in the air and storm out when the human says something truly ridiculous. It's almost painful to listen to them flounder about with the small amount of information they have, and Eren wishes he could correct them without giving away his secret.

At least it's not calculating gas usage, though...

* * *

Armin can't help but be surprised at the ease with which Eren is picking up the new information they've been learning. For the past months, Eren has been struggling in class and tearing his hair out trying to wrap his mind around it all, no matter how many times it was explained to him. It was almost painful to watch.

But _now_ he almost never looks confused, he finishes his homework with ease, he's even _answering questions in class_. The complete 180 is enough to make Armin’s head spin.

The day is warm, so their barracks decided to go out to the rec field to study during their free period. Eren and Reiner are currently challenging each other to see who can do the most sit-ups before they tire out, with Bertolt as Mikasa as their attentive referees.

Armin, meanwhile is asking the group questions from the latest quiz, which Armin is embarrassed to say he didn't do so well on.

"' _What is the most ideal direction to attack a Titan from, assuming all are possible?'_ "

Without skipping a beat, Eren pipes up, "Above."

Armin looks over at him and nods. When the question had first been posed to the class, Armin had said 'behind', and had been honestly surprised when the teacher shook his head, especially when it was _Eren_ that had correctly answered right after that. He was even more shocked when the teacher had asked the class why that was. Eren's hand had shot up again, and he answered that Titans couldn't look up very far due to the structure of their nape muscles.

The teacher had looked a little miffed that Eren had answered so easily, but begrudgingly accepted that he was right.

"Alright, next question, _'If you find yourself weaponless in front of a Titan, and there is no one around to help you, should you: run away, hide, make yourself look as big and loud as possible, or stay perfectly still?'"_

There's murmuring among the recruits as they all discuss their ideas. This one hadn't ever been brought up in class, and Armin is a little upset and confused by the red slash through his answer on this question. He'd been so sure...

There's a snort from Eren's direction where he's still keeping pace with Reiner, who looks very red in the face. "Run."

Armin finds himself frowning. "But the instructor said that Titans don't have very good eyesight. Wouldn't that just make you an obvious target? If you stay still, they won't see you and will move on..."

The smirk on Eren's face grows as Reiner's movements start to get strained, and he makes one of his odd little babble noises. "Titan eyesight not _that_ bad. Is just not as good as people. Besides," he looks over at Armin then, "Titan can smell human from mile away. Hiding and stopping are not good idea. Or being loud. That one is worst. Best to just run."

Armin frowns. "Where in the book does it say all that?"

He doesn't get his answer though, as right then, Reiner collapses flat on his back with an angry, breathless shout.

"How are you even _human?"_ He groans at Eren, accepting a water canteen from Bertolt and awkwardly drinking from it without even picking his head up, chest heaving violently with his breaths.

An unreadable expression flickers across Eren's face, but it disappears as soon as it's there. He laughs breathlessly and sits up a final time, sagging back on his outstretched arms. "Do not be sore loser."

"Ugh. I'm going to be a _very_ sore loser. Goddess, I think I pulled a stomach muscle." He winces and Bertolt pats his shoulder sympathetically.

"Next question." Jean grumbles from where he sits next to Marco and Annie.

Armin nods, "Okay, let's see... _'On average, how long does it take a Titan to regenerate an entire lost limb?'"_

"Two minute." Eren pipes up, wiping water from his mouth with the back of his hand.

Jean tosses his papers down on the grass. "How about _he_ doesn't answer questions anymore?"

Eren glares at him, and Armin shrugs awkwardly. "Well, he _did_ get the highest score..." Which...Armin is a big enough of a person to say that he's gotten used to being the one with that achievement, and it stings a little to have it taken away. Even though he's immensely proud of Eren. "He can help us figure out what we got wrong." Something that generally used to be his job.

"Yeah, well, if he got such a good score, then he doesn't exactly need to study, does he?"

Eren sticks his tongue out at Jean.

"Eren..." Armin starts, he doesn't want to see Jean screw up this big accomplishment for Eren.

"Is okay." He says with a shrug. "She is just jealous."

Armin nods, so relieved that it takes a moment to detect the slip. "He."

"What?" Eren asks

"Jean is a he, Eren." He looks over at said individual, who looks too shocked to say anything, and wonders if Jean would believe it really was an honest mistake.

But before he can explain, Eren speaks again, this time to Marco. "Then you are girl?" Marco's eyebrows shoot up and he shakes his head, making Eren frown. He looks at Armin suspiciously. "But you said only boy and girl do kissing."

"What?" Armin asks.

Suddenly a clump of dirt hits Eren in the head.

When Armin looks over, Jean is red in the face and Marco is flushed from his hairline to his collarbones. "Shut up, punk." Jean growls, before getting up and stalking off towards the barracks. Marco hesitates for a moment before following him.

Eren rubs the place where the projectile hit him, looking between Jean's retreating form and Armin. "What did I say?"

Armin looks back at him, fumbling for an answer and lowering his voice to maintain some sense of privacy from their peers. "It's not...polite. To tell everyone who other people are…kissing."

Eren looks sullen at the realization. "I did not know it was secret." He glances in the direction Jean left. "Hannes and Carla kissing was not secret."

Armin nods. As always, Eren's logic is understandable. "Yes, but they were the ones who decided to tell people."

"Oh."

"I'll explain the other part later."

Eren nods distractedly before standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"I want to say sorry."

Armin nods, "Alright. We'll be here when you're done."

* * *

When mealtime comes, the paranoid part of Jean’s mind warns him that everyone will be looking at him -- judging him -- the second he walks through the door. He doesn’t know how that little shit saw them, but if this screws up his chances getting into the Military Police...’sorry’ just isn’t going to cut it.

He takes a deep breath before opening the doors to the mess hall, keeping his eyes straight ahead as he walks to his usual table. Marco waves him over, and for a second he panics and wonders if they should be seen together.

The easy smile on the other’s face convinces him otherwise, and he sits down across from him like every other day. Marco doesn’t seem to be acting any differently than usual, which is…impressive.

Out of the corner of his eye, he looks over the rest of the table, and…no one is staring at them. He looks around the mess hall, only to find that everyone is focused on something else.

Jean turns to Marco with a baffled expression, but Marco has joined in on the conversation happening at their table. Everything seems…perfectly normal. Someone says something that makes the others laugh, and Reiner thumps Marco on the back with a friendly palm like he normally would.

Marco glances back to Jean with an _‘I told you so’_ written in his smile.

And yeah, okay, he _had_ said that none of their friends would mind. That no one would mind, actually.

Connie calls his name and tosses him a roll just before the short recruit is tackled off the bench by Sasha, who’s complaining that he should’ve given it to _her_ if he didn’t want it, and he smiles.

He should listen to Marco more often.

* * *

In the passing months, Eren finds that the Survey Corps Commander had been right. When it comes time to take the second exam, he feels confident in a way he hadn't the first time around.

His humans are sitting beside him, and this time _they're_ the more nervous ones. He knows they will both pass though. He even got to help them study this time -- which is a complete turnaround -- and he hopes his insider knowledge has helped them a little.

The instructor comes in then, and the class quiets down. The stern human distributes the exam while detailing the instructions as well as a reminder about the punishment for cheating and a short 'good luck'.

He can hear Armin and a few others start immediately, but Eren waits patiently with the rest while the instructor gets a glass of water, setting it on the podium before beginning to recite the questions one at a time.

He smiles as the answers come easily to him. Anything he didn't know just by being in his own skin, he could pull from the various things he'd learned about himself from Olympus.

When it's all over, Eren hands in the sheet with a grin and a happy trill. If the final exam is anything like this one, he should have no problem at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, it’s not, Eren. It’s really not.
> 
> You all deserve an award or a hug or something for putting up with my huge delay in both chapter updates and comment replies. Seriously, the support I’ve been getting from all of you is more than I ever imagined when I started this fic. <3
> 
> Wow. Such relationship progress. One now knows the other’s name. *facepalm* I never mean for this to be quite so slow burn, y’all, sorry about that.


	13. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have an excuse for why this chapter is so obscenely late. Something happened this summer that took a lot out of me, and I was not moved by a writing muse very often. I hacked away at this story though, because I love it dearly and I can't stand seeing it unfinished and hiatus-y looking. I've read every single one of your lovely comments and they really helped me get my butt in gear. It's really late where I am right now, so I'm going to post this tonight and then tomorrow, I'll see about answering the lovely, amazing, BEAUTIFUL comments some of you left on the last chapter. 
> 
> Seriously, you all are more than I could have asked for. I hope you enjoy this (ridiculously late) chapter! (It's the longest one yet, if that sweetens the pot for anyone)

The schedule is routine now, and he sighs as one of the humans opens the door to his cell. He doesn't open his eyes, though. He's exhausted from the experiments yesterday and he doesn't really feel like moving. He winces as the last of his ribs fuses back together with a _click_. He'd been waiting _hours_ for that to finish healing.

It's the bigger human this time, he realizes as he scents the air, and it's dragging in a goat. Goat isn't his favorite, but after so many years of starving, he's not about to get picky. The human lets the carcass drop with a huff, and shuffles around some more doing who-knows-what.

After a few moments, the smell of the goat really hits him, and his stomach decides to make itself known. He's been needing to eat more frequently since coming to this place, and he knows it probably has to do with the hefty tax the humans have been putting on his regeneration abilities. If only he could see the sun from this smaller room...

He peels his eyes open, fighting the urge to curl up and go back to that bizarre unconscious state. When he does, he locks eyes with the human—who is strangely enough still in his cell—and the human jerks back, startled by his gaze, its feet catching on the animal's legs and sending it tumbling.

He watches as the human is sent crashing into the door that bisects the transparent wall, pushing it closed with its large body.

A firm _click_ echoes through the room.

There's a moment where neither of them move, the human watching his movements warily, and him watching the human's with interest. He's never seen the door opened from this side of the wall before, and he's intently curious to see how the human does it. There's no lever on this side to turn like there is on the outside, which has so far hampered his escape. But if he can just learn the trick...

The human turns its head to look at the closed door with wide eyes before jumping into motion. Its hands skate the surface, feeling along the edges of the door and wedging its fingers in the miniscule crack. He frowns at the sight. He's already tried that and it doesn't work.

The human bangs its fist against the door loudly and opens its mouth to release a breathy wheeze. He's _definitely_ tried that.

It's only when the human whips around, eyes wild with fear and one hand going to the blade on its hip, that realization hits him. There _is_ no way out from this side. The human is trapped in here with him. 

And the other humans are nowhere in sight. 

This....could be interesting.

The smell of fear oozes out of the human but its eyes stay firmly on him. Its weapon gleams in the harsh light, flashing dangerously, and he knows that there are many ways this encounter could proceed. He _could_ stay far away from the human and simply wait for the others to fetch it without confrontation. That would be a smart move, since he doesn't know if the human's reflexes are as sharp as its sword. 

Or...

He could take advantage of the opportunity this presents...

He lunges.

The human exhales sharply, jumping to the side and bringing its sword up to slash at him. The swing is hasty and uncoordinated and only barely slices through his shoulder, a small trickle of steam leaving the wound as it heals. He follows the human and it tries to swing again, but he catches the larger creature's arm on its way down. 

With his other hand, he grabs the human's wrist and brings it to his face, latching his mouth onto the creature's hand, which is currently still holding the weapon. He can smell the human's fear spike, but he ignores it and bites down _,_ holding the struggling creature in his jaws until he hears the metallic clang of the sword connecting with the floor. He ignores the sweet, sweet taste and releases the flesh from his teeth.

The human wheezes, its eyes clenching shut as he manhandles it into the back corner, as far away from the fallen weapon as he can manage in the enclosed space. He shoves it against the corner and it slumps down to the floor, eyes still shut and breath shakily escaping it.

He takes a brief moment to savor the rush that comes from _finally_ being the one in control. Oh, what a _feeling!_

But he has to hurry. The others could come back early, and he doesn't want to waste this opportunity. 

Slowly, he crouches down to the human's level and raises a hand to its face. The skin is warm and smooth, like his, and the human's breath stutters. 

Next, he brings his hand up to the pale yellow hair, ruffling it like he's seen the smaller human do on occasion. It's very soft and not at all oily and tangled like his. He likes the feel of it, so he keeps moving his hand through the silky strands. Eventually the human's eyes crack open to peer at him. He knows he's being assessed, but he's used to that after all these years.

The human has stopped trembling, he notices, but its breath is still coming out raggedly. It draws his attention to the human’s mouth, and he lets curiosity control his hands as he pries the creature's jaws open to look inside. The human gives a token struggle, but stops soon after when it doesn't dislodge him any. He runs the pad of his index finger along the human's teeth. They're rather blunt as far as teeth go, but his aren't much better. He raises his other hand to run a finger along his own teeth, feeling the differences and similarities.

With an intrigued trill, he moves on, lowering his hands to the fabric that the human is swathed in. The outermost layer is thin and white, but more interestingly it has many small pockets in it that are filled with various things. He takes some colorful sticks out of the one by its chest and inspects them thoroughly. After determining that they neither smell nor taste good, he puts them to the side. He'll figure out what they do later after the human has gone.

In the hip pockets, he finds some more interesting things. Hard, shiny objects on a ring that jingle when he moves them. These don't taste good either, but they _are_ very pretty and nice sounding, and he sets them aside to examine later. There were other things of the same material in there as well, some small pebble-like things and a few strange pieces of curled wire. He pulls one of the wires out of its spiral, and is left with a straight piece about a finger long. It doesn't seem to do much. He adds it to his loot anyway.

The most interesting thing he finds is an incredibly thin rectangle with colors on it. After some flipping and turning, he realizes the colors are...humans. Sort of. They weren't _real_ humans, but...they _looked_ like real humans. He stares at the object for a while, trying to figure the thing out. With an exasperated chirrup, he places the object with the others, careful not to damage it. 

The pockets are empty now, and he moves on to another covering. At random, he picks the thing wrapped around the human's neck. It's brightly colored and soft to the touch. He decides to take it, and after a brief struggle with the devious thing, he finally manages to work it from the human's neck. It's only then that he sees the marks.

Momentarily forgetting the piece of cloth, he leans in to see what it had been hiding. A mass of raised, discolored flesh crawls out from underneath the human's clothing to wrap around its throat, drawing his complete attention. Gently, he runs his fingers over the strange abnormality.

The skin here is smoother than the rest, but firmer. He clicks his throat in consideration. _What is this?_

He raises his eyes to the human's, tilting his head to the side to convey confusion, and taps the mass on its throat. The human just looks at him, so he does it again, looking pointedly at the abnormality. He sees understanding dawn, and the human slowly lifts its hand, haltingly, to his injured shoulder. It's almost healed by now, but it's still tender, so he growls when the hand touches it. The human pales, and he can feel it swallow thickly under his fingertips. 

It taps his shoulder again and then slowly brings its hand to touch the skin of its throat.

Oh.

Oh!

It's an injury _,_ he realizes. This human couldn't regenerate properly, and this was the result. He wonders what the other humans think of that.

The strange flesh is fascinating, and he touches it again, running his fingertips over the silky smooth skin and admiring the hills and grooves that the injury had caused. It was so strange, yet fascinating at the same time.

What sort of injury was it? He wonders. Did it hurt? How long ago did it happen? Why didn't the human's regeneration work properly? 

His questions are interrupted by a loud shriek. 

They both turn to look at the transparent wall, where the smaller human has rushed over to press against it. It rushes for the door, but is hindered by a firm hand on it's arm. The leader had arrived as well. The small creature chirps and shrieks some more, and the cruel one barks at it. They stop when the human underneath him raises its hand and flaps it around.

The small human makes some more quiet sounds, but the big human just points to his pile of acquired treasure and makes a few gestures with its hand.

Possessiveness rips through him when the small human looks to the objects he pulled from the human's pockets, and with a growl he moves his small pile of things to the other side of himself so that the small human can't see it. These were _his_ now. They weren't going to take them from him.

The human under him shifts and he turns his attention towards it. Slowly, it gestures to itself and then to the humans outside the wall. It does it again and he growls. The human wants to leave. Well so does _he_. He repeats the gesture the human made on himself and the human gives him a defeated look.

A sudden _bang_ sounds around the confined space, enough to cause him to jump back, ears ringing painfully. The human he had trapped has clapped its hands over its ears, mouth opening in a silent shout. Belatedly, he feels hot pain spreading throughout his torso, and he looks down to see steam billowing out of a small bloody hole in his side. 

He looks up to see the small human inside the pen, holding some sort of contraption, and before he can stand to make a move, it makes four more loud _bangs_ , and this time he feels it immediately as whatever it's doing rips through him. At first, the pain is manageable, but then they start itching and _burning._ He looks down to the wounds and sees a black, partially congealed liquid seeping through his shirt. He remembers this substance vividly.

Acid.

He doesn't even notice when the leader rips the contraption out of the small human's hands, or when the big human makes its escape, locking the door firmly behind it. He doesn't even notice when they eventually leave, too focused on the agonizing pain eating away at his insides.

He always hated acid the most.

 

* * *

 

The second the door swings shut behind Pierre and latches with a _click,_ Grisha levels the man a glare that makes him shrink back a step. 

It takes him a full minute to forge the swirling torrent of fury and frustration into a fine damascus of determined intent. When he does, he smooths a hand along the prototype dart-cannon, checking for damage, leakage—anything but sheer perfection—and turns to Annabelle with a frigid expression.

"Do something like that again," he says, speaking slowly so her _feeble, irrational, insubordinate_ mind could understand, "and I will _feed_ you to it." He sees the muscle of her jaw jump, but she says nothing. He waves a dismissive hand at her. "Get out of my sight. Both of you." They scramble away like rodents, and Grisha looks at his prize specimen.

It's writhing on its back in agony, steam spewing from it as the acid burns through its veins, tissue struggling to heal in the wake of the highly concentrated corrosive compounds pumped into its system. Simple chemical reactions, and yet so powerful...

His fury is not gone — it sits inside him like embers, smoldering quietly but no less burning — but hearing the Titan roar and scream brings a small, quiet smile to his face. 

"Do you know why they named this place Olympus?" He asks. "Back when it was just a small refuge, no more than a walled-off camp?" He knows the creature won't respond — can't even comprehend his words, but he continues anyway. "Because they knew we would beat your kind and take back our planet." He looks down and inspects the weapon in his hand again with a reverence at his own genius contraption. "The tale is older than your entire species, carried by word of mouth and carved into stone. The mighty beings of Mount Olympus overthrowing the all-powerful Titans after the Titan Cronus devoured all of Zeus's siblings. Trapping them in hell for all eternity." He chuckles "It's a very good story. I'm particularly fond of the ending, myself."

The Titan's head lolls to the side, glazed-over eyes meeting his as the creature gasps for air pitifully. He gives the miserable beast one last smirk before taking his leave. "I'll see you tomorrow..."

 

* * *

 

"Are you _kidding_ me!?"

Eren manages to stifle a smirk at Jean's outrage as he proudly shows off his test score. It's not a perfect hundred, but it might as well have been. After all, it's four points higher than Armin's.

Some of the questions had been difficult to answer without giving too much away, and others had forced him to remember faulty information that the humans believed to be true, but it was still leagues better than the first exam. It had been much easier to remember small facts about Titan behavior when he knew _why_ they acted the way they did. And it was much easier to remember the trivial questions about Titan anatomy when he had _seen_ what the inside of a Titan actually looked like in his curious youth. Or to answer questions about effective Titan killing equipment and maneuvers when he had _felt_ that equipment cut and burn his skin in Olympus and had _dodged_ those maneuvers countless times in the field. 

A part of him feels a bit cheated over those few points he lost (after all, it's not _his_ fault the humans were working with incorrect information) but he can't find it in himself to be upset. 

Instead he just looks placidly at Jean's red face as the human huffs.

Mikasa knocks him on the back of the head and tells him to stop being so smug. She's smiling too though, and he can tell she only half-means it. He glances at her test score and beams at her high grade. His humans had gotten very good scores as well, and he can't help but feel a swell of pride for them. 

_ Speaking of his humans _ , Eren thinks as he catches Armin's scent, turning in his seat to see his small friend approach their table with a handful of papers. He recognizes the exam, but also some smaller papers. It takes him a moment to realize that they're letters. He knows from Armin's grin when their eyes meet that his eyes have lit up.

He holds up the letters. "From Carla."

"How is Maria?" Eren asks, almost vibrating in his seat with excitement. 

Armin smiles, "I haven't read it yet." 

He and Mikasa immediately make room for him on the bunk until they're all pressed close to each other, as Armin opens it and starts to read aloud, voice just loud enough to carry to him and Mikasa without disturbing the others. Eren's heart swells when he hears about how big his little Maria has grown, and how Carla gets to visit with Hannes every other weekend. Apparently Hannes is weathering his training well, despite his protests, and they all stifle laughs when Carla writes about how fit he's gotten. 

When Armin says that Maria has said her first word— _Mama_ —while they were gone, he can't help the mournful trill that escapes him. He's been trying to get better at keeping his nonverbal noises in check, but he feels the slip is justified. Armin and Mikasa look at him then. "We missed it." He says, and the disappointment is his voice is palpable. Armin puts a sympathetic hand around his shoulder, and the contact does make him feel better, despite the dull warning bells—quieted over time—about the proximity of the touch to his nape. 

The letter is only two pages long, but it ends with a promise to visit with Maria for the holidays in a few weeks, and Eren can't contain his excitement at the thought. It's been so long since he's seen them and he can't wait to wrap his humans into his arms again and introduce them to his new friends and tell Carla about everything that has happened.

How quickly the past year has gone by...

 

* * *

 

It's not often that they get taught how to defend against humans. Many off the recruits and even the soldiers tend to view it as unnecessary. Even now, most of the recruits are treating the training session like a recreational activity. After all, how could humans be considered a legitimate threat when the Titans still stalked the open plains?

Mikasa knows differently. Humans are just as much of a threat as Titans. 

She tosses the blunt dummy knife in her hands and squares her shoulders, watching her partner scowl at her. She knows he wants to take it easy and slack off like the rest of them, but she has no intentions of letting him. She rushes him with the knife as he tries to block and take the weapon from her, but his form is sloppy. If this had been a real fight — a real knife — she could have gored him where he stood. 

Instead, she tosses the knife to him and waits for him to rush her.

Over her partner's shoulder she can see Armin, and a flash of worry shoots through her at the way he's hunched over, breathing heavily. He's been trying, she knows he has, and his form is nearly perfect. It's just that he's paired with Franz, and the man's sheer size is no match for his novice skills. He doesn't have the controlled strength needed for overcoming such a large opponent in close quarters. 

Armin flaps a reassuring hand in Franz's direction before straightening up with an exhausted smile. Franz gives him a sympathetic look and they begin talking—too far for Mikasa to hear clearly—and gesturing at each other, mimicking certain parts of the maneuver. 

She turns her attention back to her partner as he lunges, trying to catch her off guard. She disarms him quickly, drawing an angered grunt from the recruit. Turning the knife in her hands, she looks over to where Eren and Reiner are sparring. While Reiner seems to at least be making a token attempt, Eren hasn't been practicing the maneuvers at all. Instead, he lunges at the bigger man, relying on ferocity and sheer strength to try and rip the knife from Reiner's grip, which Reiner more of the time returns in kind. They've been having mixed results thus far.

The result is a series of heavy impacts and shouting as they scuffle for the knife every few seconds. She turns her attention away to focus on her partner, rushing him with knife bared, but she still hears the _thud_ and Reiner's yelp followed by an irritable "Quit fucking _biting_ me!"

When she and her opponent part, knife still firmly in her grip, she glances over to see Eren twirling the dummy knife with a smug grin and Reiner rubbing his hand, which is indeed covered in bites and scratches from Eren's less-than-noble fighting style. Not that Reiner was any better. Just a few minutes earlier, he had pinned Eren under his substantial weight, winding him as he tried valiantly (and futilely) to keep the weapon from Reiner.

As much as she cares for Eren, she can't help but be a bit angry with him. If he doesn't take this training more seriously, if he doesn't actually _learn_ the maneuvers, he's putting himself in an immeasurable amount of danger. Just because he has his strength doesn't mean that someday it won't fail him, and then—

"If you two keep relying on brute strength and dumb luck," says a bored, feminine voice from the sidelines, "You'll be sorry when you end up against someone stronger and luckier than you." Mikasa turns to see a blonde woman lounging beside the training field. It takes her a moment to remember the woman's name, and she belatedly realizes it's the first time she's heard her say anything aside from necessary pleasantries. 

Eren and Reiner turn to look at her—Annie, she remembers at last—with twin express of affronted confusion. It's Reiner that speaks first, after crossing his arms solidly over his chest. "Says the person who hasn't done a lick of training all day." Eren nods in agreement, expression pinched into a grumpy pout. Mikasa tries not to find it endearing.

She raises a delicate eyebrow, expression still inexplicably bored-looking, and strolls over to the two. Eren narrows his eyes in suspicion when she curls her hand at him in a beckon. "Come on." She says, and it's not a taunt. A taunt implies smugness or bravado or...any kind of emotion, really. But Annie's voice is void of inflection, implying only a cool sureness in her ability. "Attack me."

Eren shares a look with Reiner, and when the bigger man makes an encouraging motion, he steels himself to charge, feet planted and shoulders locked in a way that he and Reiner hadn't been actually implementing since the beginning of the training. And then he's off, and Mikasa has all but forgotten her own partner as she blatantly watches the exchange.

Surprisingly enough, it doesn't help. Annie moves faster than Mikasa had anticipated by her previous indolence, and in the blink of an eye Eren is a heap on the ground and Annie is inspecting the dull blade in her hand. Her hooded eyes don't even glance Eren's way, as if she's already forgotten the exchange. She does flick her eyes to Reiner though, if only to toss him the knife and raise an eyebrow in silent challenge.

At first the big man looks more than ready to refuse, but Eren growls out a low "Do it, Reiner." from his place on the ground, and he gingerly prepares to charge the woman in front of him.

Mikasa turns back to her opponent with a subtle smirk, which only grows at the heavy _thud_ and groan from behind her. 

That would teach them.

 

* * *

 

Eren's mind can't comprehend what's happening right now. 

Maybe it's the blood rushing into his head, pressing heavily against the inside of his skull. Maybe it's shock. Maybe it's the sudden whiplash of going from sitting upright to hanging upside-down by his hips.

Whatever it is, Commander Shadis' voice sounds miles away, although he can see the man crouching next to him, trace amounts of spittle leaving his mouth from the force of his yelling.

"What are you doing, Eren!? Straighten yourself up!"

In front of him, a crowd of recruits await their turn, some with sympathetic looks on their faces, others laughing and smirking. He turns his head to look down the row of 3DM aptitude tests and his gut clenches. Mikasa sits with complete steadiness, legs bent just enough to make it look as though she's suspended in water, face peaceful. Beside her, Connie and Jean struggle a bit, wobbling but upright and Sasha sits just as carefree as can be, rocking herself gently.

Try as he might, he can't get the straps and clasps to cooperate with him. He tugs and leans until his stomach muscles begin to strain with the effort, but nothing he does gets him upright. Shadis is still shouting at him, telling him that if he doesn't straighten up— _right now, recruit!_ —he's of no use to them. That he wouldn't even make good Titan bait. That he'll be sent off to the fields. 

The idea that he's gone through all of this, made promises, taken risks, and it all boils down to now. If he can't work 3DM Gear, there's no way he can join the Survey Corps. 

If he can't work this simple test, there's no way he can defeat all of the Titans.

_ This can't be happening... _

Eren stays at the training field long after the crowd has trickled out and gone to dinner. His humans — his _friends_ — all leave him with sympathetic pats on the back or shoulder.

Sasha gives him a thumbs up and Connie says "It's alright man, there's still tomorrow, yeah?"

_ Tomorrow. _

He has one night to learn how to balance by shifting inside a web of straps and buckles.

A treacherous voice in his head whispers that maybe it's just not possible. That maybe Titans just don't have the senses of balance that humans possess. That maybe he was doomed to fail from the start.

He shakes his head with a disgruntled chirrup. He _can_ do this. He _has_ to do this. He won't break his promise to kill every last Titan that threatens his humans. 

He approaches the training equipment with a scowl, buckling the cables to his harness and moving his legs and torso to feel how the straps move and slide with each motion. 

Eren hates this harness. 

He'd thought shoes were confining, but _this?_ He can feel it in every movement and motion. Every time he leans one way or the other. 

It reminds him of being strapped down for experiments.

A gentle, familiar voice speaks up, drawing himself out of his head. "Need some help with the winch?"

It speaks for his state of mind right now that he didn't even notice that Armin and Mikasa had stayed behind with him. "Oh..." Eren looks from Armin to the practice contraption. "Yes please."

Armins smile is kind. "You forgot it took at least two people didn't you?" Eren flushes with embarrassment, but Armin doesn't seem to be making fun of him at all.

Mikasa speaks up then, leveling him with a firm look. "Just follow the basic and you'll be able to do it. Don't think about being fancy or anything. Focus on your front and back balance, then slowly place your weight into the belts on your waist and feet."

"Don't worry about it, Eren. You can do it if you stay calm. Even I did it, after all."

Eren takes a deep breath and nods. He has a good feeling about this time. He feels more grounded. His humans are smiling at him and they _believe_ in him and he feels like he's gotten the hang of the straps. "Lift me up, Armin."

Amin smiles and starts cranking the winch and Eren feels his feet leave the steady push of the Earth. 

There's a moment of stillness where Eren hovers, not even daring to breathe, and he hears his heart pulsing loudly in his ears... 

The moment passes with Eren pitching forward and cracking his skull against the ground.

He hears his humans shriek and feels their hands on him. Armin is cradling his head and Mikasa is behind him, unlatching the cables from his harness and guiding his slump to the ground. His humans are speaking to him but there’s only pain in his head right now. He pushes Armin’s hands away from his head and presses his palm against his skull, grimacing when he feels the grinding of fractured bone. 

Gingerly, he feels around the top of his head, searching for wetness, and finds none.

_ No blood. Good. _

No blood means no opening. No opening means that all of his injuries are internal. Healing internal injuries the quick way doesn’t produce steam. And he doesn’t exactly feel like walking around with a fractured skull for the few days it would take to heal the slow way.

He still hasn’t figured out how to prioritize the healing of injures like the Female Titan, but he’s learned to control _how_ they heal pretty well. 

Still… 

“Armin. Please. Stop yelling.” 

Armin’s mouth shuts with a click and he tries to pry Eren’s hand away from the injury. Needless to say it doesn’t happen.

“’M fine” he mumbles at them, resting his head in Armin’s lap while he concentrates on keeping his skull together so the pieces don’t fuse wrong. It would take _hours_ to heal if that were to happen. 

"Eren, we should really get you checked out by the medic."

"No, Armin. I am fine." He winces as his skull shifts, pieces grinding together to fit _just right_. "Just need to rest a bit. Then I will try again."

He can smell the fear and worry coming off of Armin, especially pressed as close as he is. He puts his free hand gently on Armin's knee in a weak attempt at a comforting pat.

"There's no point in worrying about it," Armin says "you can just do it tomorrow."

Eren grits his teeth at that. If he can't do it with just his humans watching him, how could he possibly do it with everyone looking at him, with Commander Shadis judging him, ready to send him off to the fields.

"No." He would shake his head, but he's pretty sure he would be sick. "Have to do it tonight. Make sure. Too much risk." He bites his lip. "Or I will never be able to kill all the Titans." Not to mention he'd never be able to fly. He knew now of course that it wasn't _really_ flying, but it was close enough.

Mikasa kneels down beside them, turning his face towards her gently enough not to cause injury, but firmly enough not to allow any argument. "You should forget about that altogether."

"What?" She couldn't possibly mean that.

"I'm saying you should give up trying to be a soldier. Fighting isn't about simply throwing your life away." She's looking right at him and her steely eyes lock with his.

Of course. How could he have forgotten? 

Mikasa and Armin...they'd never wanted to join the Military in the first place. They'd only wanted imunity from the Reclamation effort and more importantly...to keep him safe. It seems like so long ago that they were trying to convince him to stay behind. That it was too dangerous to go off and fight Titans in the Survey Corps. They were only here because of him, and they still didn't want him in danger. Even after everything they've been through, everything he's accomplished since coming here, they still don't think he's capable of killing Titans.

"You cannot convince me to quit." He says, breaking eye contact with her. "I saw what happen that day."

"Still." Mikasa says, and her voice is so _weary_ , "It doesn't matter _how_ determined you are."

The shock of what she said is enough to make him look at her again, fighting a wince as the quick motion makes fire lance through his head. "What? Why not?"

"Because you don't get to decide if you're fit to be a soldier or not."

Eren grits his teeth, shoving himself into a sitting position. Without another word, he gets to his feet and marches off in the direction of the barracks. Armin follows behind him worriedly, begging to at least let him bandage Eren's head. Eren lets him once they're back in the barracks, sitting in Armin's bunk.

Mikasa hasn't come in yet, and Eren buries the guilty feeling that wells up inside him. He _knows_ she only wants the best for him. He _knows_ she just wanted him to be safe. He knows he would do the _exact same thing_ given the chance. 

But he's still allowed to be angry that no one ever takes him seriously. Not his teachers or his team mates or even his _family_.

To them, he'll always just be the simple boy they found and taught to speak and dress and feed himself.

It's almost painful to keep from telling them just how capable he actually is. That he's killed more Titans already than all of Humanity put together. That he's older than them by decades. That he's already been through the horrors the world has to give. That he's _not helpless._

Armin's gentle fingers smooth over the knot he'd made, and he gives Eren a kind smile. "There. How does it feel?"

Eren gingerly prods at his head and the new bandage around it. The fracture has completely healed by now, and it's not as though he'll actually have bruising or swelling, so the bandage is pretty much useless. The intent behind the dressing is nice, though.

The rest of the evening is spent with Eren trying to get as many tips and tricks as he can from his barracks-mates. 

It's not as revealing as he'd hoped. 

Eren's fist shakes with the effort he's expending not to put it through Jean's face...

Eventually it's Reiner and Bertolt who are the most helpful. They talk while walking through the forest surrounding the camp, eventually coming upon a clear lake tucked into a sloping valley. He stays long after the others go to bed, looking out over the water, hearing it slosh gently against the shore. It's not the crashing waves of the ocean surf or the roar of a waterfall, but it's enough to lull his mind into a sense of calm. 

The bright moon casts splinters of silver on the ripples of the lake, and it's the kind of ethereal beauty that mesmerized him when he was younger and spent his time wandering. It's been too long since he's just sat down and appreciated this sort of thing, caught up in pretending to be human and trying to get into the Survey Corps. 

Tomorrow will go well, he knows it.

 

* * *

 

The air is hot and dry today, and Eren can feel sweat pooling on the back of his neck. He's hyperaware of the cables tethered to him and the people watching him. The other recruits who hadn't managed to balance yesterday are either waiting or hooked up already, and Eren makes nervous eye-contact with a few of them. 

A single bead of sweat rolls down Franz's temple as an instructor hooks the big man to the winch, and Eren gives him a nod full of more confidence than he feels. Franz gives him a tight grin and a thumbs-up, but Eren can tell he's nervous as well.

Armin and Mikasa are in the front of the crowd gathered around the machines, and Armin gives him a smile full of encouragement. Mikasa, despite their small spat the night before, also gives him a look of assurance, and he can't help the small smile that brings to his face.

"Eren." Commander Shadis says, stepping up to him. "Are you ready?"

"Yes sir!" Eren says, a surge of determination rising up in him. 

_ I can do this _ , he tells himself, _I can!_

"Begin!" Shadis calls, and a blonde recruit Eren recognizes as Thomas nods and begins turning the winch. Eren feels his feet lift off the ground again, and feels his heart hammering away in his chest like he's being chased by an entire nest of fresh, bloodthirsty Titan hatchlings.

He doesn't dare to breath as he manages to balance, harness creaking with every minute corrective motion. 

He sees the tension in his barracks-mates turn to excitement as he manages to hold his balance, and he can't help the wide grin that splits his face.

_ I did it! _ _I'm doing it! I-_

Suddenly he wobbles and when he moves to correct himself, he can feel the moment when he loses all balance and pitches backward.

He hears gasps from behind him before they all fall silent, the quiet hush only broken by a set of heavy boots approaching him.

"N-not yet!" He pleads, wiggling in his harness and hoping for a miracle. "I still can do it!"

"Let him down." Shadis says, ignoring him.

Thomas, behind him, makes a noise in the affirmative and lowers Eren to the ground. When his knees hit, he doesn't have the willpower to keep himself from slumping onto his hands and knees. 

"I..."He murmurs, unable to get out any more than that. He failed. He couldn't pass even a simple balance test. He would be sent back to the fields now. He feels so...

_ Useless... _

"Wagner!" The Shadis calls, commanding enough that it cuts through Eren's fugue-like state. "Switch belts with Eren."

"Y-yes sir!" Thomas says, removing his belt and handing it to Eren.

Eren takes it, brows furrowing, and looks to the Commander. At the intense look he receives, he doesn't bother questioning the order, unclasping his belt and attaching Thomas' in it's place. 

Shadis nods at the other recruit, and suddenly Eren is being hooked back up the contraption and lifted into the air.

It takes a moment for the shock to wear off, but when it does, Eren looks down at his motionless body. He's hanging perfectly still through almost no effort, the only motion being from the gentle breeze blowing through the courtyard. He squirms a bit to make sure, and he's not sure if he wants to laugh or cry at the way he's able to freely move while suspended.

He looks to Commander Shadis, who is staring intently at Eren's old belt, now in his hands. He looks up from his scrutiny to level a no-less-intense gaze at Eren. 

"Your equipment was defective." He says. "The belt you were using had a broken clasp." And then quieter, more to himself, "I've never heard of this part breaking before; I guess we'll have to add it to the maintenance checklist..."

He hears murmuring in the crowd, and his barracks-mates are chattering excitedly to each other.

"Th-then..." Eren manages, "Am I fit to be a soldier?"

Shadis doesn't smile, or anything quite so drastic, but there's a definite air of approval surrounding him as he nods. "You pass muster." He says "Train hard!"

Eren's face breaks into an insuppressible grin, and he throws his arms in the air with a _whoop!_ of glee. 

When he looks back to the crowd, he locks eyes with Mikasa and hopes she understands the confidence he's putting into his gaze is not ignorant bravado.

_ I did it!  _ He thinks. _What do you think of that? I can do it! I can fight the Titans! You don't have to coddle me anymore!_

 

* * *

 

Hannes grunts with the effort of getting his chin above the iron bar. Rough cloth — filthy with dirt and skin oils — chafes at his hands, and he's grateful for the callouses he's built up. The first few months here had had him nursing more blistered hands than he'd ever encountered. 

His commander joked that he should get used to treating his fellows now if he planned to be a medic, and Hannes had only smiled and hoped he'd never have to use his skills in that way. He'd learned to deal with sickness and a few broken bones here and there, but... 

He doesn't know if he has the stomach for tourniquets synched tight around severed limbs and bones in splinters and trying to explain to grieving friends and comrades why he _just couldn't put them back together—_

Hannes shakes his head to rid it of the grisly images that have plagued him ever since The Fall. _Goddess,_ has he become morbid...

When he finally drops to the ground with a huff, he sees one of his barracks-mates waiting for the bar and tearing at the uneven callouses on his upper palm with his teeth. "Your body makes those for a reason, y'know." He says, shrugging back into his jacket. 

The recruit just grins and punches him in the shoulder on his way to the bar. "So you keep tellin' me, doc."

"Hn."

Hannes takes a drink from his canteen and leans against one of the posts supporting the equipment, waiting for his turn again.

"So doc," he starts, pausing with a huff as he strains up the bar, "What's your plan for the Holidays? Gonna spend some quality time with the wife?"

Hannes sighs, "I wish." He takes another sip from his canteen. "She's going to another training camp to visit the kids. They're not allowed visitors except around this time of the season, so she hasn't seen them in about a year."

The other man pauses his workout to give him a critical look. "I thought your kids were just little'uns."

Hannes feels a wry smile twist up his mouth. "The one my wife and I made is about 18 months now. The other three are some kids from Shiganshina that we sort of...took under our wing." He huffs a laugh, "Not _entirely_ sure how it happened actually, but I wouldn't change any of it given the chance."

"Well then, I hope to meet your ducklings one of these days." He says with a grin, resuming his exercise. "You said they were all in one of the other camps, huh? Don't worry, I'll help you watch their backs when we're on the Wall."

Hannes doesn't answer for a moment, smile slipping off his face as he fiddles with the lid to his canteen. "Actually...they're set on joining the Survey Corps."

The other soldier halts his motions again, looking down at Hannes with a bug-eyed look. "All three?" He nods and the soldier gives a low whistle. "That's rough, man." He looks like he wants to say something else but doesn't quite know how to word it, and Hannes understands. 

When it's his turn again he gives a grateful nod at the sympathetic smile and gentle hand on his shoulder, and climbs up to the bar.

 

* * *

 

Eren is bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waits at the gate to the compound. Civilians have been trickling in all day, but he's waiting for two in particular. It's been so _long_ since he's seen them, and he can't wait to show them the camp and his friends and everything he's learned. He wonders if Maria will still remember him after all this time. It's been so long after all, and she's so very young. Armin had warned him that she could have completely forgotten him, and he can't help the nervousness that sweeps through him at the thought. 

Eren looks around and sees many of his friends giving relatives and civilian friends hugs and talking with them excitedly, while others stand just within sight, looking over the jovialities with sad smiles or forlorn looks, and Eren's heart goes out to them. Just over a year apart and he feels like he's lost part of himself. Distantly he remembers the simplicity of his life before all of this. Before his humans became so important to him that their absence was like a physical ache inside him. He can't even remember how he filled his time when he wasn't spending time with his humans. His friends. His _family_.

Never in his life has he encountered a Titan he wanted to spend time with, not like he does now. He _likes_ sitting cuddled with Armin as he reads aloud from one of his books, and losing track of time while training with Mikasa, both of them looking up to see that a dusk had crept up on them without either noticing. He _likes_ watching Carla cook up something he'd caught while she tells stories of her wild youth, and watching as Hannes bounces little Maria on his knee as he looks adoringly at his wife as she tells her tales. He _likes_ his little competitions with Reiner and running with Sasha as a show of solidarity and even his spats with Jean. 

All of those decades before feel so empty to him now in a way they never did before. He never once found fault in his isolation, but now...it rings of time utterly _wasted_.

He's broken out of his thoughts by Armin tugging eagerly on his sleeve, and his bleak thoughts melt away like frost in the sun. 

"There they are!" Armin lifts his arm in the air and waves it around to get Carla's attention, and when Eren finally spies them, he is promptly skewered with shock.

_ Maria got big! _

Carla makes her way through the crowd with the caution of someone holding their child in a crowd filled with rambunctious soldiers, but she eventually reaches them, and her smile looks wider than her face when she throws an arm out for a hug, the other balancing Maria on her hip.

Eren grins as all three of them rush forward to wrap her in a firm embrace between them. Carla laughs and smooths a hand one at a time through their hair. 

"Oh, I've missed you three!" she says, and they pull all back to look at each other. "Look at how much you've all grown!"

_ "Us!?" _ Eren cries incredulously, gesturing at the child on Carla's hip.

Carla just smiles, bouncing her daughter a bit. "Do you want to hold her?"

No sooner has he started nodding than his arms are full of warm, squirmy Maria. The youngling is grinning at him, and Eren can't help but coo at the tiny teeth poking out through her gums. The milky smell is gone from her scent, but she still smells like her and Carla and more faintly of Hannes. He presses her close, resting his cheek on top of her soft head, blonde hair tickling his chin. 

"Ah?" Maria asks, hand gripping the collar of his shirt. He doesn't know what the question is, but she seems at ease being held by him, so he doesn't worry too much.

"You maybe not remember me," he mutters to her as he rocks side, bouncing her a little, "but I am Eren."

Maria gurgles, and he takes it that his introduction has been accepted. 

They stay like that for a while before Eren looks up to see the rest of them looking at him. He flushes at the attention, but they just smile at the two of them. He looks away, only to catch sight of Sasha and Connie walking towards them in the crowd.

When the two recruits reach the small group, Connie waves at Carla. "Nice to see you again, ma'am!"

Carla looks at him, "Oh, um." She's drawing an obvious blank, but Connie just laughs. 

"No worries, we only met once, I just have an eye for faces. Plus, being with these three kinda gave it away." He jerks his thumb in their direction.

"We were there when they signed up for the military." Sasha supplies, and Carla's face clears.

"Ah yes, I remember now. Sorry, that day was pretty hectic." She sweeps aside a lock of hair that had escaped her side ponytail with a sheepish look.

Connie snorts. "Tell me about it. Eren took years off my life with that little stunt he pulled!" He elbows Eren good-naturedly, and though he means no harm, Eren can't help the fear that floods through him at the roughhousing.

"Connie! Be careful of Maria!" He scolds, clutching the child tighter to his chest.

The wide-eyed look on the recruit's face is full of apologetic panic. "Crap! Sorry. She's alright, yeah?"

Eren nods and he hears a booming laugh from behind him. 

"So this is the famous Maria, huh?" Reiner grins, and Bertholt shoots Eren a soft smile from next to the blond. 

"You weren't exaggerating. She really is adorable." Bertholt coos, turning to Carla. "Which means you must be Carla? These three talk about you and your husband a lot." 

Carla looks pleasantly surprised at that. "All good things I hope."

Reiner scoffs. "Are you kidding? The way these three tell it, you were sent from the goddesses themselves."

The affection that crosses Carla's face is worth the twinge of embarrassment at the other man's words. "The feeling is definitely returned." A mischievous grin crosses her face then, and she looks at the recruits around her. "So...tell me about these troublemakers. I want to see just how much they've been leaving out of their letters."

Reiner's laughter masks the affronted squeaks of Eren and Armin as well as Mikasa's grumbling. "Boy have I got some stories for you, lady."

 

* * *

 

Levi looks over the report with no small amount of irritation. Apparently one of the training camps warrants a visitation this year. 

He flicks his gaze to Erwin, who is sitting at his massive desk as per usual. "And you want _me_ to do it?" He asks with a scoff. "I have better things to do than talk to snotty brats."

Erwin's face remains impassive. He reclines slightly in his stiff chair and regards Levi for a moment. "I thought it would give you something else to focus on." 

Levi suppresses a flinch. Erwin had been mostly silent about his... _stability_ since returning from the outside. It was nice. He had hoped their interactions would stay that way. "I'm fine," he grits out.

"I never said you weren't." Erwin says, his tone revealing nothing. "But you _are_ distracted. It's affecting your ability to work."

And that...that's what does it. 

He can argue all he wants about how he _feels_ , about how he's _handling things_ , but he can't argue with results. His focus is completely off. He spends hours a day on the training courses or at the gym, and he keeps fucking up. Missing grappling marks, misjudging swings, snapping thin blades with misangled strikes...

He glares at the papers in his hand. "Fine." He snaps. "I'll talk to the snotty brats." He looks down at the report and skims it for names.

_ Arlert, Armin; Ackerman, Mikasa; Bott, Marco; Braun, Reiner... _ he stops reading, but there are quite a few more listed. 

"We have quite a gifted batch this year." Erwin says, and Levi waves him off. They're still brats.

His eye catches on a name hand-written at the bottom in Erwin's impeccable script. He flicks through the report to the back few papers, and sure enough, there's the name again, but in a completely different context.

"What's with this one?" He asks, pointing to the name scribed below the others. _'Eren'._ No last name.

A knowing smile spreads over Erwin's face. "Ah yes, I had the good fortune of running into that young man on my last visit. He has quite the potential."

Levi raises a skeptical eyebrow. "The kid suspected of cheating on the second exam?" He turns to the other page as if Erwin had forgotten, and sure enough, the recruit has been flagged. 

Erwin waves a dismissive hand. "That's just a precaution. It's not every day someone goes from a ten percent to a ninety-six. And he may have answered one or two of the red flag questions correctly, so they just want to make sure there's nothing suspicious happening. To be fair, the total average for this exam went up substantially from previous years."

Levi keeps his eyebrow arched and after a silent minute, Erwin sighs in defeat.

"Try not to scare him off. It's not every day that we find someone quite so eager to join the Scouting Legion."

_ Aaand the truth comes out,  _ he thinks wryly. "Maybe I _should_ scare him off." He mutters, guilt and horror attempting to claw their way through the very sturdy part of his mind he's locked them away into. 

Erwin's face is back to being impassive, and his skin itches under the considering look. After a few moments, a small smile twitches at the man's mouth. "He had some interesting things to say about you." Levi shoots him a questioning look, and Erwin nods his chin in the direction of the report. "Eren. Apparently you two met during The Fall."

"Mm. I met a lot of people during The Fall. Don't remember most of them."

Erwin gives an indolent shrug. "Maybe he'll jog your memory."

"Yeah, maybe." The conversation seems to have traveled away from anything substantial, so Levi decides to end it by snapping into a salute and dismissing himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, you all are so amazing. Thank you so much for your patience. <3


	14. To Be Sublimely Great, Or To Be Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let myself get distracted from academic work this semester, which is why this fic and my tumblr both have cobwebs on them. Thank you all for being so patient with me! It means the world to me <3 
> 
> On a related note, I received some *phenomenal* comments on this latest chapter, and quite a few nearly brought me to tears with how lovely they were. I...there are no words. Thank you <3
> 
> So without further ado...
> 
> Enjoy~

Mikasa smiles and buries her nose into the bright red scarf around her neck. It's lopsided and lumpy and pretty much a length of holes stitched together, but it's also soft and warm and made just for her. She smiles at the memory of Eren handing it to her the night before Carla and Maria went back home. Apparently he'd wrangled Christa into teaching him, which is something Mikasa would have paid to see.

The gritty blade-sharpener Armin had gotten her is tucked securely in her jacket pocket, ready to be used if necessary, and she smiles as she runs her knuckles over the bulge it makes.

Her brothers know her well.

The whirring sounds of practice echo around her as she walks. They've been practicing with 3DM Gear for a while now, and she likes to think she's gotten the hang of it pretty well. Armin is still struggling with it a little, but Mikasa isn't too worried. Eren absolutely loves the 3DMG training. She's never seen such a blinding look of joy before she saw Eren soaring through the trees toward the large wooden cut-out targets. And as always, he almost never seems sore afterward.

 _Some people get all the luck,_ she thinks as her stomach muscles twinge. She's sore in places she didn't even know she _had_. The first time she'd expressed that thought aloud, Armin had nodded with her, and despite the fact that he could probably name exactly which muscles they had exhausted, all he'd said was _'yeah'_.

Eren had looked at them with sympathy.

Mikasa shakes her head at the memory. It's hard to remember sometimes that Eren hasn't always been with them.

She thinks about how much he's grown since they met, and she shakes her head with a wry smile.

* * *

 

"It just doesn't make sense!" Armin says, shaking his head as he pours over their standard issue book about Titans. They're in the grass by the training field again, and Eren can feel the sun shining down on them in a way that makes him want to bask in it all day. The red glow of light shining through his closed eyelids is soothing in a visceral way.

"What is it?" He asks, not moving from his graceless lounging position. He can feel the grass between his toes and he wiggles them just to relish in the feeling.

"This book is saying that Titans don't attack animals." Eren knows from the tone of Armin's voice that this is the end to his pleasant, peaceful break. "But when they came into Shiganshina, they were in a...a _feeding frenzy._ If they're so hungry, _why_ don't they attack anything else? Why fixate on humans if there were whole _forests_ of animals and plants out there to eat?" Eren frowns at the frustration in his friend's voice. He knows Armin hates not knowing the answer to something more than anything, and Eren always feels guilty withholding the answers to Armin's questions.

"I do not know." He lies. "You should maybe ask Commander Shadis. He seems to know many things about Titans."

Armin grumbles something, and Eren cracks an eye open to give him a look. "I already asked him." Armin admits with a huff.

Eren sits up to look at Armin. The blond human's face is troubled in a way that makes guilt eat at the pit of Eren's stomach.

"You maybe find out someday." He says, resting a hand on Armin's shoulder. "Until then time, the book will not tell you. Now, the sun is warm and we have no assignments." The words make Armin smile.

With one more reluctant look at the book, he flips it closed. "You're right."

"Of course I am right. I--"

Movement from across the field catches Eren's eye, and he glances up to see what it was...

And _oh_ is he glad he did.

A pair of spit-shined boots trod along the dirt road of their camp with a steady, even march as a familiar green cape catches in the breeze, billowing out behind the slender human wearing it. Eren's hungry gaze takes in every detail he can from this distance, from the crisp ascot around the human's neck to the stiff way the human holds himself.

_Levi._

Eren has no idea what his face is doing, but apparently it catches Armin's attention, who turns around to see what caught his eye. When he does, a small noise of recognition leaves him. "Is that...?"

"Levi Ackerman..." Eren finishes, eyes still glued to the tiny human, who has now stepped up to Commander Shadis' quarters and knocks tersely on the door. It's only a few moments before Shadis answers and Levi is ushered in, the door closing and cutting off Eren's view.

When he looks back down, Armin is looking at him strangely.

"What?"

"Nothing." Armin says. "It's just...you usually have trouble with names. And faces. Especially with people you haven't met."

Eren averts his gaze guiltily at the observation. "But...I _have_ met him." Eren says, ripping up grass with his toes to avoid fidgeting too much.

Armin nods. "When the recruiters came." His face does something strange at that.

"And Shiganshina." Eren says quietly, looking down at his hands.

He hears Armin move, but he doesn't look up. "What? You never told me about that."

Eren shrugs. "There a lot I do not tell you about that day."

Armin is quiet for a while, and Eren knows there's something he wants to say. He finally settles with "Why not?"

And really, Eren asks himself that every day. Why is he still keeping this from his humans? Would they really turn against him? He likes to think they wouldn't, but...they would still be afraid of him. He would never have the closeness he has now. They would never trust him completely.

Armin wouldn't curl up on a bunk with him and teach him to read from one of his many books. Mikasa wouldn't let him run his fingers through her hair on quiet evenings or trust him not to lose control during a sparring session. He would never be allowed to hold Maria again. They would be wary of his every move, waiting for him to act like the Titans they know. He would go back to spending nights alone.

He doesn't want that.

He never wants that.

So instead he settles for the truest evasion he can muster. "It not something you want to hear. Not something I want to talk about."

Armin's face is a picture of pity, and while Eren is glad his friend cares, he doesn't want Armin to feel like he's carrying the burden of Eren's secret. He changes the subject in a much more abrupt way than Armin would have managed, and nods in the direction of Commander Shadis' quarters.

"Why you think he is here?"

Armin frowns at the change, but didn't speak up against it. "He's probably looking to convince some more people to join the Corps."

Eren makes a hum of agreement and frowns. "Why he always doing recruiting instead of fighting?" Levi is the best Titan killer Humanity has seen. Why would he be doing menial work like this instead of helping to thin the horde?

Armin tips his head in consideration. "Hm. I don't know. Maybe because people respect him? Look up to him? He's like...a symbol."

Eren finds himself nodding before he even consciously decides to do so. It makes sense, he supposes. After all, _he'd_ been captivated by the man's presence before he'd even spoken to him.

"We should be getting back." Armin says, giving the door Levi disappeared through an unreadable look. "Mikasa wanted to go over some maneuvers with us."

Eren grunts in agreement, heaving himself up.

They haven’t even reached their destination when a soldier comes to them, ordering Eren to follow her.

* * *

Eren can't sit still.

His little one-- _Levi--_ is sitting right across from him. The small human has a scowl on his face and is drumming his fingers on the table in a way that screams disappointment, but he's _here._ Eren is near to bursting with questions, and it takes every bit of self-restraint he has not to blurt out _do you remember me?_ He feels like he's swallowed lightning, and the only way to let it out is with the kinetic motions of his fidgeting.

Levi, in comparison to Eren's energized state, is almost entirely still. His chin has remained propped delicately on the knuckles of his hand since they sat down. If it weren't for the staccato tapping of his nails on the table, the steady metronome of his breaths, and the occasional blink, Eren would have been able to convince himself that the officer had been replaced with a statue.

It's a bit unsettling to be honest.

Eventually, after what feels like an eternity, Levi speaks.

"I think you know why you're here."

Eren blinks. When the soldier had come to fetch him, he hadn't been told much beyond where he was going and who he was meeting with. In all honestly, he hadn't cared much for _why_ after he was told that last part. He shakes his head, and Levi's eyes narrow.

"The longer you deny it, the longer we sit here. I suggest you don't waste my time, kid."

Eren frowns, trying to think of something he could have done to get in trouble. He thought he'd been doing pretty well actually, following both the rules and the customs the humans here had set out. Mikasa and Armin don't have to correct him nearly as much nowadays.

"Really?" It's not a question. "You can't think of _anything at all_ that we might have a problem with?" His face is hard and serious and the implications make Eren's stomach freeze solid.

He could definitely think of _something_ that the humans would have a problem with.

Something that would warrant a visit from the most proficient Titan killer behind the Walls. But how could they even have figured that out? Had he really been so obvious? So careless?

"You should know; the military takes cheating very seriously. We can’t have soldiers running around endangering civilians because they don’t know jack shit about Titans."

"...What?"

_Cheating?_

_That's_ what this is about? Eren feels relief wash over him, but indignation is quick on its heels. "I never cheated!"

Levi just gives him a disappointed look. "The second exam is specifically designed so that recruits can't get above a ninety-four. Helps us weed out the cheaters. "

"I did _not_ cheat." He says firmly.

Levi sighs. "I was afraid you'd say that." He flips open the folder sitting on the table in front of him, sliding out a few papers and looking at them. "Right. So because you're a stubborn little shit, I have to test you again. Ready?"

Eren straightens up in alarm. "What?"

The Lance Corporal glares at him over the papers. "I assume you know how this goes, yes? I ask you a question, you answer it. If it matches your previous answers, you're good to go."

" _Now?"_

"First question: How many muscles are in charge of jaw movement in a Titan?

Eren swallows. "Four."

Levi's eyes narrow infinitesimally at the quick answer, but he doesn't respond other than to move to the next question. "Can Titans swim? Yes or no?"

"No."

"What happens to a Titan when its head is removed completely, assuming the weak spot remains undamaged? Does it die, stop moving until the head grows back, slow down, become stunned for a few seconds, or does nothing change?"

"Stop moving until head grows back." He's taken a cannon blast to the face before. It's an unsettling experience all around.

"Which of these maneuvers is considered the most optimal for a group of two or three soldiers against one Titan: The Weinrick's lunge, the Staltman's front, Underhanding, or a T-Stop?"

This time Eren pauses for a moment. Naming maneuvers still gives him trouble. The classes had been very thorough about maneuvers, though. Which was which, when to use what, who to use it with, and he tries to remember those lessons. Underhanding was a singular maneuver, not a team one, a Staltman's front could only be used with a large team of ten or more, but the other two were both small group maneuvers, and Eren chews his lip as he thinks.

The lunge is risky. While deadly when done right, it requires a lot of focus and communication, and there isn't much guarantee that it will work at all. He's seen soldiers execute it in the field, and many of them miss by just a hair and completely flub the maneuver.

The T-Stop on the other hand...He's been on the receiving end of a T-Stop before, and he almost lost his neck when he tripped over the cable and crashed to the ground, left to the mercy of the other soldier on the team. If he'd been just a second slower, he wouldn't be here now. It's simple, but it works.

"T-Stop."

Levi flicks the paper down to meet his eyes for a moment before returning them to the paper with a disgruntled expression.

"Can Titans climb? Yes or no?"

"Yes."

Levi's mouth twitches.

"Is fire an effective defense against Titans? Yes or no?"

"No."

They continue on like this for every question on the exam, and it's an arduous hour before they finally finish. Throughout the testing, Levi has given him a series of looks ranging from suspicious to affronted. After one question in particular, the soldier had stared him down for what felt like a minute before continuing. Those steely eyes looked like they could see right through the human disguise he wore, and for a moment, he thought he must have somehow given himself away, but he has yet to face the man's sword, and he tentatively calls that a win.

* * *

Over the past week, Armin has noticed a shift in Eren. And if he's honest with himself...it worries him.

It doesn't take a genius to realize that it has something to do with Levi Ackerman. The man arrived a fortnight ago and something has kept him here, watching over training sessions and having long talks with Commander Shadis. When he first came, Eren had been nothing but a ball of excited energy--perking up whenever he caught sight of the serious-looking man and casting his eyes around searchingly whenever he didn't.

Lately, however, he's seemed almost _deflated_. He stares off into space and frowns--a little wrinkle of contemplation dimpling his brow--and he doesn't seem as enthusiastic about training as he usually is.

He knows that Mikasa has noticed as well, and even some of the other recruits have commented on his reticence.

Eren isn't known to stew over things like this, so Armin is hesitant to bring it up. Usually Eren comes to him or Mikasa with problems, and Armin doesn't know how to broach the subject in a way that won't make Eren close up any more than he already has.

Unfortunately, Eren's problems aren't the only ones that he's been dealing with.

"I'm telling you, Armin," Mikasa says sternly, releasing her grappling hooks and dropping to the ground, "you're overthinking it."

Armin frowns at her. "I don't exactly think it's safe to _under_ think hurtling through the air at high speeds."

"No. Mikasa is right." Eren says from where he's leaning against the trunk of a thick tree. "You are too... _shy_ with it. You are not trust your instincts enough."

"You're doing the basics well." Mikasa says softly. "But your body has to move faster than your brain on these ropes, and that's where you're struggling. You have to relax and let yourself _react._ It's physical, not mental."

Armin scowls. "Fine."

Mikasa smiles and puts a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to go get more water and then we'll start practicing again."

Armin nods as she leaves, sliding down to sit at the base of a tree, shuffling to get comfortable among the twisting roots. "It feels like you’re asking me to do this blindfolded." He says, attempting to inject some humor into his voice.

Eren shrugs with a cheeky grin and walks over to punch him in the shoulder before sitting next to him. "It is not _that_ bad. We just saying to trust your..." he waves his hand through the air as if to stir up the word he's thinking of before he finds it. " _reflexes_ more.". 

"What if my reflexes aren't that good?"

Eren turns to him, face set in that steely determination that fits him like a well-loved coat. "Then trust that we will catch you."

He looks down at his boots at that. A huff of air leaves him. "You know, for someone who only learned to speak a few years ago, you sure are good at finding the right thing to say."

Eren smiles at that and reaches up to ruffle his hair. "I had a good teacher."

Armin shoots him a small smile and they sit in silence for a while, listening to the susurrus whisper of the leaves above them and the distant sounds of training, before Eren's soft words break it.

"You still..." Eren wets his lips and tries again, gazing off into the undergrowth. "You still want to see all those things in your grandfather's book?"

Armin nods, confused. "Yeah, of course. It's been my dream ever since I found that dusty old thing."

Eren nods slowly throughout his answer, but doesn't answer for a while. "What if..." he presses his lips together until they turn white. "What if you saw them. The sea. The fire mountains. But they not...what if they not like you expect? If you wait so much years to see them but they are different than you thought they would be."

Armin blinks at him, trying to figure out where this is coming from. "Well...I...guess I don't know. Better-different or worse-different?"

Eren thinks about his answer for a solid minute before saying. "Neither. Both. Just...different." 

His face crumples into a ball of frustrated contemplation and it suddenly strikes Armin like an epiphany.

"Eren, is this...is this about Levi?"

The speed at which Eren whirls around to face him is startling, but Eren looks stunned.

"How...?"

"I'm observant. Eren...talk to me. What's been bothering you?"

Eren lets out a rumbling growl that's full of frustration, and Armin winces at the _thunk_ his head makes against tree behind him. "A lot of years ago I saw him fighting Titans, and...you have not seen him like that, but he is very good."

"Yeah, you mentioned you saw him during The Fall."

Eren hunches in on himself a bit. " _Met_ him during The Fall. He help to get me safe. _Saw_ him before."

Armin frowns. Kids aren't allowed on the Walls. And there's no way the soldiers took him with them _outside_. "When did you see a Titan fight before--?"

" _Before._ " Eren cuts in, giving him a look through the corner of his eye. It's a warning if Armin ever saw one, so he doesn't pry, despite the fact that his curiosity is eating at him.

"Sorry. Continue."

"I saw him fight. It was...” He trails off but the look on Eren’s face speaks the words he doesn’t know. From the look of it, _mesmerizing_ or _enrapturing_ would probably be safe bets. “And…I always wanted that I could meet him."

Armin nods. "And now you have and he's not what you expected. He's..."

"Different." Eren agrees.

"I was going to say 'a complete tool' but yeah, different works."

Eren shoves him, but he's grinning so that's a plus.

"Not all bad, though. I can tell."

Armin snorts. "If you say so."

The sound of footsteps catches their attention, and they look up to see Mikasa with three canteens. "Sorry I got caught up, I ran into Annie and we got talking.” Armin ignores the faintest blush on her cheeks. “Did I miss anything?"

Eren shakes his head quickly. "No. Just talking."

Mikasa raises an eyebrow. "Well then let's go. Armin's got to get the hang of this before the exam."

Armin groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the quote "Ambition is an idol, on whose wings great minds are carried only to extreme; to be sublimely great or to be nothing." by Shakti Gawain


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my children, I am back!
> 
> (My toes did little squidgy things at some of the wonderful and amazing comments you all left on the last chapter. You all are the best and I can't believe how awesome you are!)
> 
> Enjoy!

"They're not bad this year." Levi says, gazing out over the training cadets.

Shadis side-eyes the man, and a twitch of mirth gets lost in the serious lines of his face. "Careful." He says. "That was almost a compliment."

Levi snorts indelicately. "I've been known to give them out on occasion."

"Hm." The older man intones, electing not to respond to that. "Don't take this the wrong way, but...why are you still here? I was under the assumption that you had finished what you came here to do."

"Yeah well, you know what happens when you assume." He says, distractedly, eyes narrowing infinitesimally at something outside before he turns to look back at his conversation partner. "Tell me about them." He says, jerking his chin in the direction of the unit grunting their way through PT.

"Which ones?"

"Any that come to mind." Levi says with an indolent gesture

Shadis sighs with a hum, pausing to consider the cadets. There were quite a few good kids this year, and he acquiesces to telling the Lance Corporal all about them. He tries to focus on their strengths, but includes some of the areas they need work on as well. He's already been compiling a mental list in his head of who he thinks will thrive in which branches, despite the fact that it's not really up to him.

He talks for a long time--long enough that the cadets have moved to the other field to work on to practical training with 3DMG.

"And even more surprisingly," he says after a while, thinking of three cadets in particular, "We actually seem to have a few that are eager to join the Survey Corps."

A shadow crosses Levi's face for the briefest moment before it's gone. "Yeah, Erwin mentioned something like that." He frowns and suddenly his expression turns constipated. "Speaking of, what is the deal with that Eren kid?"

Shadis chuckles. "He's definitely an odd one. How did the exam go?"

Levi looks mutinous. "He did great." He admits, grudgingly. "Even on questions he had no fucking business knowing the answer to."

"He's good at that." Shadis muses. "Surprising people, that is. When he first got here, I didn't think he'd last a month. He had some of the lowest academic scores I've seen in all my time as an instructor. The only thing keeping me from booting him out on the spot was his physical scores." Shadis huffs. "He doesn't look it, but the kid's strong as an ox."

"Sure." Levi scoffs, and Shadis just side-eyes him again.

"Believe what you will." The Commander sighs. "Regardless, he surpasses his peers when it comes to Titans and combat. Reminds me of someone I know..."

Levi's eyes narrow. "Don't even start."

Shadis shrugs but doesn't push the point. "You know...Eren was in Shiganshina when it happened. He's actually seen Titans before. Is it really so baffling that he would have the means to make an educated guess about them?"

Levi frowns. "That's what's bothering me." He says. "He didn't guess."

"What?"

"He _knew._ With a hundred percent certainty. He was _absolutely_ confident in every answer. Even Hanji isn't that confident about some of this shit. It pisses me off."

Shadis raises an intimidating eyebrow. "Most things piss you off."

"One of these days, Shadis, I _will_ punch you in the throat."

There are people, mostly the recruits who pass through his camp, who wonder if Commander Shadis even knows how to laugh. He often prefers to add fuel to this rumor instead of dispel it, but that's what he does now, when he lets out a throaty bark of a laugh.

"You can try."

* * *

The wind rips its claws through Eren's hair as he careens toward the target in front of him, and he can't help the _whoop_ of elation that escapes him as he presses into his 3DMG straps and his momentum shifts, sending him into a spin. It's not nearly as graceful nor effective as the typhoon of bladed edges and righteous fury he's seen Levi perform, but it's exhilarating all the same.

He doesn’t stop to watch the foam wedges fall to the ground, instead speeding along towards the next target. Other recruits fly past him and under him as he rushes through the forest. A fifteen-meter wooden cut-out looms through the trees, and he speeds off toward it, only to swerve at the last second when he sees Connie rush forward to nab the pseudo-Titan for himself.

A vicious instinct to snap his jaws and growl at the smaller human rises up in him at the stolen kill, thick like bile in his throat. The instinct is familiar, it's what kept him alive back when he was still wandering around in his Titan form. Now, however, it's entirely unwarranted. If he's honest with himself, it scares him a little.

He hurls himself up up up, into the canopy, away from the others to get some space. He shakes his head with a snarl, trying to jog some sense back into himself. Their third and final exam was only a week from now, and the instructors had informed them it was going to be a simulation of what they'd face in real combat. He couldn't afford to have his competitiveness morph into something more vicious.

His irrational burst of rage quelled, he allows himself to drop down, searching for his next target. 

_It will be fine,_ he tells himself.  _Everything will be perfectly fine._

* * *

Eren swallows thickly as he stares up at the bound Titans.

Their chains rattle as they thrash violently, trying to get to the humans in front of them. The two eight-meters are standing, but there's an eleven-meter between them whose chains aren't long enough to allow it to get to its feet. It strains against its binds as it tries to rise from its knelling position, to no avail.

He shudders as he sees the massive screws that have been drilled through the bottoms of their jaws and into their palate, bolting their mouths shut. Strings of saliva drip from between their bound teeth, and the eleven-meter roars viciously despite its muzzling.

Many of the recruits take steps back at the sound, and he can smell the fear pouring out of them. Eren simply stares back at the eleven-meter. He's _eaten_ Titans bigger than this one.

Their hands have been removed as well -- metal caps placed over the stumps and screwed into bone to keep them from regenerating. He knows that they're safety precautions -- grabbing and biting being most Titans' go-to attacks -- but there's a sickness roiling in his gut at the sight.

They look pitiful.

Did he look like that? In Olympus, chained down and kneeling before humans...

Commander Shadis appears in front of them, trailed by three humans in green cloaks. Eren can smell Levi among them, as well as two other vaguely familiar human scents that he can't quite place.

"This examination," the Commander starts, looking over them, "is neither easy, nor safe." He waits until the murmuring quiets. "You are under no obligation to complete this test if you do not find it within your ability to do so. That being _said_ , if you choose to leave now, keep in mind that you are giving up your potential career in the military."

Eren hears humans behind him making upset noises, but the Commander doesn't seem fazed by them. "We will not allow you to take up the mantle of protector of humanity against Titans without knowing that you can face one."

One of the eight-meters growls wetly behind Shadis, who turns around to face it. Eren watches, impressed, as the human stares the Titan down without fear.

"Each Titan will be shadowed by a handler." He gestures at the three Survey Corpsmen behind him, "However, they will not interfere at all with the examination unless they believe you are in immediate danger. Try not to let it get that far."

Commander Shadis continues to explain the objectives and rules of the exam: Find and report at all ten checkpoints scattered throughout the forest, do not attack or hinder each other, do not leave the perimeter of the forest, do not kill the Titans unless you or another student is in immediate danger, and don't die. Anything else is allowed.

"This exam tests not only your ability in battle, but your ability to work as a team, to evade a Titan opponent, as well as your skill in incorporating everything you have learned thus far into practical use under stressful conditions like the ones you'll be facing in combat. There will be soldiers monitoring your progress throughout the forest and will be the ones to determine your grades for this exam." He turns to Levi and nods.

The three soldiers with crossed wings on their capes each go to stand next to a Titan. Eren isn't surprised when Levi steps up to the eleven-meter.

"You have a three-minute head-start." Shadis says, "Good luck."

* * *

 

Eren grunts as a branch hits him on his way past. Mikasa and Armin are close behind him, unwilling to leave his side, and Connie and Sasha have tagged along too. They swing through the forest with their 3DM Gear twinging sharply around them. The others have taken their own way through the forest, and Eren hasn't seen many of them since the beginning.

He warbles unhappily.

"Eren! Mikasa!" Armin shouts, landing on a thick branch and pointing into the distance. "I see a checkpoint! Over there!"

He doesn't need to say it twice. The red flag is limp in the still air, but its vibrant color is visible to anyone with a keen eye. Eren _doesn't_ have keen eyes, (the humans weren't wrong when they said Titan eyesight wasn't quite as good as a human's) but Armin is more than capable of picking up his slack.

The soldier manning the checkpoint turns to them as they approach and land heavily on the wooden platform.

"Names!" He barks, pulling a clipboard from his belt. He jots them down when they relay them, and they're about to take off again when they hear a crashing through the trees.

Eren can smell it before they see it, and he knows it's one of the eight-meters. "Go!" The soldier barks, and they do.

Swinging through the trees while being chased is much harder than when not. Their movements are hurried and they collide with each other as they struggle to find grappling anchors and gain momentum from their swings without getting tangled.

For one heart-stopping moment, a collision with Sasha sends him spiraling to the side before he can deploy his leading line. He hears Connie and Armin shout, and it's only Mikasa's quick hands and well-timed swing that keep him from crashing to the ground.

All in all, it's a very distracting endeavor.

Which is probably why none of them notice.

"Look out!"

Eren look towards the sound just in time to see Jean crash into Connie. Their lines tangle as they spiral around each other, and Jean grunts when he can't pull away.

" _Damnit!"_ The two men tug at the metal cords and only succeed in making themselves spin. The rest of them all go to them at once, trying to help untangle them.

"We have to hurry!" Armin says, as he tries to work a loop off of the branch above them. "One of them is right behind us!"

Jean kicks in the air. "Yeah well the fucking _big one_ is right behind _us!_ "

Eren lifts his face to the air to scent it, and sure enough, the ten-meter is close by. Without hesitating, he maneuvers his way to where their grappling hooks are embedded deep into the wood and yanks them free with a grunt.

Anchoring his own hook into the rough bark of the tree nearest to him and slowly unreeling the cable, he lowers Jean and Connie to the forest floor where the others can help them untangle themselves. They haven't been on the ground more than a second when a scream pierces the air.

Franz, who had apparently been part of Jean's group, stiffens. "That's Christa!"

Eren spares only a quick glance at Mikasa and Armin before launching a cable in the direction the scream came from. Whether they follow or stay to help their friends is up to them.

He breaths in and his breath catches. He smells blood and the third Titan. They were supposed to be spread out through the forest!

Apparently something went wrong with that plan, because when he enters the clearing, the last Titan turns to look at him. Which means that if his friends didn't hurry, they would be surrounded by all three Titans.

With a _whirr_ and a _thunk,_ a brunette human swings into view with Christa's arms around its neck. He recognizes the human as Ymir, and knows without a doubt that Christa is safe in her protective grasp, despite the red staining both of their clothes. Reiner and Bertolt are right behind them, and they just barely dodge a metal-clad stump as it attempts to dash them to the ground. He sees the Titan's handler too, high in the trees with swords drawn in apprehension.

"We heard screaming!" Eren calls, and curses when he too is forced to flee from the Titan.

"Christa fell out of the trees and _-woah-_ one of her blades jammed into her leg." Bertolt explains, nimbly avoiding collision with Reiner.

"We're headed to one of the med stations now." Ymir grunts and when she swings over, Eren sees that they're slowly moving in the worst possible direction.

"Not that way!" Eren shouts gesturing towards the way he just came from. "Other two Titans that way!"

"Damnit!" Reiner grunts, changing direction swiftly. "I thought they were supposed to be spread out!"

"I know!" Eren shouts, jumping out of the way of another club-like appendage. "But they are not!"

Suddenly, there's a deafening, groaning _crash_ from behind him, and his gut sinks at the cacophony of shouts and piercing screams that follows. "Go!" He says, waving the group towards safety. "Draw this Titan away and get Christa to medic!"

They share a look and nod. Reiner and Bertolt swing out in front of the Titan to get its attention so that it won’t follow Eren back to the others, and he doesn't stay to watch the rest as he darts off towards his group. The last thing they need is _another_ Titan to fight.

The sounds of terror don't stop the whole time it takes him to get back.

When he finally sees them through the forest, it's chaos.

The Titans are frenzied in the way they only get when the scent of human is close in the air, and the recruits are putting their all into dodging metal stumps and giant feet. One of the trees has been felled, splintered trunk lying on the forest floor. That must have been the crash he heard.

He gasps when he sees a flash of green cloak peeking out from under one of the branches. It takes him a second to realize it's the eight-meter's handler, and the human is scrambling to get out from the branch pinning it down. It's useless though, since the branch is still attached to the trunk's impossible weight. Connie is standing by the handler and is futilely attempting to saw through the wood with one of his unserrated swords. His face is a grimace of terror, but he doesn't move from the soldier's side.

He looks around for Levi, wondering why he hasn't seen fit to take out the Titans. Surely this qualifies as enough danger?

He finally reaches the chaos, and it's only then that he sees his little human.

Levi is jumping between low branches, making a slow upward progress, and shouting at the recruits. "Springer! Get away from Gunter, that is a fucking _order!_ Arlert! Dodge! Remember your defensive maneuvers!"

That's when Eren sees the frayed metal hanging from Levi's 3DM Gear. _He's snapped a cable!_ Suddenly the Lance Corporal’s slow progress up the branches makes sense. He's trying to get to a height that he can strike from.

Suddenly Eren sees two things happening at once.

The eight-meter has its sights set on Jean, who swings through the center of the clearing right over Connie and the pinned soldier. If no one stops it, the Titan is going to crush them in its pursuit. Then he sees the eleven-meter barreling towards Levi with a single-minded determination.

He can't stop them both in time.

A swift glance around shows that all of the other recruits are either injured or helping the wounded, and none of them see what's going to happen.

His first thought is to shift. To take on his true form right here in the middle of a mass of Titan hunters, but he can't. The forest is too dense, and he can't be sure that he wouldn't trample one of his friends under his giant feet or bump them against a sturdy tree and crush their fragile bodies. It's too dangerous.

The world seems to slow as his mind races, as he tries to think of something _anything_ that could stop two Titans in their tracks.

_Think, think, think!_

And then it hits him.

Something all Titans are predispositioned to fear.

He hides from view behind the tree he's standing on, sucks in a deep breath, prays he can still make the sounds he hasn't made since his hatching...

and _shrieks_.

Shrieks a clicking, reptilian rasp that hikes into yips and whines. It hurts his throat and sends a shiver down his _own_ spine.

The forest itself seems to freeze and Eren's heart throbs loudly in his ears. He keeps his eyes screwed shut and hopes the hatch-call was convincing enough. Titan hatchlings are like piranhas immediately after hatching, and they can and will strip every scrap of flesh from any living thing in seconds. No Titan with the barest inclination towards self-preservation would wish to be near a nest full of freshly hatched younglings. He only hopes it works.

The sound of both Titans fleeing feels like exhale.

When he re-enters the clearing, he feels relief strike through him as he assesses his humans.

Eren hurries to where Connie is still sawing away at the branch with his now-dull blade. When he places a hand on Connie's, the human looks up and stops. He gestures for the other to move away and grabs ahold of the branch. With a heave it snaps it along the groove Connie had sawed into the wood, and he hears the soldier groan in relief.

"You," The big human says to Connie it sits up with a grunt and rubs its chest where the branch had sat heavily, "Are either really brave, or really stupid."

The human rubs a hand over his stubbly hair and laughs, breathy and a bit hysterical. "The second one."

"Well, thanks. I owe you one. I owe you a lot." The human turns to Eren and stops, squinting for a moment. "Do I know you?"

Eren sniffs the air, and sure enough, the human smells familiar.

He can't quite place where he knows the human from until it says, "Holy shit, I remember you! You were in Shiganshina."

_'Oh!'_ It's the human that took him from the battlefield. How long ago that seemed now...

"Gunter." Levi interrupts, having made his way down to the forest floor. "Can you fight?"

The human grunts, standing and thumping a salute against his chest. "Of course, sir. I was just pinned."

"Good. We need to get back to our charges." Levi says with a nod before his gaze is drawn back into the forest. Then he turns his gaze on Eren. "You came from that direction, right?" He lifts a sword in the general area of Eren's hiding spot. Eren swallows thickly when he realizes that Levi is looking for what had made the hatch-call. He has a fleeting moment of terror that the soldier has found him out. He nods. "Did you see anything? Anything at all?"

It's difficult to think of something to say with those steely grey eyes piercing into him, but somehow he manages to get his brain under control. "N-no."

Levi doesn't say anything for a moment, holding his stare. " _Something_ just scared two Titans away. I need to know what it was."

He struggles to think up a response, but it's then that Connie butts in. "Wait, Eren, you went off after Christa! Is she okay? What happened?"

"Oh! Yes! Other eight-meter is that way." He points, and flinches as everyone in hearing distance reaches for their swords. "Reiner, Bertolt, and Ymir were to draw it away and take Christa to med station. She has small injury. Not serious."

Connie sighs in relief, and Levi frowns, looking back into the forest. "We need to make sure Erd doesn't kill that one. It might have been the one to..." He snaps into focus, looking at the other soldier. "Gunter, tell the next soldier you see that we need to capture Erd's charge alive for study."

Eren shudders at that. He's well aware of what 'study' entails, and he doesn't envy that Titan one bit.

Levi turns to the rest of them. "Congratulations, brats. This exam just got easier. Now get back to work." There's a collective whimper from the recruits, and Levi turns to walk away, probably to get a new cable for his 3DMG. "I'll have a medic come here to asses any injuries but you all look fine to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's always that one teacher that doesn't accept almost dying as an excuse not to take a test...
> 
> (Also, if you're wondering what a Titan hatch-call sounds like...imagine a mix between the sound gekos make when they're super pissed off and that cool yippey sound zebras make and you should be good.)
> 
> See you all next time! :D


	16. das ross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> I'm back!!!!! This chapter had actually been completed a few months ago, but literally a few minutes before I could post it, my computer died a tragic death and took every past, present, and future chapter of this story with it to its watery grave. I was devastated, but you all helped me through it! (Seriously some of the comments on the last chapter were so amazing and beautiful that I ended up crying on my bathroom floor for like 5 whole minutes because I was so happy.) 
> 
> Also, if it helps, I'm *way* happier with the second draft of this chapter.
> 
> And O.M.G I had two (TWO!) people ask after the last chapter about making fanfic/fanart of this fic, so for future reference: YES! OMG YES! Write/draw to your heart's content! And send me a link so I can see! :D Seriously yes (did I already say omg?)
> 
> Warnings: People dealing with OCD and (a minor, minor character) dealing with the loss of an immediate family member.

Eren tries not to gape as he looks around. The building itself isn't anything impressive, having stuck with the bland monotony that seems to permeate the decor of all military buildings, but Eren can't help but reach out his fingers to trace along the walls as they walk.

Gunter is ahead of them, telling the group of new soldiers about what to expect once they've settled, and Eren vacillates between hanging on his every word and ignoring the human completely to gaze in wonder at his surroundings.

After all this time...he's _finally_ made it to the Survey Corps.

 _We've all_ _made it_ , he thinks as he looks over his humans. There are many missing, of course, and while it sends pangs of longing through his heart, he contents himself with the knowledge that they're safer. Those who decided upon the Military Police and the Garrison might be far from him, but at least they're far from most of the danger as well.

The building is emptier than he had expected it to be, too. But then, everyone must be busy with their important missions. He wonders if there's a surveying team outside the walls right now, working their hardest to save humanity.

Eren grins. He can't wait to be a part of one of those teams...

"And this," Gunter says, drawing Eren from his thoughts. His hand rests on the handle of a heavy looking door and the man shoots them a quick grin as he pushes it open, "is what it's all about."

Eren, in his eagerness to see everything there is to know about the Survey Corps and its headquarters, happens at this moment to be in the very front of the crowd. As such, he is also the first one to see what Gunter was referring to. The glare of sunlight is harsh after being inside for so long, but once it fades, his stomach sinks in his gut like a stone.

The eight-meter from their exam lies bolted to the center of a wide courtyard.

\-- _strapped down, unable to escape--_

Humans stand around it, murmuring to each other.

_\--muttering, always muttering, always communicating in ways he couldn't understand--_

He watches, breath caught in his throat as one of the humans picks up a long pike. It has a wicked-looking tip on the end of it, and it scrapes against the table when the human retrieves it.

_\--tables and racks and drawers, all filled with strange, cruel instruments. Always worse than the last. Which ones would the humans use today?--_

The human hefts the pike.

_\--the metal always glints wickedly in the wake of those harsh lights as the human turns it around in its hands--_

And jams it into the Titan's eye.

_\--pain. Such immense pain. What could they possibly be gaining from these tortures?--_

The Titan screams. Its desperate bellow makes the walls shake and the ground rumble beneath them.

_\--his throat hurts from the strength of his wailing. He barely remembers what it was like to be quiet anymore--_

"--ren! _Eren!_ Eren can you hear me? What happened? Eren!" Armin's face swims into view, pale and worried.

Mikasa touches his face and he sees her there, too.

"Breathe," she murmurs, her expression tense, "can you breathe for us?"

He gasps for air, and it _burns_ in his lungs, making him realize that he's been holding his breath for far longer than he should have been. The others aren't paying attention, they've already gone into the courtyard to watch the Titan experiment continue.

"Good, just like that," Mikasa says.

The Titan is still screaming.

"I-" he gasps, swallowing against the knot in his throat, "I are...I _am_...fine. All fine." He gives them a weak smile and it feels pathetic even to him.

" _Fine?"_ Armin asks, incredulous, "You're not fine! What even was that? You..." Eren doesn't hear the rest, his eyes are focused far behind him, on the human with the spear.

The human is...

_Crying._

Why...?

The human rips the pike out of the Titan, throwing it back onto the table. Another soldier approaches it, laying a hand on its shoulder and murmuring something quiet. The human whirls around, batting the comforting hand away.

"Of course I'm _crying_ , Moblit!" He hears the human shout, "Can't you see he's in _pain?!"_

Eren's brain stops. He blinks, trying to comprehend the sentence, but he can't. He stands, brushing away Armin and Mikasa's concern.

Or... _tries_ to, at least. Mikasa isn't having it, and grabs hold of his arm.

"Eren!" She says, but he only lays a hand over hers.

"It were just a…bad memory, Mikasa," he says, prying the hand off of his arm, "I am fine now." With that, he makes his way into the courtyard.

The strange, crying human has both hands on the table and is staring intently at a clipboard filled with hasty scribbles and figures. The pike steams steadily as the Titan blood coating it disintegrates, and Eren wrinkles his nose at the smell. At the sound of his footsteps, the human turns on him with a snarl.

"You don't _understand_ , Moblit, I--" The human breaks off and blinks, "Oh. Sorry, I thought...Well I thought you were someone else."

Eren smiles hesitantly, "That is okay," he says, and the human squints at him.

"Actually, now that I think about it...I don't know who you are at all."

"Oh! I am Eren." He beams at the human. "I am new soldier."

The human laughs. "I'll say! Don't think I've seen a smile like that since I came here. I'm Hanji, by the way. They/Them pronouns if you please."

Eren blinks at the instruction. If all humans introduced themselves like that, it would've saved him so much trouble...

"Hello!" He says with a small half-wave.

"Oh! And this is Alexander!" They say, gesturing at the Titan. Eren looks back to see that the Titan's eye is still steaming but seems close to being functional again. He looks back at Hanji.

"You...name the Titan?" he asks hesitantly.

Hanji sighs wistfully, "I name all of the Titans I've worked with."

Eren makes a thoughtful, wordless sound. This was definitely an interesting human, to anthropomorphize Titans in such a way. "Why ‘Alexander’?"

Hanji grins wickedly, "Oh Eren, I am _so_ glad you asked."

And with that they launch into a fascinating story about long-ago human cannibals that Eren can't help but listen to with wide eyes. He had no _idea_ that there were human cannibals! How interesting! He's just started to wonder if he's ever met a human cannibal when Hanji finishes up their story. They give him an impressed look.

"Huh. You look neither repulsed nor terrified."

Eren almost feels affronted. As if he would have any grounds to judge someone for eating their own kind.

"No! It was interesting." He says instead, and glances over at Alexander, "Only..."

Hanji raises an eyebrow, which quirks their goggles at an odd angle. "Only what?"

"Alexander is...not cannibal. Eats humans."

Hanji blinks, "That's...huh...that's actually true I guess. Oh well, too late now."

Eren is quiet for a moment, "If you...find Titan that eats Titans...what will you call it?" And okay, maybe he's toeing the line with that one, but he can't _help_ it. He's curious as to what this interesting human will say.

The look Hanji gives him is a little too piercing for his liking, "Actually...it's funny you say that. Because we actually _have_ seen one of those."

Eren gives a start. "What?"

They didn't see _him_ did they? He'd been so careful...

They nod, "Yep. I've seen him myself. Only outside the Walls though, I never managed to bring him in. He used to follow the excursion squads around sometimes."

_Curse these humans with their sharp eyesight._

Then suddenly Hanji smiles sappily, "He had the most _beautiful_ smile..."

_What?_

Eren feels his face flush at that. He’d never expected to hear a compliment like that from a human. He...actually has nothing to say to that. Instead he says, hesitantly: "So...what you call it?"

Hanji's smile drops into a grimace. "Ah. Well. You see. We actually made the mistake of letting Levi name that one. And he's not...well he's not the most _creative_ horse in the pen, and so when he saw some Titan go berserk and start killing other Titans he just called it 'The Berserker' and called it good." Hanji scoffs, "I mean what kind of name is that? You can't just walk up to someone and say 'Hi! I'm _The Berserker_ , what's your name?'"

If he's being honest, Eren doesn't really care about _what_ the name is. Because...well...the humans gave him a _name_. _Levi_ gave him a name. And that makes his stomach flutter.

He's about to mention that the name isn't _so_ terrible and that maybe the Titan would actually _like_ it and feel really happy that the humans thought to give it a _name,_ when suddenly Alexander lifts its head and sniffs the air. It looks around with dull eyes that have only just finished healing and huffs periodically. Eren tries not to think much of it until the Titan's eyes lock on him, staring him down as a whine bubbles in its throat. Recognition flashes in its dull eyes and it resumes its sniffing.

So he still smells like a Titan...interesting. He'd always wondered about that, but it's hard to get a good read on one's own scent. It's probably lucky for him that humans have such abysmal senses of smell.

Hanji peers at the Titan curiously, and takes a step forward. "What is it Alexander? What do you smell?" The scientist grabs their clipboard from the table and takes another step forward, marking down the anomaly. "Moblit!" Hanji calls, "Look, I think he smells something!"

Eren tenses the moment the Titans tears its eyes away from him, honing in on Hanji. He lunges forward, grabbing the scientist by the neck of their jacket and hauling them back. Not a moment too soon, either, as the massive jaws of the Titan snap shut where they'd been standing not long ago.

"Hanji!" The human Hanji called Moblit shouts, sprinting over to them. "What the _hell_ was that!?"

The scientist doesn't respond, preferring to burst into laughter, "You almost got me, Alexander!" They say between gasps, "Oh man, I almost fell for that one!"

"Hanji!" Moblit insists.

"Oh calm down Moblit, I'm fine aren't I? Eren here saved me."

The look the human gives him is a mix between exhausted and grateful, but Eren doesn't have much time to analyze it before Moblit storms off. Hanji watches the human leave with an unreadable expression before turning to give Eren a sheepish smile.

"Thanks for the save, by the way. You're pretty quick," Eren shrugs at the praise, but Hanji grabs his hand, "I mean it, Eren. I owe you one."

Eren smiles, "Okay."

Hanji grins and jerks their chin at the others, "Looks like your tour group is leaving. Wouldn't want you to get left behind."

Sure enough, when Eren looks back, Mikasa and Armin are loitering by the door as everyone else files through. He says his goodbyes to Hanji and sprints over to his humans. Armin and Mikasa don't say anything as they join the group headed to the mess hall, but Eren can't escape the probing looks they throw him.

* * *

 

 _Paperwork can kiss my pert fucking ass,_ Levi thinks, shoving away a stack of inventory forms and standing up for the first time in three hours.

His stomach had started to feel tight a while ago, but he'd persevered, hoping to at least finish everything that needed to be done by the end of the week.

A futile hope.

Stopping only to readjust his uniform and make sure the door to his quarters is locked, he makes his way to the mess hall. The light coming in through the windows is getting soft, and it casts interesting shadows on the walls. As he walks, Levi can't help but absently admire the abstract patterns that cover the floor and walls like thick brushstrokes. He's just about to note to himself that it looks rather nice when he comes across a wall fixture that draws him up short. It's a clunky metal thing meant to hold torches, identical to the hundreds of others around the facility, except this one is _filthy._

There's dust in all of the grooves and ash coating the top and side. There's even a long strand of cobweb on it that floats gently side to side with every current of air.

Levi's eyes track the cobweb as it sways.

 _Just fucking leave it,_ he tells himself, _it's not worth your time. Someone will be by to clean it later, anyway. Probably. Maybe._

He takes a few steps forward, intent on leaving it be, and scowls as the motion disturbs the air and causes the cobweb to dance mockingly.

_It's not your fucking job. It shouldn't even bother you._

He makes it two more steps before stopping. Just knowing that it's _there_ and _disgusting_ will haunt him. It's already one of the most prominent thoughts in his head. He won't be able to get any _work_ done because _this fucking torch mount_ is filthy.

A muscle in Levi's jaw twitches once, twice, and then he's turning around, whipping a kerchief out of his jacket pocket, and commencing on the infernal thing. He curses it, then whoever's job it was to clean it in the first place, then himself for being unable to just leave it the fuck alone.

He scrubs it furiously, breaking up the dust and ash and that _goddessdamn_ cobweb.

When he finally deems it clean enough, he folds the kerchief so that all of the filth is on the inside and takes off, tossing the kerchief in the first laundry chute he sees. It will make its way back to him. That's what monogramming is for.

The noise coming from the mess hall, when he finally reaches it, is a fair share more than he expected. It's not so late that he'd expected it to be empty, but it's not usually _this_ full. Opening the door provides some clarity, as he sees old and new soldiers mingling.

_Ahh, the newbies._

He scans the mess hall, recognizing a few faces from the training camps. His eyes zero in on the corner where Hanji is babbling excitedly and gesturing wildly at some poor, trapped newbie. He debates with himself for a while before he decides to be a generous leader and go rescue the poor brat.

Levi's eyes flick to the floor as he walks to make sure he doesn't step in any spilled food or drink, but he makes his way to the corner table quickly enough.

"--oh you should have been there, it was so exciting. Even Levi was impressed, and he's never impressed." Hanji is saying.

Levi raises an eyebrow at the scientist. "I'll be impressed the day you finally stop talking shit about me."

Hanji looks up, surprised and then grins at him. "Oh Levi, I'm sure I have no idea what you mean. I only ever speak the truth."

He gives them a rude gesture, and they stick their tongue out at him. "Anyway, don't you have an incident report to be filling out?"

Hanji groans. "It wasn't even an incident, though. It was a _non_ -incident. No one was injured!"

"Way I heard it, you almost got eaten."

"Key word: 'Almost'." They say, crossing their arms. "Thankfully, this strapping young man was there to help."

Levi looks down at the blushing kid and can't help but be startled at who it is.

"Hello again, Eren."

The kid beams at him. "Hello Levi, sir."

Levi nods and turns back to Hanji, who is giving him an unreadable look. "Listen. I had Moblit wearing a hole in my rug for ten minutes earlier today. Fill out the incident report and get your boyfriend the hell off my back."

Hanji pouts. "He's not my boyfriend." They point at him. "Yet. I'm working on it."

Levi gives them a dry look. "You can send me the wedding invitation right after I get that report."

"Like I'd invite you." Hanji teases, standing up and gathering their dishes.

He scoffs. "I'd be your best man and you know it."

Hanji purses their lips. "Okay that's true. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First I have to do _paperwork_." They grimace, and Levi chuckles.

Eren waves, speaking up and reminding Levi that he's there. "Goodbye Hanji! Thank you for telling me about your Titans!"

Hanji grins, turning around to walk backward through the crowd. "The pleasure was all mine, Eren. I can talk about my babies all day!"

Levi snorts. "They're not kidding. How long have they had you trapped?"

The look Eren gives him is vaguely confused. "Trapped?"

"You mean you weren't stuck here listening to Hanji ramble on about Titans for hours?"

"Oh! Yes. It was very interesting." Levi had almost forgotten the slow, deliberate cadence of the recruit's--well no, he's a soldier now--voice. Like he had to deliberately pick his words instead of just letting them roll off his tongue. "They had told me about all of the Titans they have...experimented on." A strange look crossed his face, but it's gone before Levi can decipher it.

"You like hearing about Titans?"

It's not unheard of for someone to enjoy long discussions about Titans--Hanji, for example could keep that conversation alive for days--it's just that...most people try their hardest to forget that Titans exist. Talking about Titans is like talking about plague or starvation. Unless there's news, best to just keep quiet and hope none reach you or a loved one. Even among soldiers, the talk is all about the kill. How best to attack and defend. Some soldiers like to drop their kill-count into conversation now and again.

But Levi knows from experience that these are not the conversations that Hanji generally engages in. Hanji likes to talk about their anatomy and their reactions. They like to tell stories about incidents that they find charming or funny. To them, each Titan is a unique specimen with quirks and idiosyncrasies. Hanji names them, _humanizes_ them to the best of their abilities. Most soldiers find it unnerving.

Eren nods with a wry grin.

"It is...interesting to learn how humans and Titans are different. We look much the same on the outside, but are much different."

Levi nods. _That much is true._

Eren bites his lip and Levi's eyes flick down to track the motion before he can stop himself. "Levi..." He doesn't reprimand him for not using his rank, though he couldn't say why if pressed. "Hanji mentioned...they said you had seen a Titan outside the Walls that was not like others Titans. They called it the Berserker?" Eren's eyes flick up to meet his before fixing firmly on a mug of water in front of him. "Would you...tell me about it?"

There's an odd, bashful note to the question, and Levi can't help but consider the request. He'd come for food, after all, and he's still hungry. Then again, maybe just this once, he could stand to eat in the mess hall and make conversation instead of grabbing his food and running up to eat in his room like some kind of rodent.

Levi feels his head dipping in a small nod, mostly for his own benefit, as Eren is still meticulously studying his mug of water. "Yeah, why not. Let me grab some gruel and I'll tell you what I know."

He resolutely _ignores_ the delighted smile that gets sent his way and takes off to grab some grub.

* * *

 

Armin had once mentioned--whilst deep in the type of philosophical mood that often overcomes those who find themselves unable to find sleep late into the night--that perhaps the reason bad things happen to people is that they themselves once caused bad things to happen to someone else. That maybe there was some force of nature that ensured that all bad deeds were justly punished.

Eren had been skeptical when Armin had first spoken these musings aloud, thinking that it must be terribly difficult to keep track of such a thing.

But now, as he focuses all of his energy on not breaking the mug clasped tightly between his hands, face likely as red as a ripe berry, he starts to wonder if maybe all of his bad deeds were coming due.

Levi's shoulders quiver only slightly as he coughs out a short bark of laughter, the left corner of his lips curling up in a fierce shadow of a grin--just large enough that it displays his teeth when he talks, gesturing lazily with his own mug and leaning back in his chair.

"--and so the Berserker is stumbling around blindly, steam coming out all over the place from this big ass gash on its face and foot damn near useless--flopping around, obviously broken--and I lose sight of it for a while because like I said, we're fucking _swarmed_ at this point, but next time I see it, its running at full tilt and trips _right over_ this little Titan--I don't know, maybe three meters?--and just _face plants_ right into the mud--so hard I feel my teeth rattle." Levi takes a sip of water, oblivious to Eren's mortification.

Oh _goddess_ , he had hoped that no being alive today had witnessed that embarrassment, and of all people it had to be Levi himself.

"But then, this other big one comes lumbering out of the woods towards us, and the Berserker is just starting to get up, but this new one doesn't give two shits and steps _right_ on its head, smushing it right back into the mud." Levi chuckles drily, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head, "I swear to Sina, it was the funniest damn thing I've ever seen in my life. I started laughing right there in the field. I'm surrounded by like thirteen of these assholes and I'm laughing so hard I can't even maneuver straight."

Eren closes his eyes and prays that the ground will swallow him up. He looks up when Levi makes a thoughtful noise. The man is looking around the mess hall, and it's only then that Eren realizes the place is deserted.

"Oh." They must have been talking for hours.

"Damn, what time is it?" Levi asks, mostly to himself, before looking back to Eren, "You should probably be getting to bed, or else you'll be dead on your feet tomorrow."

Eren nods and stands, gathering his dishes. "Thank you."

Levi quirks an eyebrow at him. "For what?"

Eren shrugs one shoulder, gaze skittering to his hands before making their way back to Levi. "For telling me about the Berserker. I liked hearing you talk of it."

The other man blinks at him. "Any time, kid."

He grins and leaves to deposit his dishes in the receptacle. He hesitates at the door, looking back at the soldier. "Goodnight, Levi."

Levi quirks his lips in a bare approximation of a smile. "'Night, kid."

When Eren gets to his quarters, he replays their parting over and over again in his head as he curls up between Mikasa and Armin. The higher-ups had no qualms with them sharing a room once they explained that they were essentially siblings, and Eren is grateful once again that Armin had known all the right things to say to keep them together.

His heart skips a beat when he thinks of how the hours had flown by while he and Levi had talked. The human could be abrasive and a little crude at times, but he was no less interesting because of it. In fact, Eren finds it... _charming_. Other than his embarrassment towards the end, the conversation they'd shared had been easy and had a casual familiarity that Eren hadn't expected so soon.

The thought warms him as exhaustion tugs at him, lulling him to sleep. His limbs loosen and his eyes slip shut, and the last conscious thought in his head is the sound of Levi's rough laughter.

That's when the screaming starts.

* * *

 

Levi jerks awake in his chair when he hears the shrill screams of terror echoing through the halls.

He curses under his breath and gets to his feet, shaking the stiffness from his body. By the time he gets to the door the screaming has stopped, but he keeps moving, snapping at the newbies who've started opening their doors.

"Get back in your rooms! There's no fire, trust me."

One of the new ones, a big blond guy whose name escapes Levi, follows after him. Judging by the sounds of footsteps behind him, he's not the only one who has decided that their _very first day_ is the day to start disobeying orders. "Are you sure?" the big guy asks "I heard someone screaming."

Levi stops and turns around to face him. Sure enough, there's at least fifteen others behind him, Eren included. "Really now? Well it's a good thing you have such sharp ears. The rest of us were just going for a nice stroll at one in the fucking morning." He gives the kids a hard look. "Go back to your rooms. That's an order."

"But someone could be hurt and--"

Levi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's a nightmare, kid. If you're here longer than a week, you'll learn to recognize one when you hear it. It's not exactly a rare occurrence." The big guy looks taken aback for a moment. "Go back to your rooms. The last thing she needs is a bunch of kids gawking at her right now."

With that, he turns to go. He doesn't check to make sure they did as they were told, but the lack of footsteps behind him is telling. He moves quickly, descending one flight of stairs and navigating one particularly winding corridor before he arrives at the door he knows he's needed at.

He raps softly on the door. "Bradford. It's Levi."

There's a soft rustling sound and the creak of bedsprings before a hoarse voice answers him. "It's open."

Levi enters, closing the door behind him with a soft _click_. He doesn't move to sit next to the soldier, instead staying by the door. He's not good at comforting people in that way--in any way, really. He also doesn't speak, instead waiting for her to collect her thoughts.

While the soldier rakes her fingers through her hair, managing some level of orderliness, Levi runs her file over in his head.

_Lilah Bradford, 28, a soldier for 3 years. No parents, no extended family. Joined the service with her twin sister._

_Lost sister 2 months ago._

"I'm sorry for waking you up." The soldier whispers, wiping her face.

"Don't worry about that. I sleep lightly."

"I just...I keep seeing it happen." There's a pregnant silence that hangs over them, weighty and oppressive. "I keep expecting to find out it's somehow not real. That she's still..."

Levi nods, and a familiar ache thrums in his chest. "It…does get easier. Not _better_ , but...manageable. You don’t get over it, but you…learn to live with it."

The soldier shakes her head, hair falling like a curtain in front of her eyes. "I don't see how."

Levi shuts his eyes and sighs. "One day at a time."

* * *

 

Eren, Armin, and Mikasa don't immediately go back to bed like they had been instructed. Judging by the lack of Reiner's distinctive snoring or Sasha's sleep-murmuring, the others hadn't managed to do so either.

Armin bites his lip, looking down at the rough blanket. "That's going to be us someday, isn't it?"

Mikasa frowns and reaches out to lay a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know. But whatever happens, we'll get through it." Her adamant tone brooks no argument, and Eren can't help the soft smile that dances across his lips.

Armin looks up at her. "Do you think we'll be able to?"

Mikasa looks to Eren and then back to Armin. "Maybe not by ourselves. But we've got each other, and the others from the 104th, and Carla and Hannes."

"And Maria!" Eren chips in brightly.

Mikasa's lip twitches up in a smile. "And Maria." She strokes a hand through Armin's hair. "You can't stop a Titan with a single brick, but you can stop it with a wall," she quotes, the adage gaining more weight than normal due to their surroundings.

Armin smiles then, and leans his head against Mikasa's shoulder, grasping Eren's hand in his. "I like our wall."

Mikasa grabs Eren's other hand and presses her cheek against the top of Armin's head. "Me too." 

Eren's heart feels ready to burst, and he can't keep the smile off his face as he tugs his family to the bed to go to sleep. They've got a busy week ahead of them, after all.

* * *

 

The first week at the Survey Corps Headquarters turned out to be much like life during basic training. They woke up early, did training exercises, ate together in the mess hall, and even socialized in much the same way (mainly via playing cards and sparring in their moments of free time). The drills were different, though, focusing on skills they would need out in the field. The atmosphere was heavier and could get tense at times, but overall, Eren was pleased with his decision to come here.

If there was one thing Eren _disliked_ about life at the Survey Corps Headquarters, however, it was the horrible, terrible, _traitorous_ beasts that seemed to have it out for him.

A furious whinny cuts through the air and Eren yelps when the horse twists and bucks, trying to fling him off like its life depends on it. Eren can't tell if he should grab the pommel or the reins as the beast canters around the enclosed area at a breakneck speed, pausing only to attempt to rid itself of its rider.

The horse beneath him bucks again with a sharp whinny and Eren pitches off the side of the saddle. He curses when he realizes his foot has tangled in the stirrup, trapping him against the massive creature as it barrels to the other side of the paddock. Eren curses and fists his hand in the beast's mane to steady himself as he looks up into the creature's wide, terrified eyes. It bucks again, and Eren grunts as he slams into the horse's solid flank.

"Brixie!" The handler cries at the _miserable, horrible_ creature _,_ "What's the _matter_ , girl?"

Eren grimaces. He knows _exactly_ what's the matter. The Survey Corps's steeds may be trained not to spook in the presence of Titans, but they'd obviously never been put to the test of being mounted by one. And they have a powerful enough sense of smell to know it.

Eren kicks out with his trapped foot, trying to free his foot from the stirrup as the beast tears across the enclosure again. When it reaches the other side, the foul creature lets out a terrible bray and gives a single great heave that manages to fling him to the ground. Sharp pain lances through his shoulder as it connects with the hard ground, but he ignores it in favor of rolling underneath the fence just as two sharp hooves connect where he had just been.

Sweat trickles down his forehead as he sits, trying to catch his breath, and he goes to wipe it off, only to wince at the pain in his shoulder. He hears the handler speaking to the horse with soothing words and scowls as it only nuzzles the human and lips at its coat.

"Eren!" He hears Armin cry as he pushes through the crowd. "Are you alright?" His eyes are wide and worried and Eren can only smile in return.

"Yes, fine. Only a little sore."

"I don't understand it," Armin says with a frown, "she was perfectly calm when I rode her."

Eren sighs and reaches up to tousle his hair, earning him an indignant sputter. "That is because everyone likes you."

Armin pinks and Eren takes the opportunity to stand, walking stiffly to the edge of the crowd to lean against a low wall. When he slides down to rest on the ground, he takes a moment to rotate his shoulder a little to get the feeling back into it. One of the older soldiers turns to glance at him before resuming conversation with another soldier, and Eren can't help the flush of embarrassment that creeps up his neck.

Brixie had been the fifth horse he'd tried to ride. The handler had led her into the paddock with a wry grin and a promise that the beige horse with the greying face was too old and sweet to put up any kind of fuss.

Apparently the old nag still had some fire in her.

A hot, humid breeze on the back of his neck makes Eren shudder and wipe at the wet feeling. A second later, however, it comes again--this time accompanied by a fuzzy warmth pressed firmly against his nape. Eren flinches at the proximity to his weak spot, and whirls around to see a dark brown muzzle sniffing inquisitively in his direction.

Eren glares at the horse. "Go away."

The beast ignores him, instead straining over the stall door to bury its nose in his hair.

"Hey, he actually seems to like you." Eren turns to see the handler smiling at the scene with an eyebrow raised. "Eren, this is Henry, Henry, Eren." The horse nickers at the human, lipping at the hand that comes to pet its muzzle. The human grumbles at the horse's searching, and mutters a quiet, "Calm down, I already gave you a treat today."

"You think he will let me ride him?"

The handler frowns. "Dunno. He's really young, hasn't even been outside the Walls yet, so normally I wouldn't advise it. We try to start new riders on experienced horses, but..." The handler scratches the horse's neck. "He seems to like you more than the others."

An understatement.

"I'll tack him up tomorrow and see if he'll let you ride him. If he decides to toss you like a rag doll, you'll just have to ride in the supply wagons whenever you go out."

Eren's face must show his displeasure at the thought of getting thrown again, because the human laughs, giving him a slap on the back before returning to the paddock to help another new soldier ride.

Eren turns to face the horse, giving him what he hopes is a stern look. "Don't buck tomorrow."

The horse blinks at him, and he figures that's as close to agreement as he'll get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do the first scene in this chapter. :D
> 
> Also, I don't have OCD, so I'm sorry if my characterization was off (o_o);;
> 
> Lastly, to the person who corrected my punctuation on the last chapter: Thank you! I haven't had an English class since the 10th grade, so I'm no good at that kind of thing. I had no idea I was even doing that! I tried to keep the quotes/commas thing in mind while writing this chapter, but I probably slipped up a lot. (Sorry!) Still, the more you know! :D


End file.
